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Author Topic: Letter Home From The Farm Kid  (Read 1898 times)

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hillsbororiver

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Letter Home From The Farm Kid
« on: April 14, 2008, 09:53:30 PM »

FARM KID

(NOW AT an Army RECRUIT TRAINING center)

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing

Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food,  plus yours,  holds you until noon  when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in  Silver  Lake . I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6' and 130 pounds and he's 6'8' and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,
Alice

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Patrick

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Re: Letter Home From The Farm Kid
« Reply #1 on: April 15, 2008, 01:45:16 AM »

 ;D

I was channel surfing earlier and came upon a documentary about women in the Civil War; they dressed up as men and joined so they could be close to their husbands or boyfriends.
Some were awarded medals and some were never found out by the military; some had babies and were found out.
The military charged some with prostitution when caught. I decide to see what the name of this show was, clicked the info button; Sex in the Civil War. ::)
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joyful1

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Re: Letter Home From The Farm Kid
« Reply #2 on: April 16, 2008, 04:45:33 AM »

FARM KID! ahahahaha! good one Joe! ;D
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lorrie

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Re: Letter Home From The Farm Kid
« Reply #3 on: April 16, 2008, 01:34:13 PM »

OohThat is soo funny! My brother who is in the army would get a kick out of this letter! Lorrie
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Deborah-Leigh

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Re: Letter Home From The Farm Kid
« Reply #4 on: April 16, 2008, 03:49:44 PM »

That was worth sharing.  :D And we think we've got life rough.....ha! :D ;D
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Sue Creamer

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Re: Letter Home From The Farm Kid
« Reply #5 on: April 17, 2008, 09:28:55 AM »

Hi Joe,

I have to admit I wasn't expecting the ending...!  Kinda reminds me of Ellie Mae Clampett from the old TV
series "The Beverly Hillbillies"...!!   Very good one... ha ha ha
Sue


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hillsbororiver

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Re: Letter Home From The Farm Kid
« Reply #6 on: April 19, 2008, 04:33:16 PM »

Glad you folks got a kick out of this!

Sue Ann, I know what you mean, I was enjoying the story all the way through but the real kick was seeing it signed off by "Alice" rather than an Alex or Alfred.

Peace,

Joe 
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