Losing all for the truth!

[thaddeus]

About 5 years ago I was involved with a small church in Rockwall TX. I had a hunger that was not being satisfied by what was being taught. My father-in-law had a small library of concordances and lexicons. Having started my study with just the bible I found things that did not make since to me! Eternal torture being one of many! I also worked for a Pentecostal preacher.  Anyway my studies only brought me closer to realizing that I was not hearing the truth!

One night I typed in bibletruths on the net. I started reading and reading about 2am my wife came in to find me with a stack of bibles reading Ray's papers and checking and rechecking! She asked if I was coming to bed I said yes and left my studies,but not for long! I could not sleep so I snuck back in the kitchen and resumed. I cried, felt as though a weight had been lifted off of me! I was humbled as though I was a child again but for weeks I kept my new found joy to myself ,until I had proven to myself that what I was reading was truth.  After God had removed my blinders completely I shared Ray's website with my Father-in-law who had been starving also!

He came back and asked," you don't believe this crap do you"? I was shocked to hear him say this! It was not the response I expected! I told him "Ray said if anyone could prove him wrong scriptural he would take down his site", and that I had tried to prove him wrong for my own understanding and it only brought me in agreement! I tried to get my wife to study with me and she was scared because it went against every thing she was taught! So I backed off. About a month later a highschool boyfriend of my wifes, wrecked his truck and died!  My boss came over that weekend along with my inlaws for a cookout. We were sitting outside talking when someone brought up what had happened to the old boyfriend! My boss said,"well he's frying in hell right now"! I was taking a drink of coolaid and got choked! I said without thinking, "how dare you stand in judgement of that man"! God's the only judge, and you don't quality"!

Iit was all down hill from there! I lost my job the start of the next week, and my inlaws started trying to convience my wife I was the devil! About 6 months ago my wife left and took are 3 small children with her to her mothers, saying she would never keep my kids from me! When I called that Friday wanting to come get them for the weekend and was told not this week but the next but was allowed to talk to my 5 year old son and 2 year old daughter. That was the last time I got to even talk to them for 6 months! The next week after she had left I was served with an order of protection for my wife and kids! I was broken, how could this happen? They lied to get the order, but I served as my own attorney and God gave me wisdom to defendant myself! I won that day, but still felt defeated because now she was going to file for divorce!

She waited months before filing, which meant I could not see my babies! Went to court last week for a temperary order of visitation and got to see them this weekend!  My heart was so overwelmed when I saw them, I feel to my knees and brokedown when they ran to me! My youngest Grace, who is only one just stood with her head down! I held out my arms and she came to me! She put her little head on my shoulder and would not let me put her down for about an hour! My wife, who is still on the order of protection and cannot be within 500 feet of me showed early to pick them up and came in the house where I was and wanted to talk to me! Which I told her we can talk about the kids and nothing else! When they went to leave my 2 year old Chloe Love asked if I would come with them, which caused me to breakdown again because I had to tell her I couldn't!

My wife started crying and I had to ask her to just go for now! Her mother was in the car and I didn't want any trouble in front of my kids, they've been through enough! Now my family has threatened to disown me basically if I don't have her arrested for breaking the protective order! Which I refuse to do! God will not let me return evil for evil and today that's where I'm standing, on faith only! I pray God's will shall bring this to an end but if not I will not give up till He takes the breath from me! I went to the doctor yesterday, and he's worried about my lungs! My mother and my uncle died from lung cancer so I've been praying for good news! Myself, I'm ready if its God's will but would like a few more years for my wife and kids sake!  Well that's my story for now, God bless!

I broke it into paragraphs for easier reading...Craig

[Rene]

Hi thaddeus and welcome to the forum.

You are certainly going through a very difficult trial and I will be praying for you and your family. 

René

[DougE6]

Wow Thaddeus

I will pray for you. I really like your humble spirit and refusal to return evil for evil. God will help, I know it. He will. I promise.

Doug

[thaddeus]

Rene and Doug thank you and God bless! I know God will deal with this for me, my inlaws have put my children in a local church! Trying to reteach my son who is almost 6, seeing that they have not went to church themselves in years! He has a heart that could only have been given by God himself! One night I had to go to a job site after the sprinkler system went off and I carried Isaac with me. After we left I stopped at a 7 11 to get us a soda.  There was a lady sitting by the door with a couple of wal-mart sacks full of clothes, crying. My son stopped and just looked, she smiled at him and I said come on in bubba. When we came out he kept looking back as we headed to the car. When he got in he said,"daddy, I know what's wrong with her"! I ask him what is was he said, "she need some money"! So I opened my wallet and only had the change from a 10 and a 20 dollar bill! He grabbed the 20 which besides the change was all we had, but I said if you think that's what she needs go give it to her! Which he went, but she would not take it! I saw him point to the car and they started walking towards me. When they got to me she said he gave me a 20 dollar bill! Neither he nor I would take it back! I gold her, its his money he can do what he wants with it!  She cried, I cried but Isaac acted like it was old hat to him! I thank God every night for giving my children such loving personallities! Just thought I would share that little story!

[thaddeus]

If you get out amongst the hurting and the homeless in this world you will see God working and it will make you think this ole world ain't so bad after all! Don't remember chapter or verse, to the pure all things are pure but to the defiled all things are defiled. That sticks in my head like glue!

