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[aqrinc]

Got this from a friend who thought a good laugh is healthy; so please read and laugh.
I am just happy i don't have to answer such difficult questions even now. . Reminds
me of the old readers digest: Laughter is the best medicine. Plus with all the stuff
from longhorn's animals and noise from musicman's screeching students.

george.

children's science exam answers
 
If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers (they deserve some credit for originality and innovation)

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean? (I do love this one...)
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian Section."
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.
 
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

[Ninny]

Ha! I don't think I want to get old (too late!) But man, I don't want to get intercontinental!!
That is just scary!!
Kathy

[child in the making]

Thanks for passing on the medicine George.
Be sure to thank your friend too.
Out of the mouth of babes.  That was some gooood medicine.
varicose(very close) Ha Ha

Thanks again

dd

[OBrenda]

 
Brenda

[joyful1]

  AHAHAHA!! cute, George! More, more!!
Joyce

[aqrinc]

Hi Joyce,

You are back, welcome i missed you. Hope the hibernation was good for the soul.

george.

AHAHAHA!! cute, George! More, more!!
Joyce

[Beloved]

I have a ton of these..if I can find them

here are two I can remember

      My artilliary in my heart  are clogged


      I find myself on the horns of a enema


Here is a good poem written by late Tom Armstrong of Nasville

Two Sentences in One

 We are given Life at Birth and then after serving our time....Death

Beloved

[aqrinc]

Beloved,

Thanks for that,

Horns of an enema brought longhorn to mind right away.

george.

[Ninny]

ahahaha! "horns" of an enema!!   Oh yeah, Longhorn can definitely relate to that!! Musicman knows about "horns", too! Oh My Gosh!! I can hear them now! Longhorns last post was about that very thing!
Beloved you may have opened Pandora's box!!
Kathy

[Beloved]

Why is there so much humor about that end of the body, horns of enama   

it reminds me of a story where the different parts of the body made fun of the anal sphinter and argued about how more prestigious and important they were,

The heart said I am important because I send and recieve everything to all of you , the stomach said I digest everything for all of you,  the hand said I make things and move things, the feet said I move the body from one place to another , they all laughed and chuckled that all the spinchter did was pass gas and poop

well ...the sphincter was so hurt he rolled himself in to a tight ball in shame and .....in time...... every part of the body was in agony and crying and began begging him to forgive them and thanking him for all that he does.   

Even Jesus had to correct the public ....

(Mat 15:17)  Do not ye yet understand, that whatsoever entereth in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast out into the draught?

(Mat 15:18)  But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.

(Mat 15:19)  For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:

beloved

[cjwood]

Beloved,

Thanks for that,

Horns of an enema brought longhorn to mind right away.

george.

ok george, you took the words right out of my mouth. one cannot say the word enema without thinking about dear ole longhorn. our dear ole rootin tootin longhorn...


claudia

[joyful1]

thanks George! good to see you guys!    hibernation is still in progress: with wind chill, I think its going to 40 below tonight! yikes!