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Manipulation and strife

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ez2u:
Jackie you don't have to compete with your siblings.  Many games get played in families for many reasons  most are born from fear.  Loving and rejoicing with your mother over the help she is getting from her family is great.  I hope she comes to that place where she knows her family will love and care for her in a duly and reasonable fashion and her needs will be met accordingly as she gets on in growing old.  I think about growing old and in some respects it has to be scary.  People you loved dying all around you, your abilities to provided for your self and general welfare of your self lessening.  You become almost child like in some respects and might totally depend upon your children.  That's gotta be hard.  I hope this helps you  Peggy

joyful1:
:D Hi Jackie!
I've always felt that if sodom vexes your soul....get the ___outta dodge! And sometimes I DO! But if we stay in relationships with manipulators, it helps, at least for me, to be able to see them for what they are: afraid and lonely....in need of love, in need of God's love, perhaps through you?  People that want to control you, really only want to be loved and are afraid that if they don't control you...they'll never get any love from you at all! Sometimes you can take it up close and personal...sometimes you have to "love from a distance."

and one other note that has helped me:  we tend to dispise in others the very thing we hate in ourselves! :) may God have mercy on us all!  :)

have a great day!
Joyce

acomplishedartis:
Hi lee

I am agree with all the responses adove. I think Emotional manipulation is just love from the manipulator to him self and it is good that you are able to see things how they are.

On my case, after traveling for a while and go back temporary to home, I became to be able to see all this so clear, and all we can do is eat our proud, remember that all this is temporal, and love them, but that doesn't mean to give our selves to their sick emotional games, they are more ways to show love than reciprocating fake pretencions and emotions that just exist on one side. I guess is like the repentence writing of ray; we have to look at the hold picture (of why are they doing what are they doing), and dont think that we are better, because we would do the very same thing on their place.

Joyce i like what you said; ' we tend to dispise in others the very thing we hate in ourselves! '

Now is just time for me to try to put attention what do i despise in others...

moises

Jackie Lee:
Thanks everyone I appreciate all your answers and advice.
I am humbled by this as I should be, I have prayed about this God has given me a whole new attitude I am greatful for it.

gmik:
Great thread.

I hadn't spoken to my Dad since last summer.  I was mad at him for excluding me from some family gatherings.

At Christmas he just shows up, never acted like we hadn't spoke in all this time.  I take him into an empty room and just spilled it out.  He didn't think I had wanted to be w/ some of the relatives!  Didn't even know thats why I hadn't called.  Totally clueless.  So I was really madder than ever.  BUT.... I hugged him said thats allright blah blah blah (he is 80).

But now I am wiser and won't expect anything more outta him.  I called him the other nite just to say hi.  Thats how its gonna be.

Relatives can be some of the biggest pains!!! :D

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