Hi Beth,
My heart goes out to you. You have really been given a hard way to go. I am glad to hear you say,
I tell you, I cannot go back to the beliefs I once held. Even though I do not understand it all, I can't go back.You do understand that it is not actually you they are against, but the truth of God. This is not your battle, it is Christ's battle, He will not leave you alone in this.
Rom 8:31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
I can see how difficult this is for you, but you are standing with Christ.
Gal 5:1 Stand fast therefore in the liberty with which Christ has made us free, and do not again be held with the yoke of bondage.
Gal 5:10 I have confidence in you in the Lord, that you will think nothing else, but that he troubling you shall bear the judgment, whoever he may be.
This story in Kings is something to think about
2Ki 6:15 And when the servant of the man of God arose early and went out, there was an army, surrounding the city with horses and chariots. And his servant said to him, "Alas, my master! What shall we do?"
v. 16 So he answered, "Do not fear, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them."
v. 17 And Elisha prayed, and said, "LORD, I pray, open his eyes that he may see." Then the LORD opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw. And behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.
I will continue to remember you in my prayers.
mercy, peace and peace
Kat