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Author Topic: Kids  (Read 1871 times)

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Vangie

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Kids
« on: April 30, 2009, 01:08:26 PM »

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.


The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'


A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'
A little fellow shouted,
'Cause your feet ain't empty.'

« Last Edit: April 30, 2009, 01:10:11 PM by Vangie »
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cjwood

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Re: Kids
« Reply #1 on: April 30, 2009, 06:23:17 PM »

sounds like some of musicman's students  :o  definitely sounds like something a middle school student would say.

claudia
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musicman

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Re: Kids
« Reply #2 on: April 30, 2009, 08:25:10 PM »

Actually, I do elementary.  Those kids r a trip.  The other day I had a kid making ugly faces to other students.  I said to the chap, you know, when I was your age I was making ugly faces and my teacher said "Little Music, if you keep making ugly faces, one day the ugly face will stick to you and never go away".  Before I could complete what I had to say, the little #&%# responded with:





"Well Mr. Musicman, you were warned".
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Ninny

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Re: Kids
« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2009, 08:43:59 PM »

Children are SO cruel!! My grandsons sometimes they repeat what their parents say...MM maybe your students have been listening in to their parents' conversations!! :o Rude little brats, aren't they! hehe!
Wait.. I just thought of something that proves my point about repeating what they hear at home...

Back in the day I used to teach Sabbath School (when I was an SDA). One Saturday morning we were gathering for our class and I asked if anyone had a prayer request. The pastor's little 7 year old boy raised his hand and said, "Pray for my mommy and daddy, they fight ALL the time!!" Hahaha! Many years later I talked to the pastor's wife on the phone, and they were surprised that my husband and I were still married!!!  :o  I wonder what my kids said when I wasn't in the room! ;D
Shocking!! ::)
Kathy :-X
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EKnight

  • Guest
Re: Kids
« Reply #4 on: April 30, 2009, 09:41:31 PM »

Very funny stuff Vangie.. ;D ;D ;D ;D

Eileen
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