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Helping others who will not help themselves

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space.ace.jase:
Hi all,

I just wanted to get some opinions and experience from others about helping the people you care about (family, friends etc.) In my case I'm trying to help one of my family members overcome something that has kept them captive for most of their life (depression and anxiety) but I'm not having much luck. I myself have overcome what they are experiencing (via pills and therapy) and it has changed my life forever; I know how horrible and soul sucking it is but why is it that some people wont help themselves even when I'm trying so hard to encourage them! I know that God is telling me "in my time, not yours" but it's so difficult to see someone suffering with this where there is a lot of help out there to be free from it.

Sometimes I get so angry at God's plans; I just want to see the people I love happy. Anyone else been through this (be it drugs, gambling, depression etc.)

Thanks guys.  :(

Roy Martin:
Hello Space.Ace.Jase
Negative thoughts and perception are what causes the chemical imbalance that leads to depression.
 Im going to speak from triple x experience, Ok?
 Something happens or didn't happen in a persons life that starts the negative thinking which escalates into self pity. I'm talking about a pitiful pity party. Its pure and simple carnal consequences.
 You can not help someone depressed by showing them sympathy or compassion. Their self pity feeds on it.
I know I'm sounding harsh, but that's not what I'm being.
 There is lots of information out there about depression and a lot of opinions, but the answer is in the bible, and in Rays teachings about influenced choices.
  My reply is nothing more than opinion based on experience.
The best help you can be to someone who you think might not want help, but they do, even if they dont know it, is to be kind but firm in telling them to quit being so pitiful and self centered. Let them know you dont feel sorry for them. Give examples of others hardships. Ask them if they love those that love him or her. If so then stop being so pitiful and get over the pity party and consider those that love you.
  When they start their pity party talk, tell them you don't want to hear it. These kind of comments will probably make the person mad, but that's OK, in fact its good that they get mad or hurt. When they start to see that its not about them anymore, they will start to look at themselves. Its like the spoiled child pitching a fit to have its way. Don't give in to their snare. Always let the person know you love him or her but your not going to tolerate their depression and self pity. Everyone in the family has to be with you on this. No drugs or counseling can fix depression, only numb it or fuel it. You cant fix your loved one with sympathy. Be firm and demanding with love.

In Christ
Roy
 

Ninny:
Roy,
Thank you! That is something I needed to hear today!  :D
Kathy :)

Linny:
Roy, that was fantastic! I have always wished for the words to express my thoughts about this and those were it. You nailed it and YES, it won't sit well with anyone going through it. Chemical imbalance is named the cause when it has a cause as well. True healing comes from getting to the root rather than treating the symptoms.

It all goes back to  "That's why I'm telling you to stop worrying about your life..." Matt 6:25
Thanks again!

Marlene:
Hello, Roy you are right on target. For a few years I suffered with depression because I could not have children. Everyone, in the family was having them I had nothing I felt. Then, the Lord helped me to over come this terrible carnal thoughts in me. He got me over it and I ended up helping to raise these children. They all treat me as someone important in there life. Now, I even have a great-nephew who is 4 in my life.

I now, have lots of health problems, but even with all of these I do not have depression. I still look forward to being with my family and especially with God. God can make all the difference in depression. At, some point we have to quit feeling sorry for ourselves. God only can deliver us from this.

Good post.

In His Love,
Marlene

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