Hello, Everyone!!!!
Just thought you all would enjoy this little bit of humor!!!!!
DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS
(or the uncertainty of the English language)
A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad,
where did my intelligence come from?" The father replied.
"Well son, you must have got it from your mother, 'cause I
still have mine."
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"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very
carefully," the divorce Court Judge said, "And I've
decided to give your wife $775 a week," "That's very fair,
your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then
I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
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--
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the
Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, "I
don't like the looks of your wife at all."
"Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great
cook and really good with the kids".
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--
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can
remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40
years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell
me the exact words that were used to put the curse on
you". The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you
man and wife."
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Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder.
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
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--
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell
me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New
York City?" The agent replies, "Just a minute.." "Thank
you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
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--
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder
of Juan Gonzalez.
"How was he killed?" asked one detective. "With a golf
gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun?! What is a
golf gun?" "I don't know. But it sure made a hole in
Juan."
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Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion." Joe:
"Really?" Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe
in hell."
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--
A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical
Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling. "I'm O.K.
but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in
surgery," he answered. "What did he say," asked the nurse.
"OOPS"
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--
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and
I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least
ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered
buying a bathing suit, so sought my husband's advice.
"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or
an all-in-one?" "Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd
never get it all in one." He's still in intensive care.