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I need your prayers

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lilitalienboi16:
Hello, i'm on the brink of going insane right now, and i honostly need all the prayer i can get.. maybe God will hear you over me, because i certainly don't even deserve to talk to Him.

My mind is on the brink of like exploding, the realization of utter hopelessness without Him, the ability to see my efforts are useless without His strength, and the want to follow him, but the UNABILITY to do a darn thing about makeing one little step towards Him has driven me mad. I truly feel like my mind is about the explode. I Just can't, with all my will and strength and all the power vested in me [which is absolutely nothing as i see it] i am unable to do one good thing.

I don't like what is happening to me, i hate who i am becoming, and yet i cannot change it. I honostly feel like i'm going insane, i hate not haveing controle, i fear not haveing controle, but its not me that fears at all? WHAT? Yes thats right, there is like 2 alex's. The one that wants to stop sinning, and the one that ENJOYS IT. AHHHHHHHH WHAT? How can that be? I DONT WANT TO SIN, and YET I SIN! I ENJOY IT, BUT THEN I HATE IT!

I just... i don't know what is going on wiht me, something i can't controle, and it frightens me, i'm going down the wrong path, and i don't want to, i apply the brakes, the car that is my life screeches, but the car just won't stop! I cry out, and i cry out! Deliverance, i need it, deliver me oh Lord, and nothing..., nothing because the screeching of that speeding car blocks out all the sound, drowns it out, until there is nothing i can hear but those breaks struggling to stop but completley unable to.

I really just need your prayers.. i know this sounds all wierd, and 'oh alex it's not a big deal,' but it really is. Does anyone know what it feels like to be on the verge of looseing your mind? Yes i'm sure some of you do, and all this is because i can't do what i want to do, and i can't stop wanting what i don't want to want any longer.

It's scary when you realize, it's gonna take divine influence upon your heart to turn this reck around, and yet.. you know theres nothing you can do, to recieve that influence, or to make you worthy of it. Theres absolutely nothing, not one thing. No man, no power on earth, that could make you deserving of His grace to change you and conform you to the image of His Son. And all the while, you are left, watching yourself as you head for that reck, that seems so avoidable, and yet nothing can be done to avoid it.

I guess i'm just realy scared, seeing how God has not intervened and not given me power over this this sin that i just cannot stop repeating it , despite how much i hate it and want to stop, it makes me afraid, because i feel that since God hasn't intervened yet... that he never will..

please pray for me.

Thank you and i hope GOd gives me the strength to atleeast pray for you all, because you all deserve it.

I can still love [thank God heh..], so that i will do.. i love you all

Alex

D Student:
Alex, check your messages. ;D

rk12201960:
Hiya Alex,
It seems to me you love God more than your sin. Don't worry its something we all  in counter in our journey.
Is God showing you that you are naked? Does it feel weird, odd or down right wrong?
Fire isn't warm it burns.  Can you feel the flames?
PSALM 24------------------
THE LORD IS MY SHEPERD; i SHALL NOT WANT
HE MAKES ME TO LIE DOWN IN GREEN PASTURES
HE LEADS ME BESIDE THE STILL WATERS HE RESTORES MY SOUL;
HE LEADS ME IN THE PATHS OF RIGHTEOUSNESS
FOR HIS NAME'S SAKE.
YEA, THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLY OF"THE SHADOW OF DEATH
I WILL FEAR NO EVIL;
FOR YOU ARE WITH ME;
YOUR ROD AND YOUR STAFF, THEY COMFORT ME.
YOU "PREPARE A TABLE BEFORE ME IN THE PRESENCE OR MY ENEMIES {SIN}
YOU ANOINT MY HEAD WITH OIL;
MY CUP RUNS OVER.
SURELY GOODNESS AND MERCY SHALL FOLLOW ME
ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE;
AND I WILL DWELL IN THE HOUSE OF THE LORD
FOREVER.
Trust God its what he is teaching you. Your sin or mine or anybodies is NOT greater than God.
Drop that load ( self dependence) pick up your cross and lets go little bro, its all a part of God purging you!I WILL pray for you, but its your understanding that God is molding I just pray you catch it fast as this kind spanking really hurts.

Your are not alone in your sin, Jesus has already beat it on the cross.
God bless little bro.

Randy
 8)

Craig:
Alex, Don't be so hard on yourself.

You are in good company with all of us here, and the apostle Paul.

Rom 7  NLT
15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. 16 But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. 17 So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.

Craig

Kat:

Hi Alex,

You are having your eyes opened, I can see that in the words you post here.  God has seen fit to open your eyes at a young age, but who knows how many years any of us have, as Christ may return soon.
Whatever your experience in this life is, it is God shaping and molding you.

Pro 16:9  A man's heart plans his way, but Jehovah directs his steps.

I think you are seeking Him, just continue to do so and I'll be praying for you.

Mat 11:28  Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
v. 29  Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
v.30  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

mercy, peace and love
Kat

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