It could go without saying what Ray's site has meant or means to many of 'us', but I feel it apt to share what it has meant to me and my wife and our 3 children in the light of Ray's illness.
I was a pretty good heathen, I'm not perfect now either. I stole from my family, robbed from shops, vandalised property, caused people bodily harm with my fists and weapons, slept around, used drugs, drank till drunk,insulted my parents and terrorised peole with violence as a debt collector, all of which I no longer do praise God and all of which I am fully ASHAMED of before God and men.
Well..One day I went to a church, taken by my 'born again' older brother Keith who was a accomplished guitarist and was now in the church worship group, his past was way more lurid than mine, but I had noticed the dramatic change in him. I was a rock & Jazz drummer and the worship teams drummer had left a year earlier and the chair was still vacant. It was a Pentacostal church, tongues and all,lol, and I was skeptical but felt it was a good place as my brother had changed and was loving attending. It wasn't long before I was the church drummer in the worship team, baptised in water, born again, and singing my socks of.
Little did I know that one of the worship team singers would be the girl of my dreams. Heck little did I know that she would be my lake of fire on earth,lol. I married Helen and we rose over the next 10yrs to be bible study group leaders, youth leaders, outreach leader, and of course worship leaders with our musical abilities. Then one day I was awoken from my sleep with a dream, a prophesy. I was raught with fear, sweating, nothing like this had ever happened to me before it was about 4am on Sunday morning. I tried to shrug the dream of but 3 more times I was awoken and in the end at 6am I went to my gym built off the side of my house and took my bible to pray. I was there till 9am.
I knew that this word was for the congregation and that it wasn't going to be a good one, it still wasn't clear exactly what it was but it sat like a large granite stone in my stomach, I felt increasingly sick. Anyway 10am came and we went to church even though I tried not to go but my wife forced me to go, I kept telling her that something was wrong and that I knew I was going to do something but she wouldn't have it and just said let God be God.
So the meeting began, I could hardly play, I was shaking, I dropped my sticks a couple of times. Then the time of the congregation to praise and speak aloud came just after the worship as it was done every Sunday morning. As people began to speak and read out of the bible in turn then suddenly it hit me, I shot to my feet and rivers of words condeming the Church (all churches) came flooding out of my mouth. I was shouting so loud I could feel my temples bursting, it was over powering me. When I had finished I fell to my knees exhausted and sicker than ever pouring with sweat, it was as if I been is a violent fight like in my past but a 100 times worse. bY THE TIME THE pASTOR HAD REALISED WHAT WAS HAPPENING AND TRIED DESPERATELY TO GET ME TO SHUT UP BY PASSING ME THE BREAD AND WINE, it was over. The room was in a deathly huss untill a minute later a freind of mine fell to his knees and prophesised something confirming my words.
After that day, the church hierarchy tried to smooth things over, but you can't smooth over God's words. I began to ask questions and to question Orthodoxy. My wife was distraught, she had attended the church for 15yrs, it was her life, and we were now having to contemplate leaving as we were increasingly being ostrasized by our supposed fellow congregation mambers and supposed christian friends and brothers and sisters.
One day I just could no longer believe in a God who would send His wayward children to Hell, after all few were more wayward than me and my brother, why should we get saved and not Hitler? So I went to my computer and typed in the Lake of fire and lo and behold Ray's site popped up "Bible Truths". How apt I thought and suddenly I was gripped in page after page of Ray's explinations, false doctrine after false doctrine, was brought to light. I spent a whole week sat infront of my PC, NO WORK, NO SOCIALISING, NO CHURCH,just a whole week with sandwiches infront of my PC reading Ray's teachings. My head fell off! I had only ever before that moment beeen able to look at a PC screen for about 5mins without going dizzy, but for hours and hours and hours I could look at Bible truths. My wife and I then had the biggest argument that we have ever had over 'Freewill doctrine'. We nearly seperated it was that serious. I banged on at her relentlessly as if possessed that freewill was a false doctrine and new light seemed to be gushing into my mind everytime I read one of Ray's teachings and then followed them up in my KJV bible which very soon became a CLNT & an Emphatic Diaglott.
To my releif Helen finally had an epiphany on freewill, it was like a real baptism in fire, we had finlly realised God truly was soverign. I knew what God wanted me to do now, there was no choice, I went into the church one night with my set of keys and packed up my beloved drum kit and left the keys through the letter box. The pastor flew round my house the next day to yet again do a damage control mission but it was too late, to my surprise and the pastors my wife put him right on scripture and read from Jeremiah to him. That wasn't the last of the accusations and defamations that theat church tried to stir in order to cover their shortcomings, but all the time a still small voice inside of me was saying, "Be quite, as my Son was before his accusers."
Today I couldn't be happier in my relationship with Christ or evermore grateful for what he has done, is doing and will do. I still have health problems myself and I can somewhat empathise with Ray's plight. I am truly greatful to Ray and he has been mightily used by God, and trust me that is all the honour any man or woman could hope for in life to be a worthy vessel unto God's grand plan.
If I was still a marine I would salute Ray, but I'm not I'm a soldier for the TRUE gospel of Christ and so I will continue to pray for Ray's recovery, but I will also end my prayer's as I always do, "BUT NOT MY WILL BUT YOUR WILL BE DONE FATHER, AMEN."
GOD BLESS US, AND CORRECT US ALL, WE NEED IT.
May God continue to bless and use Ray to establish His kingdom and other's like him. May his family be blessed with the strenght to support Ray in this troubled time and may Ray be blessed with more insightful papers.
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Topic: Ray's Current Condition - May 13th, 2009 (Read 21149 times)