Hi everybody,
I was not sure where to post this, so I might as well write it here.
The purpose of this post is to beg for forgiveness first and foremost from Marques, and to everybody in this forum.
Please forgive me if I offended or disturbed anyone!
I humbly regret my sarcasm. [I did't even know that I can be so sarcastic.]
As usual, I bit into more than I can chew, and I chocked on it!
The beast is coming out!!
After I read the post of Joe on Where are they now? thread, I realized,
that after all, I was invited into your house and I got on the floor and throw a fit!
And since I don't agree with some people approach, but after all this is your house,
I must humbly take my leave.
I must mention that although I regret the words that I said, I
still stand behind the principle.
I was not offended about what went on, but [since I had different expectations] I was hurt.
Although I will not list all the should haves that I should have done before I joined this forum,
I must say that at least I should have spend some time reading the posts.
As I posted on "help with 1Cor.7:13", I live with a conrolling and unbelieving husband.
To top it all, he is totally uncapable of extending any love, compassion, much less mercy.
One day this thought came to my mind:
" He cannot give you what he does not have"
If you don't have it, how can you give it??
Only when you have it,then you can give it!
Only a free man can set another free or "indeed free".
Only Jesus can give Salvation because is his, he possess it and
He can give it to whosoever He pleases.
Since then, I apply this logic almost everytime I meet with my husband's
lack of love. Sometimes I forget, and peace comes when I am reminded of it.
Furthermore, as, I thought about this issue, [me throwing a fit thing],
I was reminded of scripture that I studied a while ago:
It is in Rom:2:1, and it goes like this:
" Therefore, you are inexcusable, O man, whosoever you are
that judges: for wherein you judge another, YOU CONDEMN
YOURSELF; for you who judge DO THE SAME THINGS."
This scripture bugged me for a long time.
So, I was set to find its match.
I found the match in the book of Prov.27:19:
"As in water FACE answers to FACE, so the HEART OF MAN TO MAN."
So, Marques, I am guilty of judging you.
And that because what I saw in you [and others in this forum] is the reflection
of the condition of my heart.
And now, that I least see the ugliness of the beast within, I sorrow with a godly sorrow,
and I pray to my God to find me innocent of this matter.
In the mean time, I humble myself in front of you all and I only pray that you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
I can only hope that you can see that I do all this with a sincere heart,
but I concluded in my heart that I will speak the truth all all cost.
I have warred the mask of fakiness [is there such word?] for a long time,
and as Christ is working in me, I will live to please God, and not men.
For if I please man, I don't please God. And He alone I am set to please.
I thank my Lord for bringing me to the truth through Mr. Ray's teaching,
and I am equally grateful for all of you.
You have been so nice to a stupid girl like me.
And your goodness truly brought me to repentance.
I had printed almost all Ray's teaching [it took a lot of ink], and I will continue to study
the material.
What a wonderful blessing!!
I the first months after I was baptized into the Body of Christ and into His death [June 16,2006],
I was dragged to this scripture in 1John2:27:
"But the anointing which you have received from Him abides
in you, and you don't need ANY MAN TEACH YOU: but as the
same anointing TEACHES YOU OF ALL THINGS, and is truth, and is no lie,
and even as it has taught you, you shall abide in Him."
It was not rhema to me at the time, but now is.
I knew some things in Ray's teaching way before, and they were floatind somewhere in
my spirit, until, when I started to reed his writings it become a confirmation.
Like all of us, I must keep myself from idols, and by my very beastly nature I can very easily worship
teachers, people, forums, and everything else. And although this decision to leave the forum was not easy,
Christ is make me let go of everything is not of Him, even if they speak the truth.
So, I will consider this forum and my experience here, more like an Inn in my journey [Ray's Inn],
and venture to continue, as comfy as it is, to pick up my cross and follow Christ.
He alone will teach me all things, and like any recipe, the best are the one who you create yourself.
Finally, my brothers and sisters,
if truly Christ is in controll of all things [and He is], and if everything is happening
according to His will, than, we all have many things to learn from this experience!!!
He that has ears to hear, let him hear!!
Thank you again and I hope that you
can extend some mercy to a sister.
Grace, peace and love from the Lord Jesus Christ.
Yours truly,
Ariel