I am so sorry

[Ricky]

Hello everyone, I now have no other place to go but here. Something happened to me 2 weeks ago. It has shown me how much I have, and  how much I am hurting God today. Father God, I am so sorry please forgive me, please have mercy on me. I feel so separated from God. This event that happened has destroyed me in every way. I have not been to church in 12 years. I do not believe what they teach, I only believe what is here. I am going to a Christian church tomorrow moring. I have to. Somehow I must feel Him, be with Him, and cry through the whole service. My girlfriend left two weeks ago. She will not talk to me and tell me if it is over with us or not. This is what is killing me. Her name is Anita. She is the only person I have every found that believes what we believe. She is christian, she use to teach the word at missions in the city. Everyone please, I need you to pray for me. Please asked Father God to have mercy on me. Please ask Him to change my ways of living. Bring me back to Him. Her and I both need a miracle to let this world go, it is in our way with God. please  thank you   Ricky

[Gina]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bdOefF_tyU

[Ricky]

Thankyou John and Gina, being alone with no family or friends to talk to about anything is unbearable for me. i have found myself wandering through bars, malls, anywhere just looking for someone to talk to. John I know all churches belong to Satan, but so does my house. One time in church it would be just for fellowship, I dont know what else to do or where to go. None of them would ever believe they are whorshipping Satan, but Jesus does walk in the middest of the church. Maybe that would all I need, I really dont know.
Ricky

[lilitalienboi16]

Thankyou John and Gina, being alone with no family or friends to talk to about anything is unbearable for me. i have found myself wandering through bars, malls, anywhere just looking for someone to talk to. John I know all churches belong to Satan, but so does my house. One time in church it would be just for fellowship, I dont know what else to do or where to go. None of them would ever believe they are whorshipping Satan, but Jesus does walk in the middest of the church. Maybe that would all I need, I really dont know.
Ricky

Hey man, I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through. I will certainly say a prayer for you. I do agree with John though, that the church will bring you no comfort in the end. If I may ask, where do you live?

[Gina]

Thankyou John and Gina, being alone with no family or friends to talk to about anything is unbearable for me. i have found myself wandering through bars, malls, anywhere just looking for someone to talk to. John I know all churches belong to Satan, but so does my house. One time in church it would be just for fellowship, I dont know what else to do or where to go. None of them would ever believe they are whorshipping Satan, but Jesus does walk in the middest of the church. Maybe that would all I need, I really dont know.
Ricky

Hi Ricky,

At this time, most everyone who God is working with are alone.  We are in a wilderness and are strangers and sojourners on the earth.  We have learned to accept the loneliness for the time being.  Like many things, you get used to it.  It will not be this way forever.

Remember Jesus said He was never really alone because the Father was with Him.  Jesus went off alone to pray, meditate, and share the presence of God.  Do you have any safe places near you, where you can go for a walk?  I know when I walk in the deep woods, I can especially feel God's presence.  It is much better than any church service.

Someone once said you are never alone when you have a book.  The scriptures are the Word of God in print.  By just reading the Bible at random you come across the thoughts of God, which are a living presence.  When you are in touch with Him, you touch the Power behind all that is.  The presence of God takes away the loneliness.

Also, talk to God about your problems and needs.  When you engage in that exchange, you are not alone and are talking to Someone Who can really make a difference.

Take care friend,

John

  :)Thank you, John. 

[Dennis Vogel]

Thankyou John and Gina, being alone with no family or friends to talk to about anything is unbearable for me. i have found myself wandering through bars, malls, anywhere just looking for someone to talk to. John I know all churches belong to Satan, but so does my house. One time in church it would be just for fellowship, I dont know what else to do or where to go. None of them would ever believe they are whorshipping Satan, but Jesus does walk in the middest of the church. Maybe that would all I need, I really dont know.
Ricky

Rev 2:13  I know thy works, and where thou dwellest, even where Satan's seat is: and thou holdest fast my name, and hast not denied my faith, even in those days wherein Antipas was my faithful martyr, who was slain among you, where Satan dwelleth.

Perhaps you are confusing all the emotion the church carefully crafts (and uses to manipulate you) with Jesus presents Ricky.

As John pointed out:
Rev 18:4  And I heard another voice from heaven, saying, Come out of her, my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues.

Luk 16:13  No servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other...

2Pe 2:20  For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them than the beginning.

2Pe 2:21  For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them.

[Ricky]

Thankyou Dennis and John, I do understand. I will not be going to church today. The bible is so diffacult for me to read and understand. I have read it all a few over the years, but I have not picked it up now in many years. I have always come here to try and understand the word. Life has been in my way so hard that I have not even come here in a very long time now. This must change in me. Ricky

[Joel]

Hi Ricky,
Ask the Lord to help you read and understand the Bible, It is only by the Spirit that you can ever comprehend the scriptures on your own. Faith comes by hearing, and Bible-Truths has many recordings of Ray's teachings that are very helpful.
In my younger days the Living Bible was a great help, it is written in ever day English and makes for an easy read. A friend of mine had a hard time with the KJV, they started reading the Living Bible and read it all in about a year.
You are in my prayers, you will have to invest the time though.

