100 To 1

[sonofone]

My wife and I have been attending a church now together for about two months. My wife is yet a babe in her spiritual growth and needs to be in a church to feel connected to God. I have my own beliefs about church, suffice it to say I could live without it. Nonetheless we have been going to this one church as I said for nearly two months now. I felt compelled after about a week of attending service to request an audience from the pastor of the church concerning an issue I wanted him to address. The church boast over 300 active members and over 2000 members on the roll.So getting a one on one with the pastor is as hard as sitting down with the president of the USA. So I was assigned a District Elder to address my concern. So I talk with the district Elder and tell him I have an issue with the church teaching tithes. He says that's OK brother you just haven't been taught,stick around and you will learn.Sensing that he did not understand me, I say no I understand the message, I just don't agree with it. Once again he says when the pastor teaches the class in sound doctrine you can ask him all the questions you need to.I left the conversation realizing that I really did not get anywhere with him,but I moved on. In the meantime every service and I mean this literally the Pastor gets up and finds a way to get tithing into every message. Out of nowhere a reference comes up to tithing totally unrelated to what he was preaching about,almost like a subliminal message. You're robbing God you have on God's socks,so on and so forth.So I request a second meeting with the elder and tell him I can't wait for a class on tithing I need to be heard now. So he meets with me the following Sunday after church,and I'm sitting down with him giving him some background info when all of a sudden he ask me to get to the point. So I blurt it out.I see no scriptural authority for anyone to teach tithing for the Newtestament church. I could have knocked him over with a feather. I said that the scripture everyone uses in Malachi is misapplied and cannot set a foundation for teaching tithes anymore then Jesus telling his Disciples that they could take up serpents,and drink deadly poisons.I said to him at what part of the service would you bring out the snakes,and poison and have everyone test the legitimacy of there salvation? So as if he had no idea what I was talking about he says OK so you believe tithing is wrong. I say yes. He says I am going to get my scriptures together and get back with you. So again I leave frustrated nothing resolved. Days go by no word from the Elder. So I call him and say am I supposed to be calling you? I heard you say that you would get back with me but haven't heard from you?He apologizes says he's been really busy. So finally I say hey I need to talk with the Pastor,no offence.So I draft an Email which I wish I could post here for you to read.Two pages in all I outline as brief as I could every conceivable argument for tithing and address them with several scriptures for each point. It's been two weeks no word from the Pastor. So last Sunday The Elder says he's ready to talk with me so I'm hopeful that I will finally get resolution. I failed to mention I also gave a copy of the letter to the Elder for him to read as well. He takes me into a room restates my objection,and this is his response to my letter. Thank you for your letter, I am not here to get into a debate or argument with you because God's word is settled already in heaven,and the scriptures are of no private interpretation. Tithing is a eternal doctrine established through Abraham when he paid tithes to Melchizedek, which was a type of Christ and predates the law. Tithing is also necessary to help fund the church,because the church has to be supported with money.No scriptures ever given no reference to the scriptures I gave him, just that statement which he made clear was not open for debate or argument. So I made a statement to him which I still am not sure he heard. I also wrote it in my two page letter. I said I can give you 100 scriptures showing that what you said is not factual,and all you need to do is give me one scripture to support what you just said. I said because even if I gave you 100 scriptures out the same bible you have in your hand you still would go on believing as you do. No response given. Jesus told the Pharisees to search the scriptures for in them they think they have eternal life.100 to 1 was a facetious point of course.I just wanted to get the conversation rooted in scriptures and away from dogmatics statements and opinions.Once again I left frustrated no resolution. I am hoping my wife can see the total folly in this situation and realize the hypocrisy of the church with it's false teachings. I think she is beginning to see it.She asked me after it was over why can't they see what is so plain for you to see? I told her because they can't afford to. They are currently mortgaging a church that cost is in the millions. If they reversed the train on tithing,they could expect the offerings to go down tremendously,which could possibly bankrupt the ministry. I asked her what would you do if you were trying to protect your self interest? A lightbulb went off in her head. Pray for us. Thanks

[hillsbororiver]

Hi sonophone,

This is an uphill battle to be sure, I went through a similar situation with my wife's pastor before she left her (Baptist) church, he just would not even answer emails always citing "too busy," I have a strong suspicion time was always found to count the money though. The love of the Word is not in them.

