Friend Confine,
If I may respond to your original question about the content of this forum.
I have been searching the way you seem to be for ten or more years. I have examined many authors and have ended up more confused than enlightened. Yes, I did get some truth, but not enough to satisfy. It seems that everyone retains a little error and will not give it up.
I attended the last conference in Nashville and was favorably impressed with the humility and friendliness of everyone there. The defining attribute of the members and first time visitors at the conference was an obvious attitude of 'like mindedness'. I spoke with thirty different people and I really dug into their personal lives and personal opinions about God, the Bible and their sense of what God is teaching His called out people. In spite of the fact that most had never met before, it was as if we had been life long friends. It was a beautiful, refreshing thing to behold.
My point in writing this is that there is evident among the members a definite sense of being taught by the spirit of God as opposed to having to learn to translate what another person is saying. Whether Ray is speaking on his topic of the day or whether a new friend is relating what they have been learning at home before the conference, what you notice most is that almost everyone listening is nodding their head in agreement. What you hear after the lesson is given is "I've been trying to put that thought into words myself and when I hear it stated by someone else it is so clear, so obvious".
There is just no other way that I can explain what is happening. We are all listening to the same voice or spirit. Sure, Ray and Dennis and Joe and Kat and Arcturus are all individuals with their own personalities, but they are being fed by the same Holy spirit and after you listen face to face for only a few hours it becomes obvious that we all have the same teacher.
I can't recommend any special course of action for you at this point in your growth in grace and knowledge, but I do know that when your mind or our mind is on the same frequency as God's spirit, things just begin to fall into place as if it was natural, as if you had known and understood all of your adult life.
I pray that you will be able to have this experience, maybe at the next conference, and I pray that you will hold onto this opportunity on the forum and continue to share your thoughts and questions with us. Just keep in mind please, that it is Jesus our Lord who is doing the teaching here, we all are just relaying what the Holy spirit has given us.
Please critique my remarks above, I do want to understand how you feel.
indianabob
I find your post refreshing and insightful. I can as a result of what you articulated understand your position. I can remember the last church I was a part of which was about eleven years ago now,called the body of Christ. They believed as most here believe that the organized church is Babylon,and that they were charged to come out of her my people,in fact this was there mantra! They did not teach a literal hell or eternal punishment,they taught about making the bride or the elect and that this was done by overcoming in this life. When I first happened upon these people I felt like you described this overwhelming happiness and joy like we could finish each others sentences and were on one accord.It felt like what you describe now, like heaven.So I can identify with you when you speak as you do,and I am thankful for your post,because it helps me to see where you and some if not most of you are coming from. I don;t think that I will ever again identify,or relate to a church like this again,and personally I don't want to. I would rather do as I am doing now Love God and follow hard after him. I find that for me when I do this I love, more,not less. Like the scripture say how can we say that we love God who we have not seen yet hate our brother who we see daily? I have learned the hard way the answer to this question,and the answer for me was EASILY!! All you have to do is make yourself believe that you Love what and who God loves and vice Versa.That was for me anybody who believed as I believed I loved and vice Versa.I don't want to fall into that pit again,and so I cautiously do not over identify with any person or group only Jesus,and I seek to find the commonground amongst the believers,not what separates us. I choose to remember that none of us knows everything,and that salvation is no contest where the smartest pupils win the prize, there are plenty of Christians who do not intellectually know 1% of the scriptural knowledge many here know but they outdistance us in showing forth the fruit of the spirit or the nature of Jesus. This for me is far more important than the intellectual quest to know everything,and in doing so distance or separate myself from those who have not reached my level of understanding.I don't want that way of life anymore.