[cjwood]

hello thaddeus and welcome to the forum. after reading your post regarding your situation, i was so sorry for your dear little children.  they are the ones who will be most affected by all this.  but God has given you His Truths for a purpose and reason, and i pray that you will continue to hold strong to not returning evil for evil, and to the faith that He has placed in your heart and spirit.  we are all going through some kind of earthly trials at this time. love, money, family, health, allegiance, job security, sexuality, smoking this or that, drinking this or that, etc. etc. etc.  we WILL suffer persecution in all its' forms if we continue to follow after Christ.  that is a statement of fact. but persecutions cannot cause me to run the other way.  i have been down the other way, and it is a dark and scary place to be, with no hope.  but, we have Hope in Christ.  but sometimes it is so, so hard.  but, He will NOT leave us as orphans in the storm.  and He won't leave your children there either.  i have no words of comfort regarding your wife's decision to divorce, as i am going through a separation from marriage myself after 20yrs, but, i can tell you that God is with you even during these horrible times.  believe it and continue to strive for the higher calling of those that love Him.

claudia

[jingle52]

Sory to hear about the unexpected upheavals in your life and the removal of your children, that, must be the hardest to bear, since they are so innocent and have no part in the sillyness of grownups... Be strong in the Truths that God has brought you to and know that this is a place to come to when you seek fellowship, guidance and encouragement as we are all also going through some trial or other.
Jingle

[Samson]

Hi Thaddeus & welcome to the Forum,

What an encouraging & heart warming Testimony, not the sufferings & hardships experienced, because no one really enjoys Evil while experiencing it, only the Joy from surviving it. I'm sorry that Your Kids are being put in the middle of all this, at least to some extent. Unfortunately, Familial Ties(Your Wife & In-Laws) are very strong with most people, the blood is thicker than water routine, something I've experienced on a Grand Scale, but mostly in the past. When this transpires(blood is thicker than Water), usually anything goes, Lying, Deception, double Standards, Hypocrisy, etc and the individuals involved in all of this forget the Religious Hypocrisy and Falsehood their committing as active participants, even their false brand of "Christianity" officially claims that their methods are wrong, but the reality is that when Emotions take over, ethics go down the drain.

Glad that God caused you to seek and find the truth. Your pouring over Lexicons, Concordances and Bible Translations when examining Ray's material demonstrates your desire for the Truth. Don't give up ! Your Testimony is an inspiration to others that are going through personal difficulties and was an inspiration to Me. When Your Boss said that the former Boyfriend of your Wife was "Frying in Hell." you did right by your response. Imperfect Puny Humans aren't qualified to tell people where they might be going or where they went, even if He was just being cruel, sarcastic and stupid.

Glad you joined us, Kind Regards, Samson.

[Daddysgirl]

Hello Thaddeus

You are in my thoughts and prayers.. Your current situation, like everything else will pass too.

Matty

[santikos]

it is amazing how people will turn against you when confronted with TRUTH. amazing.... stay strong.

[arion]

We've got to just give it time....time for God to work on whom he will.  I came out of an AOG Pentecostal background.  I stumbled (or at least I thought I did at the time, heh) across Ray's paper on tithing.  I was big on tithing and at one time was on staff of a 5,000 member AOG church so I was well versed in what was expected from the staff members.  When I read that paper I simply couldn't refute it even though I wanted to very badly.  Ray bookended it and boxed it up so tight that you would have to be intellectually dishonest to resist it.

I sent the paper on to many of my friends and you can imagine the responses that I got.  I saved it on the computer and didn't think too much about it.  Several months later I re-read the paper and then decided to find out if Ray Smith had any other teachings and that is how I found bible truths.  I started to read his views on hell and after the first two pages I judged him as a heretic and went on my way.  I mused that yes, he did find the truth on tithing and figured that even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then.

Several months after that I found myself back on the site again and read a different paper (don't remember which one) and Ray nailed that one down as well.  Once again I couldn't fight it.  So then I finally decided to make the commitment to work through the Lake of Fire teachings and as the saying goes the scales fell off from the eyes.  Everything began to fall into place.  I say all that just to say don't give up on those people.  In time the seeds that were planted will bear fruit in a few of them if God wills it.  All of us at one time were just as blind to God's truths as they still are.  It was the grace and mercy of God which opened our eyes and that same mercy and grace will work in their lives as well when it's God's time for them.  You never know when the lightbulb will go off. 

[gmik]

Goodness Gracious!!!! what a testimony....Thaddeus the Lord cn protect your little babies...and miracles still can happen!

Thaddeus and Arion thanks for sharing!!

Makes my little grievances quite trivial!

You both are in my prayers!

[cheekie3]

Thaddeus -

Please do not be offended by what I am about to say; as I have tried to place myself in your shoes and discearn the hearts of your family, and what I would do if I were in your position.

This may help you and your family; but if not please note that I am trying to be helpful.

You obviously love your wife and your three young children; and your children love each other and your wife and you.

I find that most of the people in the world live in fear and compropmise because they are scared to upset anyone; so they live in lies and deciti which is not healthy for anyone.

Those who have been shown The Truths of God live in peace and confrontation against all lies.

As you all love each other; and the problem is what others may think - I believe you need to have a heart to heart talk with your beloved wife and tell her that she and your children are your life's most precious and important aspects, and that it brteaks your heart when you are not together.

If it is not possible to talk face to face; then write your heart letter to her and hand it to her asking her to read it in private when she is alone.

Tell her that you cannot deny the Truths that you now believe; and you cannot deny your love for your family.

Tell her that you will keep your peace about the Truth; but cannot deny it any more than the air that we all breathe.

Ultimately, The Lord will determine whether your family stay together; but you need to tell your wife that your love her and it is not a choice between her and the love of God.

Love is God; including the love your children and your wife have fir each other and you as a single family.

I pray that The Lord Guides each one of your family to do the right thing.

Regards, George.

[acomplishedartis]

Wow, what a story...!       Not so long ago I posted a personal story as well...    yours seem so complicated my friend,

All I can tell is that I really wish that all things work for something greater, you will surely are getting a lot of patience, I bet.

I spoon that you already have a good plan of what are you going to do since you know well all the details of the situation...

thanks for sharing

God Bless