Hmm if you are like me then you are still carnal and not completely spiritual yet. Deep wounds can take time to heal.
A while ago I got into an argument with someone close to me and the person said some really terrible things to me (in front of many people) that really angered me. I didn't let it out instead I let it seethe inside me. The person never apologized and I just kind of avoided the individual. The bitterness really ate me up. Well I was very angry for a long time but after months of time I was able to let it go and we are on good terms now.
I think these matters take time and the Spirit of God's grace to overcome.
Eph 6
30And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
31Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
32And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
Perhaps there are some of Ray's emails dealing with the topic.
PS I know what you mean about experiencing difficulties after the decision to forgive. It is very difficult to forgive from the heart and wounds can take time to heal.