2Pe 2:1  But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction.

2Pe 2:2  And many shall follow their pernicious ways; by reason of whom the way of truth shall be evil spoken of.

2Pe 2:3  And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you: whose judgment now of a long time lingereth not, and their damnation slumbereth not.

We will be praying for you both,

Joe

[DuluthGA]

I read your post with interest.... this part was funny...

"I said that the scripture everyone uses in Malachi is misapplied and cannot set a foundation for teaching tithes anymore than Jesus telling his Disciples that they could take up serpents, and drink deadly poisons."   

Praying for you two!
Janice

[javajoe]

Sonofone,

I agree with Joe.  This is an uphill battle, more like Mount Everest.  I've told one of the lead elders at my church and the pastor at my former church the same thing about tithing.  They won't get it, they have too much of a compelling interest.  If you press it any more, you may be seen as a divisive person and may have to go through "church discipline".  If your wife is in agreement, I'd say just move on,  But be sensitive to your wife, you don't want anything to harm your marriage.  The sermon I heard last Sunday was not about tithing, but giving sacrificially, even using an example of one of the flock giving up vacation to give the money to church.  Giving to church, in his mind, was the same as giving to God.  They know how to make you feel guilty.  I am planning on leaving sometime soon.   I am convinced more than ever that the church was not meant to be buildings and programs.  God bless you and your wife, I pray that you work out a resolution through the guidance of the Holy Spirit!


JavaJoe


P.S.  By the way,  his line about Abraham giving 10% predating the law really has no merit.  Circumcision predated the law also and no pastor I know is eager to compel their males to get circumcised!!

[Craig]

Sonofone,

I agree with Joe.  This is an uphill battle, more like Mount Everest.  I've told one of the lead elders at my church and the pastor at my former church the same thing about tithing.  They won't get it, they have too much of a compelling interest.  If you press it any more, you may be seen as a divisive person and may have to go through "church discipline".  If your wife is in agreement, I'd say just move on,  But be sensitive to your wife, you don't want anything to harm your marriage.  The sermon I heard last Sunday was not about tithing, but giving sacrificially, even using an example of one of the flock giving up vacation to give the money to church.  Giving to church, in his mind, was the same as giving to God.  They know how to make you feel guilty.  I am planning on leaving sometime soon.   I am convinced more than ever that the church was not meant to be buildings and programs.  God bless you and your wife, I pray that you work out a resolution through the guidance of the Holy Spirit!


JavaJoe


P.S.  By the way,  his line about Abraham giving 10% predating the law really has no merit.  Circumcision predated the law also and no pastor I know is eager to compel their males to get circumcised!!

JavaJoe writes in another thread...
So what is the fuss about?  What is the danger of believing in the Trinity, or maybe the Twinity?  If you believe Jesus is your savior, and the savior of the whole world why even divide on such a thing?

JavaJoe, I'm not doing this to pick on you but to bring out an error we all make from time to time. 

What is the danger in believing in Tithing?  If you believe Jesus is your savior, and the savior of the whole world why even divide on such a thing?

What is the danger in believing in hell? If you believe Jesus is your savior, and the savior of the whole world why even divide on such a thing?

What is the danger in believing in the Pre-trib Rapture?  If you believe Jesus is your savior, and the savior of the whole world why even divide on such a thing?

What is the danger in believing in anything that is not true?  If you believe Jesus is your savior, and the savior of the whole world why even divide on such a thing?

A little lie mixed with truth hurts the whole Word of God and eventually corrupts even the basic truths.  As an old story goes, if I used a recipe to make the worlds best brownies and made a batch of 100 these brownies would you want to eat them?  What if you found out I put pinch of dog crap in the mix, would you want to eat them then?

Always guard the truth!

Blessing!
Craig


Sorry Sonofone for highjacking your thread.  As has been said you have an uphill battle ahead of you.  I pray that if God keeps you there, you will be able to help others see the truth.   And if God calls you out of there, you will have the strength to leave.

