Please pray

[Deborah-Leigh]

Hello Eileen

I am not a stranger to widowhood. I lost my first husband when I was 24years old after 7 years not the decades you were with your Mark. I do not know that being widowed so young with so few years of marriage behind us was worse than being widowed with so much history that you have in your memories to look back on and cherish. I do know this - a part of me died when I lost my first husband. That part is true so I do empathise with the feeling that a part of you is with your Mark in his death. It is not unusual to feel the way you are feeling Eileen.

The acceptance part of the experience only comes later after the grief is so worn out our senses that there seemes to be nothing left of us to cry with and no more strenght to fight against the pain.

I feel your pain dear Eileen. God does too and He has the solution and the joy you will know as He draws you through this ordeal.

You will see Mark again in a better life.

Arc

[EKnight]

Arc,

I can barely see my computer screen through my tears.  Your words are so spot on.  I had just explained to my kids last night that when their Dad and I got married we truly did become one flesh and now that huge part of my soul has died and unfortunately he was the better part of my being. 

Remarkably (by the grace of God) I am not angry at God for taking Mark from me so soon.  For the past few weeks I was fortunate that God gave me hints if you will, and thoughts about the prospect of losing Mark and I rehearsed it in my mind as if it happened.  So I was not completely shocked when it actually did.  But regardless, the pain feels almost greater than I can bare at times but I know God's reasons are always purposeful.

Romans 8:18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

Romans 8:17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Romans 5:3 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;

2 Corinthians 1:5 For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.

2 Corinthians 1:16 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer.

Philippians 3:12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

15 All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16 Only let us live up to what we have already attained.

17 Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you. 18For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. 19Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. 20But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

I am not adept at reading the bible but these passages seem appropriate so if they are speaking of something that is not pertinent to pain and suffering for the love of Christ, feel free to correct me.

Love in Christ,
Eileen

[Kat]

Hi Eileen,

I have been thinking of you often in this exceedingly difficult time you are going through and my hearts aches thinking of the great sadness you are feeling. Of course you feel a great grief for the lose of someone so dear to you. Christ also showed grief while on earth.

John 11:34  And He said, "Where have you laid him?"
    They said to Him, "Lord, come and see."
v. 35  Jesus wept.
v. 36  Then the Jews said, "See how He loved him!"

Heb 4:15  For we have not a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.

The verses you provide show the direction that you are being lead. I know that you were probably drawn to those Scriptures because they referred to "suffering," but there is much more, I want to point out those things too.

Romans 8:17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ...
v. 18 ...with the glory that will be revealed in us.

2 Corinthians 1:5 ...through Christ our comfort overflows.

Philippians 3:14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
v. 20 But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

Yes you must "press on," but not by your own strength, but by the "comforter" that is in you.

Joh 14:16 ...He shall give you another Comforter, so that He may be with you forever,
v. 17 ...But you know Him, for He dwells with you and shall be in you.
v. 18  I will not leave you orphans. I will come to you.

v. 26  But the Comforter, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send in My name, He shall teach you all things and bring all things to your remembrance, whatever I have said to you.

He still has things to "teach" you Eileen, do not fear you can lean on Him, because He is with you and will take care of you.

1Peter 5:6  Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time,
v. 7  casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

v. 10  But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.
v. 11  To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

mercy, peace and love
Kat

[Deborah-Leigh]

I know what it is like when the tears are not tear drops, but a nonstop brimming over flow of tears that make it feel like you are looking  from under water. I don't quite know how to describe it. If feels like the tears are one long gushing out of water.  Like a tap that is opened and the water runs through without pause.  If feels like reality is behind a barrier of water that is your tears keeping you separate, alone, at the back of a stinging hot wall of tears. People are on the other side. You can hear them but everything is a blur and they do not seem to see or know what it is like for you. Unless they can just break through and hug you and feel what you are feeling, then if feels a bit better but just briefly. Even they cannot bear the pain enough to stay long with you as you suffer. Eventually they just have to stand back, look and say nothing.

They have the prayers of truth as they turn to the only One who really Knows what you are going through. Theirs are the Prayers of your family, speaking to Our Lord who is not immune to your feelings. Theirs are the prayers who bring forward those feelings that are undeniable, when you feel suddenly a powerful presence of calm, of love and of thick comfort surrounding your weary soul. Perhaps then someone is holding your pain for you for that moment just to help you regain some strength, some poise and some hope again. These are the prayers of those who say nothing but feel everything.  They are far more capable of speaking to Our Lord from their own hearts that have no words but are carried in deep feelings of need for Our Lord.

It happens. I know it does. It is the blanket of prayers that are so important in our times of deep despair and darkness. It from the prayers of the righteous that avail much towards the Mercy that we receive from our Lord. Who of us wants to carry pain. Who wants to feel the burden of someone else.  Non of us do but some of us are called to be that Simon of Cyrene pulled out from the crowd. It is not only one person but many that can touch us with healing and help. God has many emissaries of His Spirit available to help and often they do without knowing. It is God's way to work in secret, in discretion and in intimate closeness to our needs as our souls cry in the sobbing throbbing pain of hurt.

