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Author Topic: Late For School  (Read 1231 times)

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Late For School
« on: January 25, 2009, 10:40:42 AM »

"Late again," the third-grade teacher said to little Sammy. "It ain't my fault

this time, Miss Crabtree. You can blame this'un on my Daddy. The reason

I'm three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!" Now, Miss Crabtree had

taught grammar school for thirty-some-odd years. Despite her mounting

fears, she asked little Sammy what he meant by that. Full of grins and mischief,

and in the flower of his youth, little Sammy and trouble were old friends, but

always told her the truth. "You see, Miss Crabtree, out at the ranch we got

this here low down coyote. The last few nights, he done ate six hens and killed

Ma's best milk goat. Last night, when Daddy heard a noise out in the chicken

pen, he grabbed his shot gun and said to Ma,

"That coyote's back again, I'm a gonna git him!'' "Stay back, he whispered to all

us kids!" "He was naked as a jaybird, no boots, no pants, no shirt! To the hen

house he crawled, just like an injun on the snoop. Then, he stuck that double

barreled 12 gauge shot gun through the window of the coop." "As he started

into the darkness, with coyotes on his mind, our old hound dog, Zeke, had

done woke up and comes sneaking' up behind Daddy. Then, as we all

looked on, plumb helpless, old Zeke stuck his cold nose in Daddy's crack!"

"Miss Crabtree, we all been cleanin' chickens since three o'clock this mornin'!"---


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Re: Late For School
« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2009, 12:10:16 PM »


Remind me of a couple of stories.

1. My mom and stepdad (at the time) had a fridge outside, stuff started disappearing. My stepday wired a light to come on in the bedroom when the fridge door opened. One night the light comes on, he jumps out of bed wearing only his drawers and runs outside to see one of the neighbors walking down the sidewalk with a grocery bag. When she saw him, she dropped the bag, ran into her house , called the police and said there was a man outside in his underware.

2. A friend of mine, and neighbor, owned a convenient store in a mobile home park and his trailer was about 50 yards away from the store; one night someone threw a rock through the front door, the alarm went off, he jumps out of bed (in his drawers), grabs his gun, and takes off to see what's going on. The culprits had taken off by this time and the neighbors saw him running around in his drawers. I heard the alarm, but took time to put on my shoes and shorts; when I got to the store, his wife was the only one at the store. I asked her, where's A.J., he went back home to put some clothes on. :o  ;D
The sheriff showed up a few minutes later asking about someone in their underware, carrying a weapon.
This same friend and I had several car chases when people would steal gasoline (back when you could still pump gas before you paid) and we were the ones stopped by police and questioned. 


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Re: Late For School
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2009, 09:05:47 PM »

Those were funny Patrick.  ;D

Thanks for sharing.

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