[javajoe]

Hi Craig,

You make a good point, but at this stage in my walk, I'm not sure the Trinity doctrine is untrue.  I don't like using the word, because its not in the bible, but the basic concept was used to explain an apparent contradiction.  The Word teaches that the Father is God, the Son is God, The Holy Spirit is the "Spirit of God", Jesus said "I and my Father are one", and of course, the Word teaches that there is but one God (Deut 6:4).  I've read what Ray says about all this, but nothing in my spirit "clicked" like it did with the tithing error and the gross hell doctrine.  I can see the bad consequences of believing in hell and tithing, but I can't see any bad consequences from believing in a Triune God - maybe you can explain specifically what they might be.   I mean, were talking 50 years of indoctrination here!  I'm sure the Spirit will lead me into all truth, but I'm not there yet.  Are any of us?   Just pray that my eyes will be opened.

[Craig]

Hi, JavaJoe, like I said I did not answer to pick on you but you gave a good opening about something to ponder.

I realize we are all at different stages, and that is why we need to guard the truths we learn lest we waiver.

You asked to explain how the trinity doctrine would make a difference in our beliefs, but I will ask you to do something for me.

Explain in your own words the trinity doctrine.  Pretend like I am from Mars, and never heard of this before, explain this to me in simple terms to make me understand.

Craig

[hillsbororiver]

Hi javajoe,

No one here on earth has all the truth or understanding, we are in absolute agreement there. I too came here with some baggage left over not really exclusively from my limited church experience but even more so from all the books I read from christian Ph.D's, prophets, evangelists, etc. It takes some time to have these man made theories, doctrines and future scenarios purged from our minds. It requires perseverance and patience, two traits that were not exactly strong points for me!

But with God "all things are possible." (Matt 19:26, Mark 10:27)

Seeking and absorbing Scriptural Truth should be our focus and although we will never have a complete understanding of all things while in the flesh the Lord knows our hearts and whether we are seeking diligently or are slothful, easily accepting man made doctrine as a matter of convenience or as an idol of the heart.

Mat 15:9  But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.

Christ seems a bit rigid in this verse, "in vain" seems like something we really do not want to be doing, I know that I have come to the point where when I have an opinion or feeling about a thing I tend to put it on hold until I can find Scriptural witnesses, and even then I still find a way to screw up!

Here is a portion from Ray's "Trinity" paper that I found to be appropriate here, for both topics in this thread.

Encyclopaedia Britannica Vol. 2, page 480:

(quote) TRINITY. Fundamental Conception.--This conception of the Trinity is systematically developed by theologians, Greek, Latin and Protestant...The doctrine, then, is primarily religious and if we define God--as in practice religion does--as 'That which has an absolute claim upon our obedience' or as 'the Supreme Object of our reverence,' the paradoxical element in the doctrine is at least diminished...Is there, then any insuperable difficulty in the notion of a threefold personal embodiment of the one Divine Will and Character, an embodiment so complete in each case that contact with the Divine Person is contact with God:...This ultimate unity of subordination to a single principle is not necessarily identical with the unity which comes from being included within the mind of a single Divine Being. Nor is it obviously identical with the theologian's 'numerical unity of substance.' The Unity, then, of the Object of our supreme reverence and trust is not plainly inconsistent with the existence of personal distinctions (in the modern sense of the word) within the Godhead. It was probably an afterthought to regard the doctrine of the Trinity as providing a more satisfactory conception of 'personality in God' than could grow up under a 'uninpersonal' theology. Yet Trinitarianism has some points of superiority over a theory which may compel us to conceive God as waking up at the Creation from 'an eternity of idleness.' ...It has been similarly argued that in conceiving the 'not-self with which God contrasts Himself' as 'wholly internal to His essence' while the unity (the Holy Spirit) 'within which the relation of the two falls is not, as in us, a dark mystery at the back of our life but something which 'proceeds from both' we have 'the best notion that we can frame of Being at its highest.' Such an argument lead not merely to a plurality but to a trinity of Divine persons, and supports the Western doctrine of the procession of the Spirit from the Father and the Son. (End of Britannica quote).

Wow! What intellectual enlightenment! What an exposition of deep mysteries! What profound theological insight! WHAT A CROCK. . .!!!

I am here to tell you that the above theologian's rendition of the trinity is nothing but a hodgepodge of unintelligible, dubious, theological, intellectual gobbledygook!! Don't ever feel inferior or put down by the intellectual vanity of writers like this, who haven't a clue as to what they are talking about.