I know it. I have experienced the gift of mercy pre-empted through prayers of the righteous. I know it. If there is someone who is faithful when I fail, if there is someone who is strong when I am weak, if there is someone praying when my mind is numb with pain, if there is someone there when I am alone, if there is someone hoping when my hope is gone, if there is someone, just  one someone, then the gap in me, the hole in my heart and soul can be filled with just that one someone's prayers. That one someone is Christ in all the hearts and souls remembering Him in the wake of your grief, because of your pain and because we only know One Someone who can help, heal, understand and console all the pain and still all the fears.  That Someone is Christ.

It is only a few days now, and there will be more change to come that may  surprise you, at how you are coping beyond your wildest expectations. One small step at a time. You are compassed about with the heartfelt prayers of the faithful for you and your children.

You have been daily in my feelings and thoughts.

Love to you and your children Eileen

[LiberatedEagle]

Hi Eileen,

I must say that I am in no wise as gifted as Arc and others in regards to giving words of comfort in trying times, but I wanted to say you have encouraged me. I know it's extremely hard for you right now, but God has not allowed Satan to steal your faith.

I am not adept at reading the bible but these passages seem appropriate so if they are speaking of something that is not pertinent to pain and suffering for the love of Christ, feel free to correct me.

In my opinion these scriptures are very appropriate. You encourage me through your trial because I know we must suffer much tribulation to enter the Kingdom of God. God is showing me through your trial that He is able to strengthen us and create fruits of the spirit no matter how hard the trial may seem. The fact that you have audacity to post scriptures and ask if they are appropriate speaks volumes about your faith. God is using you Eileen whether you're aware of it or not. He always gets glory out of any situation. Darkness never consumes Light, but Light can always penetrate and consume the darkness.

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." Gen. 50:20

I'm still praying...

Charles


 

[EKnight]

Once again, thank you all for your encouraging and heartfelt words.  I am quite surprised myself how strongly I feel blessed in spite of all that has happened.  I keep telling people, "I trust God and His plan and that He will make all things right!  That IS the Good News!!"  I am glad God has given me the opportunity to express my faith to those who thought I might be going off the deep end.  So many words in reference to my beliefs flowed from my lips this week and I know it was God using me and protecting me at the same time.  I pray that the Comforter remains with me in the weeks, months and years to come.

God Bless all of you and sustain you as he has sustained me.

Love in Christ,

Eileen

[judith collier]

Eileen, Arcturus is so right on this. I can only bear your pain for a few moments then I have to leave off on the thread. We're not going to forget you Eileen and we'll continue to help carry your grief, if only for a small space of time but with everyone sharing, we pray it helps you. judy

[emkayfey]

It is hard to feel your pain, as each pain is unique to the bearer, but you can be sure we all empathise with you. May God give you the inner strength and grace to go through this time...God be with you.

[lauriellen]

dearest eileen,
i just wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. i, like so many here, share in your grief and i completely understand it. it will be 1 year ago on the 24th of this month, that i lay sleeping in my warm cozy bed, unaware that my firstborn child (& his passenger) lay dead in his car in the cold & dark night, under a tree just off the road. i got up that morning, like every morning, showered, and as i was getting dressed i heard the ambulance go by....and like i always did, said a quick little prayer that it wasn't anyone i knew....30 minutes or so later, i got the phone call that my son was in an accident.....my husband & i raced to the scene....we were stopped by a friend, a volunteer fireman who said we could not go to the car because they had not gotten him out yet....i asked him to just tell me if ethan was okay.....this grown man started crying and i knew.....lightening had struck. i hit the ground and my life was forever changed...but unlike so many that say they experience numbness and fog....it was like giant scales fell off my eyes and i was more aware than i had ever been in my life....you see, i was the typical american wife/mom/beast....i was going down the highway of me/lust of the eyes/lust of the flesh/ vanity/pride of life 100 miles an hour. i was stopped dead in my tracks that day. i was struck down & i knew instantly that i was naked, poor, misserable, wrectched & blind. 1/3 of mankind had died in me that day. even though my friends/family tried to console me with "he is fishing with his pappa right now in heaven, or 'he is so happy, he wouldn't come back right now if he could" or "he was saved & he'll be waiting there to meet you when you get to heaven."....i knew, even though i had never heard one ounce of the truth before, i knew deep down in my heart that everything i was hearing was BS! i knew i had to find God, the one true God, somehow, and i knew if i could find Him, i could find the truth....i didn't know how, or where or what, but i had planted in me that day a deep, all-consuming
fire burning to find God.....i begged, i pleaded, i screamed and cried....friends and family encouraged me to see a doctor, get therapy, get xanax, valium,...the worlds answer to pain.....NO! i told them that i NEEDED to feel every ounce of this pain....i didn't know why at the time, i just knew that i needed it....this was between me and God....for the last year, mountains have been moved, valleys have been raised, houses have come crashing down,...
it is hard for me to fully comprehend what a journey my grief has lead me on.....i have grown in ways that i could never imagine, i have died in ways that i never dreamed....it has been the worst of times/the best of times....
but i have a peace/a calm in the middle of the raging sea....and i could have never endured on my own...God sustained me through it all....He lead me when i was blind...He had pity on me,  a poor wretched sinner.....
even though a year has passed, the tears still come so easily, but there is always the hope that i have been so graciously given....and even though there is so much i don't know and have yet to learn, God has enabled me to have a greater compassion & be a help to those going through a similar experience. 8 months after my son died, a good friend of mine lost her 15 year old son in an auto accident...i am able to comfort her in her grief in a way i never could had i not been through this experience....
God will never leave us nor forsake us. He will give us the strength to endure even though there were times i didn't think i could. He will grow us through our pain...and use our growth to help others.
anyway, i just wanted to share my story with you, in hopes that you will be encouraged....life does go on, although never the same way.....all is of God.
prayers and love,
lauriellen

