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what is a sister to do w/ drug addicted brothers? Prayers and advice needed...

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hebrewroots98:
Arc, my family does that same thing...you don't hear from some of them unless it is your bday (MY blood sister did me this way in Sept when she called for my bday...which was very awkward, b/c as you said, you had'nt heard from her all year prior to then...plus she is living in sin with a RETIRED PREACHER ???  (but, you can't tell her that it is sin or that one NEVER RETIRES FROM THE LORDS'WORK!)  I have had similar situations happening with my family too.  I used to religously send cards and gifts to each and every familiy member on their bday  (as well as when I used to celebrate xmas), BUT,  I would be the one to stay in communication with them  So now and lately, I will send them a bday gift and I will get not even an  acknowledgement whatsoever from them, so I am slowly learning that they do not want any part of me, my communicatin and keeping in touch nor of my gifts and my cards anymore.   And now that I see that they want no part of me, then that just is a blessing in disguise b/c their silence toward me anymore makes it much easier for me to walk away than if they were not wanting me to go and I needed to get away from them anyway.  I guess we will only communicate when it is an absolute must anymore (like when someone goes into the hospital or dies .)  I don't mean that to sound harsh, but, there is NO unity of the spirit; infact it is the opposite, there is more friction due to the disunity; therefore I cannot allow myself nor them to try tomake me feel guilty anymore !  such is life; there is a price to pay a lot of times. :)

Deborah-Leigh:
Hi Susan

I enjoyed what you said here quote :  there is more friction due to the disunity I at first read that as there is NO more friction due to the disunity! ;D In my case this is the case! 8)

 Is it not a fact that communications with UN like minded persons brings up strife, dissention, dishonesty, deceit, pretence, assumptions, expectations and the need to  have to wear the mask of social niceties to FIT IN! Oh what a blessing that we have in Christ who says we need to COME OUT, leave behind our carnal attachments to carnal bondages that are indoctrinated into us to keep, idolise and preserve on the alter of hypocrisy! What a relief that God is able to drag some of us out and that we will all get out and be saved from this evil as God Himself has said in His Word and Gospel!

I am only NOW seeing how my own dear mother, who I loved so dearly, was so deceived and passed on her deceptive teachings in order that we (her children ) might survive the cruel world by joining it! It is so liberating and wonderful to now see how blind she really was. This was God's PLAN and wow it is so wonderful to be given repentance to come away from the deceptions she believed in. She was a Catholic. See what I mean :D ;)

I believe all families regardless of religion,  begin with  carnal siblings and parents who are not our heavenly siblings or parents. First the physical you know!  :D  It is such a blessing to realise the difference and be given the privilege of the Spirit of Christ leading to overcome the pull of guilt trips and emotional downers that are present to the carnal trap of belonging to its rules, expectations, demands, etiquette's and assumptions rather than to Christ who says you fools you snakes you hypocrites for you not have a mind intent on promoting what God wills, but WHAT PLEASES MEN, you are not on God's side but that of men. Mark 8 : 33

Repentance.

What a lesson! What a liberating lesson showing our carnal preferences for which I repent and desire to be free even more from! Not by my will or might but only by HIS Spirit :)

Peace to you sister

Arcturus :)

hillsbororiver:

--- Quote from: hebrewroots98 on January 03, 2008, 07:32:39 PM ---
   Of course dh says to just leave them alone, but, if I were so addicted to drugs and had nothing to my name and lived as they are (and have been living for most of their lives), I think I would want someone to talk to and love me (and of course help me to furnish some comforts of life to them.  So, what should I do to show them that I still love them despite their ways ...when it is dangerous to have them around us?    


--- End quote ---

Hi Susan,

Admittedly I do not know much about your particular situation, are your brothers close by you? Do you interact often, who usually initiates contact?

What you said about "I think I would want someone to talk to and love me" is true, to a clear headed person. They are presently not clear headed though, I had a point in my life where drugs and living an "outlaw" existence were my only interests, I definitely did not want any straight "do gooder" telling me anything, I did not want to see the pained expression on a loved one's face as they saw what I was doing, how I was living my life at the time, I could not deal with it at all.

At that point in time I would lie about anything involving my circumstances hoping the topic would just go away and if I got called on one of my pathetic lies I would explode in anger and storm away. They have to come to a point where the lifestyle sickens them, one morning (probably more like one mid afternoon) I woke up, looked in the mirror (literally) and despised what I saw, what a waste of life, what a cockroach. Actually a cockroach served a better purpose than me at that time.

From what I have seen and experienced the only way people stuck in this pit crawl out is when they are motivated internally to crawl out, we can extend a hand to help but unless they are reaching to grab our hand it is an exercise in futility.

I think the advice we give folks who wonder how to spread the message of UR is also applicable in cases like this;

1Pe 3:15  But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:

Being patient and waiting for them to wake up one day and be sick and tired of the whole lifestyle may be all we can do, when they are ready to hear is the time to speak, otherwise all the good advice given will fall on deaf ears, any good intentioned help (such as $$$) will only feed their addiction. I know this from my own experience.

You all are in my prayers,

Joe
   

Bradigans:
 - Matthew 7:16-20 - Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.
 - Galatians 5:19-21 - Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
 - 1 Corinthians 15:33 - Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.

If THE SPIRIT leads, then cut them off.

 - John 15:1-2 - I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman. Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.

Are they at all in THE WORD?

 - Luke 14:33 - So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple.

Be willing to forsake all if it's going to hinder your relationship with Christ. It might be a mom, dad, brother, sister, daughter, son, pastor (Matthew 10:37). You've got to know whether or not something is interfering with your peace.

 - Ephesians 4:30 - And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.

Don't seek expectations of others or to be politically correct with folks even if it means with folks at this forum. Seek Christ first and His will. You won't always be politically correct. Remember they called Him Beelzebub (Matthew 10:25)

hebrewroots98:



Bradigans, yes, the spirit is leading me to cut them off right now.  I really have no other choice in the matter!  I must  protect my child from his uncles (my brothers) who are not protecting their nephew!  I guess the only time that I can help them is if and when they call and ask me to take them to a rehab once again.  (With Daniel not in the vehicle with them.)   I really am not one to care about the politically correct situation b/c I know that doing that will get one in trouble with you know who :o ;)!


Joe, Thank you for sharing your personal experiences.  Yes, they are not clear headed right now.  No, we do not interact b/c they are living  basically one step away from skid row.  I have tried to get them to stay in contact with me, but, they, as you say, do not want others seeing them in this light, nor could they handle seeing from us the love and disappointment on our faces; so they do not call or come around (they live 3 hrs from me).  Only when they hit their lowest rock bottom do they call and ask for money (which we never do give them) and then they ask for a ride to a rehab(which we will do.)  Your council (from experience) is appreciated indeed!

Yes Arcturus, that was the only way that your mom knew and was lead to show her protection and love to you was by showing you the ways of the catholic church.  She did her best! ;) and she loved her best by putting you kids there in that denomination.

Yeah, I guess I never noticed how there are NOT MANY families as a whole unit that have these wonderful truths; I know that the 3 of us here in West Texas are breaking that chain though..just like some of you here on BT's.

Thanks again for the input!

blessings and Shalom,
Susan

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