I will give someone hundreds of dollars if they can explain to me the above phrase, "wholly internal to His essence." Such intellectual phraseology is wholly meaningless. It is gross nonsense. I guarantee you that the author of this Britannica article could never explain that phrase, "wholly internal to His essence" in anything resembling coherent English. Nor could he explain a dozen other similar phrases and statements in his article regarding the trinity.

Notice what Paul instructs those who would teach God's Word:

"For if a trumpet, also, should be giving a dubious sound, who will be preparing for battle? THUS, YOU ALSO, if you should not be giving an INTELLIGIBLE expression through the language, HOW WILL IT BE KNOWN WHAT IS BEING SPOKEN?"

Does this verse need any comment? Do any of my readers think for one moment that the theologians responsible for this Britannica article on the trinity follow Paul's instructions seriously?

God also warns against ...

"Adding to" or "taking away from" His Word (Rev. 22:18-10)

We are to rightly "divide" God's Word (II Tim. 2:15-18)

We are to "...distinguish the things that DIFFER" (Phil. 1:10)

We are to have a "PATTERN OF SOUND WORDS" (II Tim. 1:13-14)

Also, we are to shun the "TRADITIONS OF MEN" (Col. 2:8)

and the "WISDOM OF THIS WORLD" (I Cor. 1:20 & 3:19)

If the above theologian, and most theologians throughout the world including most clergymen would follow God's instructions on teaching, there would be millions fewer religious books. And for sure, there would not be millions and millions of words devoted to the futile exercise of trying to prove the one plus one plus one equals ONE trinity of God theory.

Is the Word of God only understood by plowing through tens of thousands of pages of theological speculations as with this Britannica article on the trinity?

By the way, did you catch the phrase, "...the PARADOXICAL element in the doctrine [of the trinity] is at least diminished...?"

Amazingly, even though the doctrine of the trinity is conceded by theologians themselves to be a "hypothesis" that is "illogical," (to which we can now also add "paradoxical"), and let us not forget the most important of all, "non scriptural," one can nonetheless find himself ridiculed and ostracized for not paying homage to this Christian idol of the heart.

I will give just one example of what I mean. I went to the Internet and searched for "trinity doctrine." The first web site I selected from the first grouping was entitled: "Doctrine of the Trinity" By Dr. Ed DeVries, President of the School of Biblical & Theological Studies. His first paragraph makes the following statements:

"Since the word Trinity IS NOT FOUND ANYWHERE IN THE RECEIVED TEXT or in its offspring (the Authorized Version and other biblical translations derived from the received text), many argue that the doctrine of the Trinity is NOT A BIBLICAL ONE. However, when a person comes to understand the THEORY [yes dear readers, we are back to that word "theory" again] that is embodied in the terminology they can NOT HELP BUT FIND PROOF OF THE TRINITY THROUGHOUT THE BIBLE. The doctrine of the Trinity is believed by ALL Christian groups. Some groups profess to be Christian and DO NOT believe in the Trinity, however, NONE OF THESE GROUPS ARE TRULY CHRISTIAN..." (Emphasis mine--of course).

Did you get all that? Notice that in order to "find PROOF of the trinity THROUGHOUT the Bible," all one has to do is come to "understand the THEORY that is EMBODIED in the TERMINOLOGY."

What am I missing? Why does my brain not work like that? Am I an intellectual dunce? I'll tell you the way my brain works. If I wanted to "find proof of the trinity throughout the Bible," I would not first try to come to "understand the theory that is embodied in the terminology." No, I'm sorry, but I would not do that.

Here is what I would do if I wanted to "find proof of the trinity throughout the Bible," I would... LOOK IN THE BIBLE!!! That's what I would do. But, I have already done that, and the trinity 'ain't' there! And that my friends is why we are told to we must "understand the THEORY that is EMBODIED in the TERMINOLOGY."

Please understand and believe me when I say that I am not poking fun directly at such teachers as this. I am not, but I am poking fun at their stupid, stupid teachings! God inspired the proverb that teaches us to:

"Answer a fool according to a fool," and to "...expose those who contradict" (Titus 1:9, Concordant Literal New Testament).

Can anyone imagine our Lord saying something like this in Matt. 11:24,

"...for Thou hidest these things from the wise and intelligent and Thou dost reveal them to those who come to understand the theory that is embodied in the terminology."? No, I think not. Jesus said

"Thou dost reveal them to babes [Gk: minors]."

