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Author Topic: I am tormented  (Read 2901 times)

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I am tormented
« on: February 04, 2008, 08:47:24 PM »

Hi, Mr. Smith,
I have been visiting your site for a while now and I really love devouring all the info, as does my husband. Of course, I could write a novel about how I came to know about your site, and how I was led to believe what you have written is the truth, but I'll keep this short as I realize I am but one of the many who write you.
This is my question. Actually, here is my problem:
I am tormented. I want to be closer to God but when I go to Him, I feel tormented. I feel crushed by sorrow. I lose my appetite. I become scared, and remain scared for days afterward, without rest even in my sleep for I dream of sinful things and wake up distressed. I tried asking the Lord what was happening but then felt even more crushed by sorrow. I  heard nothing, I think, but I just felt so terrible. I tried to fast but felt like I was losing it (my "grip").
My question is this: Why do I feel like this? Is God furious with me? I know you probably don't know how God feels about me, but I wonder if you have any idea of why I feel like this. All I want is to be loved by God, and have a peaceful life. I don't want riches or fame or anything like that, I just want peace. What is wrong here? Part of me says its all in my head. I do have a way of predicting the worst because I feel like its more realistic than predicting the best. But another part of me says not to be like the false prophets in the book of Jeremiah who said "peace, peace" when God said otherwise. I am so bothered. What can I do?
When I first came to God (two years ago, I am 22), I felt so peaceful, so good. Now I feel awful (though better than when I was without Him).
I wrote more than I meant to and I am sorry to take up so much of your time, and, after all this, my question seems ambiguous, even to me. I just want to know why I feel so terrible and scared. Do you think God is trying to tell me something? Or do you think I am a nut? Whatever advice you give, I know it will be based in Scripture,  so I am hopeful for your response. Thank you so much for your time and efforts.
Your friend,

Dear Casey:  No, I don't think you are crazy or going crazy, although you undoubtedly may often feel that way.  Truth is, Casey, many feel like you, but they put on a front and play the great game of "let's pretend I normal and happy."
And yes, you are being told something. You are being told that the flesh is very very weak. Actually Jer. 17:9 does not say that "The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately WICKED."  The Hebrew reads:  "The heart is deceitful above all things and is EXCEEDINGLY WEAK."  We are all human;  we all have a heart;  we're ALL ARE EXCEEDINGLY WEAK.  There, feel better now?  You should, I do.  I'm glad to know that I am not alone in this world. I can now add Casey to my list of like-weak friends.
Okay, here's my advice. The best thing that I have found in life that gives me contentment in my misery, is a CLEAR CLEAN CONSCIENCE.  I am not suggesting that yours isn't, I am merely suggesting that the more you do what you KNOW is the right thing to do, and stop doing the things that you KNOW are the wrong things to do (I mean think, say, go, do, etc.), the more content you will become (even in your misery).  Jesus Himself was "a Man acquainted with SORROW," you know?  The more we obey and the more we pray, the better things becomes (even in our sorrows).  Hope that helps a little.
God be with you,
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