THINGS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1.) no matter how hard you try you can't baptize cats.
2.) when your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3.) if your sister or brother hits you, don't hit them back because they always catch the 2nd one.
4.) never ask your 3 yr. old brother to hold a tomato.
5.) you can't trust your dog to watch your food.
6.) don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7.) never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
8.) you can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9.) don't wear polka-dot undies with white shorts.
10.) the best place to be when your sad is grandma / grandpa's lap.
THINGS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1.) raising teenages is like nailing jell-o to a tree.
2.) wrinkles don't hurt.
3.) families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4.) today's mighty oak is yesterday's nut that held its' ground.
5.) laughing is good exercise...like jogging on the inside.
6.) middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
SOME TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
1.) growing up is mandatory, growing old is optional.
2.) forget the health food, i can use all the perservatives i can get.
3.) when you fall down, you might as well see what else you can do while your down there.
4.) it's frustrating when you finally know the answers, but no one asks you the questions.
5.) time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
6.) wisdom may come with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1.) you believe in santa claus.
2.) you don't believe in santa claus.
3.) you are santa claus.
4.) you look like santa claus.
SUCCESS IS:
1.) at age 4 success is...not wetting your pants.
2.) at age 12 success is...having friends.
3.) at age 16 success is...having a driver's license.
4.) at age 35 success is...having money.
5.) at age 50 success is...having money.
6.) at age 70 success is...having a driver's license.
7.) at age 75 success is...having friends.
8.) at age 80 success is...not wetting your pants.
(as the adage goes, once an adult, twice a child).