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BT Comedy Cetral
Sorin:
Beloved, your joke was fine. Don't hesitate to post more. And that also applies to the rest of you fine people here. ;)
Believe it or not, this one's actually true:
Three nuns went to a football game and three men got stuck sitting behind them. The men couldn't see very well because of the nun's little nun hats. So they came up with a plan to make them leave.
"I think I'll move to California, there's only 50 Catholics there," said the first man.
"I think I'll move to Washington, there's only 25 Catholics there."
"I think I'll move to Idaho, there's only 10 Catholics there."
Then one of the nuns turned around. "Go to Hell, there are NO Catholics there."
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Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, "What a beautiful night, look at the moon."
The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend. "You're wrong, that's not the moon, that's the sun."
They began to argue when they come upon another drunk. They asked, "Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that's shining. Is it the moon or the sun?"
The third drunk looked at the sky and said, "Sorry, I don't live around here."
lilitalienboi16:
--- Quote from: Beloved on March 15, 2008, 09:00:22 PM ---I think that this is a good joke to start with
Jesus and his disciples were walking around one day, when Jesus said, "The
Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9." The disciples
looked very puzzled, and finally asked Peter, "What on earth does Jesus
mean - the Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9? Peter
said, "Don't worry. It's just another one of his parabolas."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Beloved......Ha some math humor ;D
--- End quote ---
ROFL! "The kingdom of heaven is like unto mc^2 when f(x) does not equal zero." LAWL :D
Sorin:
A guy was in New York on a business trip and decided to head to a local bar for a drink. Standing outside the bar was a nun holding a tin cup. As the man threw a few bucks into her cup, the nun launched into a long tirade about the evils of alcohol. She went on and on about how alcohol was tearing apart the fabric of society and how it was the root of all the city's problems.
Slightly p'd off at having to listen to this, the guy said, "Listen sister, I work hard for my money and sometimes at the end of a long day, I like a drink or two. That doesn't make me a bad person. I have a wife that I idolize and two wonderful kids at home. I provide for my family. I volunteer my time to several local service clubs and I contribute regularly to various charities. Yet you stand here and condemn me just because I drink the occasional glass of scotch!"
The nun was slightly taken aback and replied, "I see your point my son and I apologize if I've offended you, but the alcohol is such a powerful demon that all who consume it are doomed..."
"Look, there you go again," said the man. "How can you make such a sweeping statement? Have you ever even TRIED alcohol?
"Of course not!" gasped the nun. The evil alcohol has never touched my lips."
"Do you really think that one glass of booze can change you from a devout nun to some kind of evil degenerate?" asked the man.
"Well, I really don't know..."
"I'll tell you what, come into the bar with me and I'll buy you a drink. One drink. I'll prove to you that "evil" is not inside the glass, it's inside the person."
"Oh, I could never be seen going into such a den of iniquity; it's out of the question. However, your comment about evil residing in the person rather than in the glass is quite intriguing. I must admit you've aroused a curiosity in me."
"Well, let's go inside and settle this."
"No, my son, I could never enter such a place, but how about this? Take my tin cup with you and fill it with the "scotch" you mentioned. Bring it out to me and I'll try it."
"You're on!" said the guy.
The nun removed all the change from the tin cup and handed it to him. He went into the bar and said to the bartender, "Two scotch on the rocks, and could you put one of them in this tin cup, please?"
The bartender sighed and said, "Is that nun out there again?"
Beloved:
Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church.
The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said quietly, "Good morning, son."
"Good morning, pastor," replied the young man not taking his eyes off the plaque. "Sir, what is this?" Johnny asked.
"Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service," replied the pastor. Soberly, they stood together staring up at the large plaque.
Little Johnny's voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly, "Which one sir, the 8:00 am or the 10:00 service.;?"
Beloved
joyful1:
;D Oh Beloved and Sorin... ahahahah!! Good ones!
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