Well, I am probably not the best person to try to answer this, but I will try to an extent, God and Christ permitting.
I have been reading at Mr. Ray's Bible Truths site and the Is, Was and Will Be site and on this forum and it all makes sense.
God wouldn't realy be the all-powerful and all-encompassing God unless He actually was. He's in charge and I can see that scripture proves that.
I am very glad that everyone is included in this plan.
My question is how do you know that you are called? How do you know if you are chosen? What is my part in it? What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to feel?
If at some point, you feel the need to follow Christ, then you are "called". I cannot tell you your part, only God and Christ can tell you that. As far as what you are supposed to do, well I'm even still trying to figure that out for myself. I have a broad idea, but I lack specifics, and I think it's for a reason really. If you desire Christ, follow where he leads you. Any further than that and I would have to talk with you much more. Keep in mind, I"m just as questioning as you are but still digging in the fields trying to find that treasure...and it's not even because I want to find "treasure" oddly enough. For me it's more or less because he dug for me, so because I love him I dig for him. As far as what you are supposed to feel, I can't tell you that either. The Spirit will make you feel, or not feel what is willed by God. For me, I feel both extreme happiness, and at the same time extreme sadness/remorse. I feel the sadness/remorse because of the happiness, because I don't deserve it. I've screwed up innumerable times, lied, cheated, commited adultery, the list goes on and on (excluding murder, thank Christ). I still screw up even now...but I'm trying as best I can. It's not easy though...it hurts badly. I can't help but to think of everthing I've done to hurt others, Christ included most of all. The only times I smile really are when He shines down on me and lets me feel some warmth, which thank Him are not so sparsely. Yes, he scourges every sone he receives, but He does keep in mind what whe are capable of dealing with and will give us relief when needed
Really, I'm not even sure if He looks at me as a Son. I keep pushing, and digging, and trying and crying anyway though. How else could I know? I literally AM the prodigal son.
And I've got to be honest, there a lot of people I don't love or even like?
How do I change this? Do I have a part in this?
You only have a part in it if you understand that God is in full control (which sound retarded, but you have to understand that rather than "God is my Co-pilot, he is actually the Pilot and you're the passenger. Yes it's hard to accept, but I tell you that once you come to accept this, it's a load off of your shoulders). You have to let go of your "ego" and let Christ take over. Your flesh by nature will not allow you to not hate, or be angry with. You alone cannot help that. If you wish to be better, then you have to give up your ego (the "you) and instead finally let Christ take over and live in you. Remember...
Mat 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and
ye shall find rest unto your souls.
m
Mat 11:30 For
my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.Gal 5:1 Stand fast therefore
in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.
[/quote]
I am in awe of God's creation, Christ sacrifice but I've never really felt Him personally if that makes sense....
I understand Him in the head but not the heart.
What do I need to do? ....and what do I need to feel?
A lot of questions I know but any thoughts or direction will be greatly appreciated.
Well I can't tell you Jack, what "you" need to feel. I wish I could =/. I can tell you what I have felt though..which would require another thread, but I'll try to keep it short here for brevity's sake. If you want to hear more, let me know via PM and I'll gladly tell you. Although there are others here more qualified in spirit as of yet to be more helpful overall I think, at least you could know that you're not alone in asking questions...or better yet tryign to find the truth that can only be given, not just happened upon. You can search that field for all time and never find anything, unless it is given to you to find something.
I keep searching and finding pebbles. Little bits at a time. I treasure those pebbles though, becuase I know many won't even find that. For all you and I know, you may acutally find BOULDERS. Even if you do find those boulders though, always, always, always, keep in the Spirit. Be wary of all of God's warnings, and promises. The narrow way is befraught with thorny paths, fire, and
God's own word. .
Honestly, I can say that physically speaking,and this means literally EVERYTHING physical, it sucks...badly. My biggest problem is lust. I keep pushing and keep trying and keep going on, and keep carrying the burden and I get so much from it , but every time I eventually fall short. Of course I repent, but I still burn. You know though (and this may have something to do with my overactive artist's imagnination :wink: ), even as I hurt, I can still see Him smiling at me as if it will be all over eventually and it will all be ok O_o. I can almost feel him stroking my hair to comfort me. He says "Hold on, and keep faithful little brother".
At one point I see Him covered in stripes and blood in my place, and in the next holding me when I can't walk alone anymore. That makes all the difference.*edit* Uhh, I forgot to add: Read both Mike and Ray's sites. Keep in mind while reading that both are only men, although maybe closer to Christ than you are. In that case, keep Christ first and foremost. Both Mike and Ray are excellent teachers to help you understand how to being in the spirit, and the truths of the spirit, and they will both also tell you to not accept them as the final authority. Always "test the spirits". Read their essays and gain a general understanding. Pray and ask God to give you understanding as to his word, according to his will. Then read his word (it's probably best to start with the NT, and then OT, but I started and Genesis again and forward. I'm thinking it might be wise to read the entire thing backwards actually, but I don't really know yet). Either way, ask for it in Christs's name, and it will be given to you. Maybe not how you wanted it, or expected it. And it might hurt. But remember, you asked for it. Are you willing to face that? I was willing, but not prepared. Read, read, read, be patient, be patient, be patient...not in ignorance, but in God's wisdom.
Maaaaaaaaaaan, I just ran off at the mouth