[Deborah-Leigh]

i have grown in ways that i could never imagine, i have died in ways that i never dreamed

Those are precise words of deep rooted accuracy. I can feel the far reach of God as He works in souls He elects to conform to the beautiful Image of His Son our Lord. It is no beauty treatment of the girls chosen for the King who Queen Esther married. Oh no. The pain is deep and the surface of lifes smiles and pretty pretences, just do not connect with any harmony. The flesh does not accept the Spirit.

We are blessed to be sharing such deep insights into our journey that God has appointed to us all.

Our feelings and reflection on God who does all things for a Grand and Worthy Purpose, helps us all as we believe, grieve and go on through the endurance and patience He gives to us.

That you pray for us, in your moments of deep work God is doing for you, is so valuable. Pain and Purpose unite in acceptance when we know and believe God.

lauriellen

Thank you for sharing your experience God gave to you and for being so honest with your feelings and love for us all here. Thank you.
Pa
Arc

[Linny]

I sit amazed at the depth of you ladies who have walked through such horrific valleys as these and come out the other side with such words of wisdom and God honoring lives. I want you to know how much I respect you and am thanking God that He placed you in my life.

[Marlene]

Eileen, you have been such a blessing to all of us of how God has been helping you endure this hard time of your life. I think and pray for you and have shared with my family of your loss.

In His Love,
Marlene

[acomplishedartis]

Just wanted to let you know that you all are in my prayers.

[EKnight]

My brother sent this to me in an email and it really made me feel like I am on the right track.

Hope your hanging in there. I still get tears in my eyes so I can't imagine what is like for you but your tough and have a good faith despite what mom may think.

I'm glad God has strengthened me at least in front of my blinded family.

Eileen

[Linny]

That is awesome Eileen. My hope is always that if anyone finds our beliefs "out there" that they will at the very least see how much we love our Savior and trust in Him.
Good job.
Hope you are finding peace and joy.
Lin

[Deborah-Leigh]

I'm glad God has strengthened me at least in front of my blinded family.

And certainly before your family here in this Forum, we see the Light of His Spirit shining through you to assure, strenghten and encourge us with you Eileen.

I am so glad you posted and shared. You have been present in my thoughts.

We can count on Christ and His Spirit who has the love to see us through. 

Blessings to you and your children and family Eileen

Arc

[Roy Coates]

Huggs, prayers, love and hope,
Roy

[Vangie]

Amen Eileen!  You're a light to us all.

Thank you and love to you in Christ,
Vangie

[indianabob]

Eileen,

Love and hugs to you for your comfort.
Sorry to be so late in responding, I just read the original letter today.
Please know that all those who sent their concerns and many others as well, are praying for you.
I am beginning to see from your replies that God is comforting you and that your trust is growing.
In that way you are an inspiration to each of us. In that way you let us share in your grief.

Sincerely, Bob

[judith collier]

Dear Eileen, your family and friends cannot deny your faith in Christ as Linny has mentioned. That theirs would be so great as yours!!!! God knows and the rest doesn't matter. I still think about you, especially at night when all are gone and you are alone in your bed.
My husband's brother was killed years ago and just after his marriage, their child was born with a cleft palate and lip. For yrs. the family gathered around. The little girl is now grown with children of her own but she has never forgotten we were all there during her many surgeries. There was a difference in beliefs but there was a lot of love and theological issues were never discussed.
Of course, the big one concerning her husband as I look back would have been immediate ressurection. I would have had to phrase my words differently now(new belief) without bringing her more sadness as she took such comfort in hers. It is hard for me to understand when someone dies that the extended family will not respect the beliefs of the immediate family. Love, judy