Hi, Selina. I am so moved by your post. I, too, once faced the dilemma you are in and I understand the intensity of the emotions you must be feeling from this whole situation. It is a very difficult thing to find yourself called by God to understand and believe His Truths while at the same time suffering the criticisms and rejections of those Truths by a person whom you hold so dearly in your heart. I don’t know the specific circumstance(s) that caused you to find Ray Smith’s website but I KNOW that God intended for you to do so, so please have peace about that. I don’t know why you and your boyfriend are debating spiritual issues but there is a debate going on and you are left in tears afterwards. I know that experience well, too, dear Selina. Please understand that not everyone is given the gift of spiritual discernment and it is possible that you have been given that priceless gift and your boyfriend has not. Jesus speaks of spiritual discernment over and over again in Revelation:
He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God. Revelation 2:7;
He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. He who overcomes will not be hurt at all by the second death. Revelation 2:11;
He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it. Revelation 2:17;
He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. Revelation 2:29;
He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. Revelation 3:6;
He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. Revelation 3:13; and
He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. Revelation 3:22
Perhaps you have been given an ear to hear and your boyfriend has not? Most of Christendom does not hear what the Spirit says. As it is written: "God gave them a spirit of stupor, eyes so that they could not see and ears so that they could not hear, to this very day." Romans 11:8. Ray Smith’s teachings are filled with scriptural counsel on the issue of spiritual discernment and I encourage you to continue to read and learn what the Spirit has to say to you about it.
Either God gives your boyfriend spiritual discernment or He doesn’t. I am concerned about the pressure your boyfriend is putting on you now, at this stage in your relationship, and I have the same concerns that others here have expressed about that. I think spiritual discernment is a very important issue between you two and it is bringing to the surface other important issues, including what appears to be his disrespect of you and his bullying of you, that you really should consider. You have to face whatever the truth is about all of that, too, and deal with it according to how God leads you to deal with it. Please take heart and know that no matter how excruciating your situation may seem, it is absolutely God’s Perfect Plan and Good Purpose for you. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. 1 Peter 1:6-9
Please continue to seek His Counsel, through prayer, reading the Bible and studying Ray’s teachings. And please stay in touch with us and let us know how you are doing.
You are in my prayers.
In His Service,
Cathy