Men are just happier people

[John9362]

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.



MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.



BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.



ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.



FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.



MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.




NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.




OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.




THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

[Samson]

John,

Your above Post reminded Me of a comment an Old friend made many years ago. He stated: " My Mom finally friend a Husband She likes, gets along with and has no complaint about and Now She's finally Happy. Now, I'm finally ALLOWED to be happy too,  .

Thought that comment was sarcastically funny when I first heard it, Samson.