Judgmental busibody or loving discernment?

[HoneyLamb56]

Would appreciate some insight or words of wisdom; my brother is having an affair and the in-law has lost contact with a daughter (who confronted him) and grandchildren because the in-law believed his lies (denials).  I have recently found out about the affair from another source;  is it my place to speak to my brother or am I being judgmental?  Should I be looking at the specks in my own eyes?   Do I ignore it believing that God has a plan to deal with it?  I feel like part of a cover-up.  I resent him for what he's doing but yet am I not supposed to love him unconditionally?  Is this a case of "am I my brother's keeper" ?  and on it goes in my mind knowing what havoc this can wreak.  Is it my business?  Really lacking spiritual discernment.

[Roy Martin]

I must agree with John 100%.
Let it be as it is.

Roy

[judith collier]

I don't agree because there have been times in my life and even here on this site when i needed to be corrected head on. One doesn't have to be judgemental when confronting but rather genuinely concerned, like reminding them there is really a bigger problem within the marriage itself and that needs to be dealt with. It's harder to keep commiting sin when you know you are being prayed for and looked at. At least it was for me. Sin grows in darkness, bring it to the light.

[Deborah-Leigh]

There are too many variables yet that aside you should pray to God to help YOU over the difficulty that you are facing regarding the strain you are discerning. God is working all things in accord to the council of His Will and we have to accept, trust, have peace with and believe it. If we are not doing that, we will fall apart...like I do...often.

Arc

[Stacey]

IMO - If you love your brother than be up front about it to him what your concern is with the whole matter.

Look, I know as well as most of us here know it, it get's repeated almost daily, that God is in control and His will is gonna be no matter what but, guess what? Regardless of that fact, we all have to get up and make choices through out the day, every day and my opinion is this, make every choice a good one and to the best of your ability with the knowledge you have about what ever the case may be which, in then case, happens to be you and your brother.

You asked if it's your business. Should you worry about the specks in your eye's? This is all up in your eye's and business! So far, you have said that this has caused you to resent your brother, and you are very concerned with what might happen. At the very least, confronting your brother would relieve you from feeling involved in a cover up and let your brother know where you stand now that you know about it. 

I hope only the best for ya, to get through this!

[judith collier]

What about the wife? I would have given most anything to know 10 yrs. earlier rather than suffer torment because I knew something was wrong but didn't know WHAT. There's nothing worse than dirty little secrets in a mariage.

[cjwood]

perhaps look at it from the vantage point of God causing circumstances to happen so that you would indeed find out about the affair. yes, He does all according to His plan and purpose. He purposed you to become knowledgeable about your brother. perhaps you should approach your brother. out of love for him and the sure heartache which you know lies ahead for him, his wife, and all the extended family if the affair continues to fester in the darkness, until it explodes. go to him not out of resentment, but in the humble and forgiving love of Christi. i agree that it needs to be exposed to the light. it will be hard and it will be emotional, and it will hurt. but the best things in this life come after much trial and heartache. we can all say a big ole Amen to that! i will pray for you, and your brother, and his wife. i have been in her situation. finding out is horrific, but healing cannot begin until it is out in the open.

claudia

ps. one day you will find out why God purposed you to become privy to the affair. and so will your brother and sisterinlaw.