Joel

[Ricky]

Hello everyone, I maybe should bring this up, it all has to do with, Losing your first love, It seems like God needed Anita to show me what this could mean concerning Him. In 1995 I was in an auto accident on the Alaska hi way. I was 39 years old and not a christian. I woke up after the accident 3 weeks later, 1500 miles away in Vancouver`s St. Paul's General Hospital. I had a broken neck, back, serious head injury`s. A day after I woke up, and I have no explanation for this at all, I was so scared and in pain. I asked God for His help, in my head, I did this not out load, because there were other patients in the room. The next 5 years it was rehab and church. In 2000 I left the church, I just could not believe anymore of what I was being taught, I somehow knew it was wrong. Since 1995-2010 I have never gone out with a women. I had kept my heart and hands clean with God, so that He would send me the right girl to marry. Because only He know who I am best for and who is best for me. Then Anita was there. She was my first love after the accident. And now she may be gone. I now do not think it is Anita I am crying and hurting for, It`s Jesus. He needed Anita to show me this. I do not know if I am right about this. Being separated from God is unbearable for me, it is Hell.    Ricky

[Deborah-Leigh]

Being separated from God is unbearable for me, it is Hell.    Ricky

Ricky ~ Hi.

You are NOT separated from God and there is NO Hell.

Think about it for just a second.

IF YOU, were SEPARATED from God, that would make God ABSENT, or NOT PRESENT, somewhere or where ever YOU so happen to be.

God is everywhere, all the time and knows everything and everyone.

NO ONE can be separated from God.

Be comforted.

Arc

[Ricky]

Hello Arc, I have only used that word hell as a compression as to how I feel right now. I have lost a lot of my memory of life before 1995. For 16 years now I have had to deal with that. I feel He is punishing me through Anita. I have asked God to make my motives, and intentions sincere with Him, and that I am not doing this just to get Anita back, but that I am doing this for Him only.    Ricky

[gmik]

Ricky thank you for your heart-felt sharing w/ us.  Only God can lead you on your journey and it is His will no matter what.  Please stay on here for some fellowship.  I get lonely for "christian" fellowship and miss all the "fun" things in a church atmosphere-but I know there is no going back.  I sometimes attend a womens bible study so I can go out to lunch w/ old friends and I can barely stomach it...my eyes glaze over and I get bored or angry.  I haven't gone in six weeks and I miss the gals but don't think I can go back.

The hurt of a break up is so sad, but trust the Lord to lead you.  Let Jesus be your comforter right now and who knows what the future holds for you.  That can be very exciting to anticipate!

Walk in Love, help others, look to Him...it will all work out.....SMILE- each day is a Present from Him!

[Ricky]

Thankyou Gmik, your words are very comforting. No one knows anything of my accident, injury's, memory loss, except God my doctor and Anita. Anita has been the only one ever to accept and understand what has happened to me. I have never told anyone. Anita has not broken up with me as of yet, she will not talk to me. I do hope and pray God will forgive and have mercy upon me with Anita.

[cjwood]

smile, Jesus loves you.  know that in your soul.

claudia

[Ricky]

My soul dose know that He loves me, thankyou Claudia. I don`t know why it hasent changed the way I feel. Thankyou all so very much.  Ricky

[jopie]

Hi Ricky,
My heart goes out to you, but I know that God some times lets us sink real low to let us know that there's absolutely nothing of our selves that is of any use to Him.
He must increase and we must decrease, and that is the whole journey.
Cry out to God and ask Him to open the eyes of your heart and give you a hunger for His word.
He is faithful and will not let you down.
I noticed that you are in the Vancouver area, I live in Victoria, I would love to meet up with you sometime.
God bless, you are in my prayers.
John.

[HoneyLamb56]

Hi Ricky:  i feel for what you are going thru; will hold you and Anita in my prayers;  like you, I feel very isolated at times having no physical friend to talk to and really have to be strong not to go back to the church for that social contact; I have been praying for a physical friend of like mind but God has not given that to me yet; but when I'm feeling that way I usually log in to BT and read about others experiences and edifications then I feel better again; these people are so insightful and caring; you can feel the love and don't even know them; no coincidence--God's leading i'm sure

How is it that you came to this sight? 

[Ricky]

Hello John, your words strong and right, I try to do the advice I have always got from everyone on BT. Life always seems to come back and get in the way of everything and I have to start over again. I live back home now John, in Edmonton. HoneyLamb56, thankyou so much for your prayers In 2005 somewhere on the net I found an ad about BT. As soon as I read a little on BT`s website, I knew instantly it was the truth. Became a member in 2007. Anita txt me today and said she will txt later. I am scared to death now. U r all so beautiful I only wish I could have done better with u all in the beginning. I am sorry.   Ricky

[acomplishedartis]

Hi Ricky.

I remember that in 2008 I really wanted to met more brothers-alike minders. Now days, traveling is not something nearly impossible even for someone who had small resourses like me. I have seen where is Edmonton, and Ricky; we are so far. I live on a little town close to cancun mexico. I have traveled even further to met brothers face to face and I don't regret it at all, I know traveling is very hard for most but if you really care, you can start making a research of brothers close to you, or come visit me! ha. You are welcome, you could have some vacations and times for talk about spiritual themes as much as you want. I am a good listener,  

Ricky, it strange me how can you feel that you have disappointed God and are far for him, at this far you should know that there is nothing that can separate us from God, He knows the why of everything and HE is everywhere, He also knows you very well and know your capacity to acomplish things, He doesn't expect you to do something that is out of your posibilities.
I know it is the first time we talk in the forum and I might not be the one to tell you these, but for what you wrote, it seems as if your life happines depends on a girl...

If I ever married, I hope God let me be the ones with the pants in the house...    I must be prepared, ha.

Well, Hope you are feeling better and I am sorry if I wasn't sensible enough to your present hard times.

Sincerely

Moises

[onelovedread]

Ricky, I know that many of us brethren are praying for you that God will give you progressively more insight and provide all that you need to fulfill His purposes in you. Please keep us up to date on your progress and I am praying that everything works out for good with Anita.
Moises, I enjoyed your sincere and wise post. I am praying that you will be the man who wears the pants in the house when God provides you with a woman. I am also wishing that you will pray for me too. I wonder how many men on the forum wear the pants in their house:)
Onelove