Sandy:
I can't expect God to do anything for me if I have these shifting feelings, as the verses above state so clearly. So I might as well stop praying because it's a sham, and God knows it.
You got that right! God knows it! And it was exactly what he planned before you were even conceived.
Remember this...
Our prayers are not for God's benefit. They are for ours. He knows exactly what we need. Remember the verses about the lilies of the field and the birds of the air. Your prayers are not a surprise to God. He is not disappointed in them or you. Your comments about these prayers say one very strong thing to me.
They are working. Not for what you had in mind, but for what God Willed. You've noticed that they are nothing but a sham. Well done... God's Will is going to come about. Your prayers don't change this. Maybe that is too hard to accept, but it is true.
Why is God doing this to me? Maybe He does want me to kill myself. Maybe that is His will.
If your guess as to God's Will is true, can *you* do anything to overcome His Will? (Answer Hint: NOPE!) Can you add or take away even one nanosecond from the life that God has made for you? (Answer Hint: See previous hint) Is any of this a 'Good thing'? (Answer Hint: Absolutely Yes!)
Maybe what I have written sounds harsh.
I really do care deeply about you.
I care deeply about all of the members and readers here. But this life (age) is not meant to be comfortable. Thankfully, it is only the tinest portion of deathlessness that we will ultimately be given. It will have taught you (and each person) much, but it is nothing more than 'the blink of an eye' in reality.
By the way... If this life was full of comfort and ease, what would we have learned? With the weak hearts we have started out with I think that a life of comfort and ease would breed much evil and sin.
So what is this life for? Well, I don't claim to know any more than anybody else, but there is one obvious reason for this life.
To come to the ultimate truth, God is God. Every aspect of this life is known by God. When He caused you to exist He really did predestine and foreknow exactly how every single second of your life would be. And there is a good reason for every one of those seconds. Even if we are too blind to see them at this time.
Just in case... That doesn't mean that I am telling you that you should just 'do nothing.' To be blunt, you can't. I'm not telling you that you should quit praying. Instead, keep noticing what you are praying. Is it for your will or His?
Sandy, *my* will is that you would receive some comfort right now, but it is His that will be done. I will be praying for your comfort,
but mostly I will be thanking God for the fact that you are a part of this forum, this church. And for all that He has given us all, thru you.Hope some of this makes sense,
\/\/ard