Hi M.G.,
I'm still praying for you and know that the Lord will bring you through this difficult trial.
I personally know that hopeless feeling when things seem to be going from bad to worse in our lives. Yet, at the same time, knowing that God is in control and already knows the end from the beginning. We just don't know the end result, which is frightening at times.
The last year of my life has been an extremely humbling and trying time for me. At those times when I didn't feel like praying, I would just cry out for mercy. I know what it feels like to be in a "spiritual" prison, a condition in which only the Lord can release you from. No matter how hard I tried to wiggle my way out, it just didn't happen until God was ready to set me free. I'm now coming out on the other side of that experience, and I will tell you, I am stronger now (spiritually) than ever before.
I know you know all of these scriptures, but these are a few that I meditate on during hard times:
Heb. 5:8 - "Although He was a son, he learned obedience through what he suffered."
1Peter 4:12-13 - "Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you."
Romans 8:35,37 - "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? vs. 37 - No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loves us."
Always remember, you are not alone!
René