Does anyone really think that the average person would ever tolerate a bank statement that used terminology like the above? Would anyone in their right mind sign a contract using terminology like the above? Would anyone accept a doctor's diagnosis using the kind of terminology above? But, as I have often said, "When it comes to religion, anything goes."

The above teacher says that one can come up with a term, then develop a theory based on the term [not on truth, not on law, not on the Scriptures, but based on the "term" you have come up with], and finally, when you come to understand the theory embodied in the term, you will then be able [the author doesn't say whether it is first necessary to say 'abracadabra'] TO FIND THE TRUTH OF THAT THEORY THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRETY OF THE BIBLE!? I say that this author raises intellectual foolishness to a level heretofore unknown in the annals of speculative theology.

Listen dear friends; if the "truth" of the trinity could be found not only "throughout the Bible," but  ANYWHERE in the Bible, it wouldn't have to be called a hypothesis or a theory! It is far past time for such ridiculous teachings to be exposed for all to see.

Just a couple more quotes from the above article: "The CONCEPT [is that something like a "theory" or a "hypothesis," a "speculation" or a "conjecture," a "guess"?] of the Trinity is the very CONCEPT OF THE EXISTENCE OF GOD, and since God reveals himself to his children, it only makes sense [if this "makes sense" I would give a dollar and thirty-five cents to know what "doesn't make sense" to this man] that ALL Christian churches would believe in and DEFEND [I reckon some could be persuaded to go to war over this unscriptural teaching] the DOCTRINE ['doctrine?' isn't it amazing how quickly theologians can turn a "theory" and a "concept" into a "DOCTRINE" ?] of the Trinity."

When a man with a Doctor's degree tries to tell me (well not specifically me, it's just that I was unfortunate enough to bump into his web site) that the very "existence of God" is a "CONCEPT," maybe it is time to log out and disconnect. And to add insult to injury, this "very CONCEPT of the existence of God" is based on his "concept of the Trinity." Let me assure my readers and Dr. DeVries that: TWO "CONCEPTS" DO NOT MADE A "BIBLICAL TRUTH"!!

His Peace and Wisdom to you Brother,

Joe

[javajoe]

Well Craig,

Assuming I had a universal translator handy, I would use an explanation of water.  Water has three states, liquid solid and gas, but in essence its all water - wait, they wouldn't get that, since water on Mars is mostly in the form of ice, and beside we know from science fiction films that water is deadly to Martians - that would probably blow my testimony.  .

I think the truth is, I need to go to the Scripture.  So much of what I have been taught over the years about Scripture is simply untrue, if the trinity doctrine is one of those things, then Scripture will make it clear to me.  I hear the Berean call, to look in scripture to see if these things be so.

ciao

[Craig]

Great JavaJoe!

As I said I'm not picking on you I'm just wanting you to come to the knowledge of the truth.  It is a good exercise

I think you will find if you try and explain the trinity in an easy to understand definition, you will see that it is rather ridiculous mental process.

I think of God like this.  God is a surname like mine is Parsons.  Current members of that name is the Father and Jesus.  They think and act as one they are God.  We are being created into this family and eventually will be sons of God the Father, and He will be all in all and we will be as one with Him and Christ.

Blessings
Craig

[sonofone]

I grew up in the church of god in Christ and later went into the apostolic faith. These two stand at complete opposite ends. One trinity the other oneness. The trinity never made sense to me. God in three persons? Man is triune? body,soul and spirit. Even if this were true,though it is not. That is still not man in three persons.It would be better stated that I am son to my parents father to my child and husband to my wife,yet in all it's just me. God is God period. I could make the claim that I am God. That is to say me Steve Pittman I am God? How is this possible? It is no longer I but Christ on the inside that does the work. As he is God I am God. Jesus was God manifested in flesh . The word, that which has no physical form, became or took on flesh and dwelt among us.John Chapter1 vs 1-14. Since God is spirit his spirit is God,one and the same. God can manifest himself in various ways. Hebrews chapter1 vs 1 God spoke through the prophets in various ways. We see types and shadows throughout the bible all revealing the one God. Not three Gods. Colossians 2 vs 9 For in Christ all the fullness of the deity or godhead lives in bodily form. Colossians 1 vs 19 For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him.

[LittleBear]

Hi Craig,

If I ever meet you, I will NEVER eat one of your brownies no matter how choclaty they are!

