Future customers:
I have gotten many complaints the last couple of days about my pet resurrection business. People complain, waahhh, my pet smells bad now. Boooohooooo, my cat's leg fell off when it was walking around. Sob sob, the worms and buzzards feed on my boxer when it goes outside for a dump of the crypt.
Folks!! These are dead animals. I'm not god!! I only say they're alive because they are . . . . . .well. . . . .animated n stuff. They have no pulse. Their parts are stiff and totally unflexable (conducive for snapping off). I'm sorry, but I can't do anything about the smell of death they will have for time immortal. However, I am willing to let you bring your special furball of joy back to be reburied if it looses parts or has chunks eaten out of it by nature's scavengers (those are animals that through evolution decided, hey, I like the taste of death). I do require a low risk fee for you to do this however. This is because your pets probably won't go down voluntarily while they are still alive and possessed by Satan. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .excuse me, alive and full of joy. This could be a danger to me if they're really p'd and come hounding me in my quaint living space. And please, I don't want those walking corpses near me. Sooooooo, let me know when you're gonna do it so I'll be in another zip code. Just leave the check in my mail box. We're on the honor system. This means that if you don't pay up, I'll just rebury that first grade teacher you had and hated so much, in my cemetery. Once she is resurrected, I'll just give her your address.
Musicman's Pet Cemetery is a ministrey of love and wants you to experience that love for the remainder of your years.