Romans 5
Peace and Joy
1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Philippians 3:7-9
7But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.
I've learned through much suffering that my faith is in Christ regardless of outward circumstances. I've learned that God is just, faithful, merciful, loving, forgiving, kind, and sovereign. I've learned that he will drag me away from anything that stands between us, which has included home, money, relationships, children, parents, family, friends, false teachings, self sufficiency, self reliance, etc..
You speak of your drug addicted cousin. I also have a son who is an addict. I've been brought to prayer for him many times. I will never forget one night. My son was sober for 3 months and started drinking and became violent. I had to lock him out of the house in the cold and it was raining all night. I tried calling the police to have him picked up to get him out of the cold, but they wouldn't take him. He rang the doorbell all night. I sat in a chair in my kitchen alone in the dark not knowing if my son would live through the night. I remember turning my heater off because I felt too guilty being warm when he was out in the cold. I was crying and suffered so much pain that night that I actually felt something within me die. A part of my heart died that night. I instantly felt peace after that. I thought of how the father must have felt giving his only son for us and had a scripture come to mind.
John 14
6Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him."
I started weeping and realized that a little bit of The Father's heart had been revealed to me that terrible night.
My son lived through the night. I handed him a cup of coffee and a sandwich and had to send him on his way. That was several years ago and there has been much suffering since. My son now has 10 months clean and sober. I do not know what will happen. I do not know if it's in God's plan for my son to live or die, but I do know that God is just, faithful, merciful, loving, forgiving, kind, and sovereign. I also know that there is still much I need to learn and I still have little faith when faced with an unknown future and life and death situations with my son. I have little faith when it comes to watching my grandchildren suffer with daily chronic migraine headaches. I find comfort knowing that God is in charge of all of it.