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struggling out

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Triton:
Hi Ya All,

I've joined recently and mentioned a bit about my situation and how I'm still
"in" a churce, a leader as well as leading a fellowship group.

Well, I've lately been a bit more open about my beliefs, which are in line with the
beliefs here, with my fellow fellowship members.
Last night I was asked by a member about sin and I explained how I felt. We looked at
some scriptures, and I should add that they know very few, and then one member was
quite upfront with a few questions directed toward me and my beliefs.
I was a bit surprised, but tried to answer it as best as I could.

Afterward I felt disappointed. Nobody agreed. Yet, as I said, they couldn't really refute
what I shared. They just believe what they believe. Nothing against them. They're my good friends.
Maybe I'm just feeling depressed.

We went home and I told my wife that I want to quit as leader -This might be the initial
step. She said I should go to talk to the pastor. Oh boy! Don't want to do that!
It would just be a total mess. Bad feelings and so on.
But I kind of know that is what I should do. Or is it? Now if I were in a big church with many members
I could just quietly disappear, but our church is small, as is the community. And I don't just walk away.
It's just not the way it should be done.

Aaaaghhhh guys..............

I know that no one can give me the golden recipe of how to come out. I just wanted to share how I felt.

It would be nice to know that at least a few here are reading and through that at least I'll feel
there's a bit of support.

Also would like to say that the way the members here communicate with each other are really
wonderful to see and it's rubbing off onto me. That's just so nice!

Peace to ya all.

skydreamers:
Hi Paul,

It looks like you're in a situation that many here at the forum are in or have been in at some point, so I am sure you will get some wonderful words of advice and encouragement.   

This is not something I can speak to personally, since I wasn't overly involved in the church I went to, so leaving was easy.  But I know how difficult and discouraging it can be to share this message of UR with people you care about just to have it rejected. 

Though coming into these truths can be a struggle, and a painful tearing down of what we thought we knew, still the result is a deeper peace and joy than one could have ever had before.  It's like our peace with God becomes more solid and intimate, but the price is losing the peace with the world around us. 

My prayers are with you.  I pray the Lord give you a clear understanding of what to do next, and the strength to endure it.  It's likely that if you keep sharing your beliefs you will eventually be asked to leave.  The truth is intolerable to those who are still blind.  God be with you!

Peace and love to ya,
Diana

sonofone:
HI PAUL I TOO AM NEW HEAR,YET I SAY WELCOME TO THE BOARD! PAUL THEIR IS A LOT THAT I FEEL I COULD SHARE WITH You FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. I would rather do it through pm,because I tend to get a little long winded when writing. I will offer this for now. As long as you are in your current church,you have an obligation to faithfully teach what the Pastor would in his absence. It would be improper for you to work for Pepsi-Cola,and send trade secrets to Coca-Cola.To do such in the church will only gender strife,and confusion,which God is not the author of. If you find that your theology has or is differing from your local assembly, you have an higher obligation as a leader to settle this matter or at least remove yourself from teaching until you resolve this.I would also caution you to move slowly and lest you sense God saying move quickly. In other words be sure when you move you hear and sense the direction of God.For if you move ahead of God or behind him you will feel even more miserable tan you probably do now.

Kat:
Hi Paul,

I was a teacher in a small church for 10 yrs.  I mostly taught children, but was in the youth department for a few years.  
I'm just wondering why would you go and discuss this with your pastor who has totally different beliefs than you?  You may need to go and inform him of any decisions you make that would effect the church.  Like your not teaching will open a position they will need to fill.  But how can he possibly give you wise council on this matter?  Like you said trying to explain what you believe will probably stir up bad feelings, you won't be able to explain where they can understand, don't cast your pearls before swine, so to speak.  You would want to give an answer to any sincere questions though.  
Just take it one step at a time, and do what you are lead to do.  God will give you strength and you will know what to do when the time comes.  It's not easy, this is a big change to make.  It's like Diana said, the result is a deeper peace and joy than one could have ever had before.

John 14:27  Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

mercy, peace and love
Kat

YellowStone:
Hi Paul,

Like Diana, I too was part a church but not heavily involved in it. My advice would be very similar to what Kat gave, be up front and tell your church you are leaving. There is no need to tell them why, other than for personal reasons. Being from a small community myself many years ago, it matters not what they are told, for they will make their own mind up.

Personally, I would tell tham that God has opened your eyes and heart to an understanding that is in conflict with the teachings of the church. This will of course cause quite a stir, but trust me, they will not be able to prove you wrong, and neither will they be able to prove their belief. More than likely you will be told that it is not up to you to understand everything. I will leave it up to you, how you will repond to that. Speaking from experience, stating something like: "can you not with your enlightened understanding explain in such a way that I can learn" does not really work. Especially when they back down and you close with: "it's because you can't right?"

I have used this a number of times, and any further conversation promptly stopped. I guess this is the one thing I have found while in the church, NO ONE likes their faith being questioned and they will back away from you as iff you had the plauge.

It will not be pretty, but at least it will be over pretty quickly.

Trust God to give you the words and the wisdom of how to use them, and I am sure it will work better than even you imagine.

I will pray for you,

Darren

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