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Christmas

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EKnight:
Hello All,

This subject is not for debate.  I am only writing because I don't know how to handle my situation.

Before BT, Christmas was always a big deal for my kids and for my husband's family and for myself when I was young. 

Since marrying, it has become a thorn in my side.  For years I have resented having to spend additional monies on my husband's brothers and sisters and in-laws.  Most have more money than us and Christmas became nothing but an expense I didn't need.  Therefore, no matter how hard I attempted to make Christmas about the birth of Christ, it always got lost in the hustle, bustle and worry of finding and buying gifts.  So it's pretty much always been a headache for me.  I find no joy in it at all. 

My husband's family has always had a party Christmas eve and we have always attended and exchanged gifts with them.  This year it poses a big problem because my husband has to work very early Christmas day and his family's party is about an hour and a half away which adds up to three hours travel time Christmas eve and will result in my husband getting about two or three hours sleep and having to be awake for 16 hours (including travel to and from work).  The drive to work is long and I am worried about him driving under the influence of sleep deprivation.  So, I don't want to go to the Christmas eve gathering for that reason and others.  He insists he can do it, I know he is just being a martyr in order to keep peace with his family. But it is going to cause a riff between the two of us. It is already a bone of contention.

In addition to the in-law problem, I now have a problem with my own husband and kids.  They are calling me the grinch because I have been telling (warning) them that this Christmas is not going to be like the past.  I explained that they are in need of nothing and that I am not spending tons of money on expensive electronics or clothes they don't need.  I tried to get them to be receptive to making a charitable donation instead.  They are clearly of the flesh (including my husband) and will not see things my way (or God's way). 

So my problem is, how can I expect everyone in my life to suddenly take on my newly attained beliefs and adopt practices foreign to them just because my heart has been turned around??  The answer is, I can't expect them to feel differently but how am I supposed to handle this?  How can I reconcile my views to their expectations of Christmas.  After all, I am the one who took care of and created these pagan family traditions. 

It's only October and the holiday is not yet upon me but is already causing me grief.  I wish I were a bear who could sleep through the whole thing and wake up in the spring.

Whatever encouraging thoughts you guys can share would be appreciated but please don't take this topic out of context and turn it into a debate about celebrating Christmas and all of the negative connotations that go with it.

Thanks,

Eileen

KristaD:
Eileen I've suffered with the same kind of problems over this. I can't offer much help because my solution has always been "the heck with your feelings I don't do christmas anymore" not a very Christian attitude :-\. All I can say is make sure you are thinking of others and handling them with love while not forsaking your God and what He tells you is right. Be an example to your family, maybe spend christmas serving food at a shelter, I don't think anyone can call you a grinch for that. Just show them how you have changed and how that change is for the better, God will handle the rest. Praying for strength and wisdom for you in this situation.

Dennis Vogel:
All the adults in my life know I do not exchange gifts. But I do get the grand kids stuff for Christmas.

IMO, if other's in the house want a tree, let them get it. No big deal. It's not like they are intentionally celebrating a pagan holiday.

I agree about excessive spending, but let them have as much fun as you can afford (within reason).

Just try not to get legalistic about this. There are much more important issues.

Col 2:16  Let no man therefore judge you in meat, or in drink, or in respect of an holyday, or of the new moon, or of the sabbath days:

EKnight:
Thanks Dennis and Krista.

I am in the process of compiling a list of all we have. Like everyone has a TV in their room, their own laptop plus we have a desktop, xbox, wii, gamecube, playstation, a 42 inch flatscreen HD TV, more clothes than dresser space, three good cars, food, a home and each other and good health.  Good Lord, what more could they need or want???!!  Then I am contrasting our lives with those of Darfur and the eastern Congo where genocide and rape are prevalent.  If after all that, they still insist that we can't scale down Christmas, I will give them each a check for the same amount payable to no one.   Then they can decide to make it out to themselves or to a charity.  Is that too harsh?  Manipulative? Controlling?  :-\

What does legalistic mean?  ???

Eileen

Dennis Vogel:
Wrong. Too harsh, manipulative, and controlling.

1Co 7:12  But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.

You should not force your beliefs on your family. That will only turn them off to your beliefs.

Don't make your children appear abnormal to their piers. Pier pressure is extremely powerful. Your children will grow up resenting you.

I came out of the Worldwide Church of God. They were very legalistic. So are the JW's, SDA'st, and most of all, the church. Full of rules and law's that oppress.

We are under a different, higher standard, called love.

Your husband is the head of the house. Give him a reasonable check and let him decide what to do with it.

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