Ursula

[Patrick]

Hi Craig,

If I ever meet you, I will NEVER eat one of your brownies no matter how choclaty they are!

Ursula

Could be worse, Ursula.

Eze 4:12  And thou shalt eat it as barley bread baked under the ashes: and thou shalt cover it, in their sight, with the dung that cometh out of a man.

[DuluthGA]

Whoa!  Too funny!

JavaJoe, I'll take a shot at simplicity:

His holy spirit = His power, not another 'personality'.

[LittleBear]

Ha Ha Patrick! 

[sonofone]

I need to vent a little bit so here goes. I think my wife is choosing the church over me. It's not even the church for her. It is more the idea of being involved in church that she finds security in.When we attend church she seems bored out of her mind,she seems disinterested,she will find any reason to get up and get out of service,prayer.I get into the service more than she does and I could take it or leave it. I told her yesterday that I was only going to this church for now because I believe that God wants me to. But I cautioned her that if and when God says I can go that I am gone!To which she responded that she would stay if I decided to leave. This is the first time in our short five years of being married that I sense the separating of us. I feel like we are incompatible. I actually feel unequally yoked to my own wife if that is even possible.The strange thing is I could really care less. I would not hesitate for one second to leave the church we are attending if I thought that God was calling me to do it. I would let the chips fall where they may and Let God pick up the pieces. I love my wife,but she does not even come close to the love I have for God. I would not miss God for her or anyone. So I guess we are both choosing.I just needed to get that out.

[dawnnnny]

Good morning SonOfOne,

What are you both choosing?  It sounds like she is choosing to stay in church, whereas you will probably one day leave.  To me, that certainly doesn't mean your marriage has to end.  If she were giving you an ultimatum (or vice versa) saying its my way or the highway, then yes - that would be problematic.  You love your wife, you committed to your relationship with her and I don't think God will call you out of that commitment just because she decides to stay in a church.  Remember, we are each in this journey alone with God - that includes your wife.  And hopefully her eyes will one day be open.  Until then, just love her, keep praying for her, and respect her wishes to remain where she is at, and hopefully she will respect yours.  I will be praying for both of you!!

[LittleBear]

That was so well said Dawn!

Sonofone, I have to agree with Dawn. Why does this need to be so divisive? It's obvious your wife desires fellowship, and wants the security she feels in belonging to the church. Just love her, and let her know you love her. Let her go to church without making her feel guilty or giving her the sense that this is dividing the two of you. Your freedom and love for Christ and His truth can give you a greater love for her than ever. If she feels that from you, she just may be wooed into your way of thinking. Or not. That needs to be ok on your part though.

I'll be praying for the two of you also,

Ursula

[sonofone]

Thanks for your responses. I guess in my venting I neglected to mention how my wife feels about church. She wants the fantasy of her whole family going to church, she was raised in church, her parents pastor a church. So in her own words, not mine. If I decide to leave church she feels it will have significant ramifications on our marriage, because that is not what she signed on to, or agreed to when we got married. As for me I could accept her going to church. I even have asked her to go to the church of her choosing,which is fine with me,but for her it is less about a personal relationship with God and more about the idea of us all going to church together,and that if I renege on this that I have broken our marital covenant. These are her feelings and her desires,not mine.In other words she is not at all OK with me not attending church with her.My wife has witnessed the whole bungling of the tithe issue by this church which I mention in this post. Her response is why say anything.She wants to question me as to why I question them! The other week the Pastor gets up and talks about how he could have stayed an extra day in Philadelphia and missed Church service for a chance at winning a BMW in a drawing that he could only win if he was present for.I asked my wife how could this be something to be applauded! I thought his calling was to be present to pastor the flock? Her response,he could have used it for a vacation day,so why would it have been wrong for him to stay and win the BMW!! As I said I feel unequally yoked to her in this moment. We are just travelling on two different trains right now.

[LittleBear]

Hi Sonofone.....sorry.....I misunderstood.

And I'm sorry that your wife feels that you not going to church will have serious ramifications on your marriage. This is a hard situation for you to be in. I will pray for you and your wife. This kind of thing seems to happen to many people on this forum.

P.S. Didn't your wife agree to love you and stay with you for better or for worse? There are a lot worse things than one's husband not going to church, and I have a hard time seeing that being a deal breaker, even in the eyes of the church.

Ursula