Christmas is hard....

[octoberose]

   Christmas is rough this year. I lack nothing- except the child who has removed himself from his family. And every song, every ornament that I bought for him growing up, all the memories- they just break my heart. My daughter wrote something today on her Facebook page about the things she misses at Christmas time and being with her brother was one of them. I know, I do this every year at some point. I truly don't know if I'm strong enough to bear this . And God just is so silent . He's So Silent. I know that He inhabits the praises of his people, but truthfully I am having a hard time with the praising. I can't find that place of surrender and peace while I wait on God as He does His will. I just suffer. And I think about how many years are left to me on this earth and could they please hurry up and get over with. That's awful to admit but that's where I am at the moment.
I ask myself if I love my son more than Christ. If Christ removed himself from me, would I be as wounded as I am now? I really hope the answer is yes, more so. But Christ won't remove Himself from me- He is the one who is Faithful and True. I know this is true.
  As marriages go, I've been married a long time. But you know when you begin a marriage that maybe there's a chance that it will not last. That he will leave you. But never, never did I ever consider my child would leave me. Maybe that's the thing - God has put me through the unkindest thing of all for - what, my benefit? Yes, there has been benefit. I actually know this.  I am Far less judgmental over parents and their children, I am aware of peoples suffering and don't think that I've done one thing good to keep calamity from me but that God has done it. But dear Lord, I am ready to benefit less from this lesson! Can You call Time and let me put away my pencil and paper and walk out with my grade?..... But, not one day before You are ready to. Just give me some grace and some strength and some joy in the mean time, would You please?

[Rhys 🕊]

James 1:2  Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,
James 1:3  for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.
James 1:4  And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

I look at these verses and wonder how long steadfastness (endurance, patience) will take. If I have it for 1 year is that enough for the full effect or will it take 10 years. I don't know but God knows. We need to trust Him with everything not just somethings. It's easy to trust in the little things but the big things take time and growing in maturity.

God knows the best time for us and you know that. To become perfect and complete, lacking in nothing takes more than what we think. I thought in some areas I was there only to find out that I'm not there yet and not sure when I will be.


Psa 34:18  The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.


http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,14047.msg123886.html#msg123886
We have to learn to live by faith and not by sight.  What we see and feel in this physical life can deceive us into believing that this is as good as it gets.  That is far from the truth.  This is a training ground of many difficult trials and tribulations.



Rhys

[cheekie3]

octoberose -

   Christmas is rough this year. I lack nothing- except the child who has removed himself from his family. And every song, every ornament that I bought for him growing up, all the memories- they just break my heart. My daughter wrote something today on her Facebook page about the things she misses at Christmas time and being with her brother was one of them. I know, I do this every year at some point. I truly don't know if I'm strong enough to bear this . And God just is so silent . He's So Silent. I know that He inhabits the praises of his people, but truthfully I am having a hard time with the praising. I can't find that place of surrender and peace while I wait on God as He does His will. I just suffer. And I think about how many years are left to me on this earth and could they please hurry up and get over with. That's awful to admit but that's where I am at the moment.
I ask myself if I love my son more than Christ. If Christ removed himself from me, would I be as wounded as I am now? I really hope the answer is yes, more so. But Christ won't remove Himself from me- He is the one who is Faithful and True. I know this is true.
  As marriages go, I've been married a long time. But you know when you begin a marriage that maybe there's a chance that it will not last. That he will leave you. But never, never did I ever consider my child would leave me. Maybe that's the thing - God has put me through the unkindest thing of all for - what, my benefit? Yes, there has been benefit. I actually know this.  I am Far less judgmental over parents and their children, I am aware of peoples suffering and don't think that I've done one thing good to keep calamity from me but that God has done it. But dear Lord, I am ready to benefit less from this lesson! Can You call Time and let me put away my pencil and paper and walk out with my grade?..... But, not one day before You are ready to. Just give me some grace and some strength and some joy in the mean time, would You please?

It appears (to me), that you have answered your own questions in the above, regarding The Love of God and our own Love for Him and our families and others.

Specifically about your hardship, and if I understand you correctly, for your family to be happy and complete together at this time - perhaps you need to focus on the following (if you do not already):

1. Christmas is a pagan celebration - which most of us cannot escape from - and most of us perhaps, still buy presents for our families knowing full well that it is not a True Festival of The Lord.
2. It matters not a bit (albeit it may hurt like hell) what others say or think about us and our families; as the only thing of TRUE value is our standing In Him.
3. He Has declared that all are accountable for what they desire, think, say and do - and this includes the very fact that not one of us can make a single choice for someone else.
4. Whatever the relationship (or not) anyone has with Him, the experiences He has preordained, that each and every one of us, walk in (and suffer through them), build Godly Character in each and every one of us.
5. Obedience is attained only through suffering.
6. His Judgements (whereby He chastens His Children) although extremely severe, and He does NOT cut any corners, are in reality the Very Act of a Loving Parent (to each and every one of us).
7. His Elect were born in the world, His Elect (in His Time of His own Choosing) were dragged out of the world, and were then not part of the world - and His Elect must NOT love any of the things in the world (The Pride of Life, The Lust of The Eyes and The Lust of The Flesh). If His Elect do NOT love the things in the world, His Elect are in a Very Good Place of Peace, Love and Joy (In Him).
8. Love conquers ALL:

I hope this helps you a little, and does not hinder you at all.

Warmest Regards.

George

[virginiabm]

My dear octoberose, my heart goes out to you so much, because I am in the same situation you are in. My son Bobby who is not in prison has turned his back on me and Charles and his sister. It hurts so much. We only can talk to my grandchildren. I have not seen them in almost 9 months, But I know God will make a way for you and me, because He loves us. Our ways is not His way. We want it now and God says no it is not time. I guess we have got a little bit more suffering to go through to learn something, like you, I don't know what yet, but God will show us in His time. I cry alot about my son and grandchildren, but I have got to a place where it don't hurt so much as it did, so I know my breakthrough is right around the corner and I can see a light at the end of the tunnel getting closer and closer. We have to believe that God is in control of all things and there is nothing we can do to help God out, because we think He is to slow. I love you sis and my thoughts and prayers are with you, that God will comfort you in your time of need. Christmas is a traditional Lie, it has nothing to do with our LORD and Saviour. No offence intended, just being honest. 

         Your Sister in Christ Jesus,
              virginia miller
         

[Extol]

Dear Rose,

I cannot know what it is like to suffer as you have suffered, but many of us have had similar feelings about God being "silent".

This is the opening of Psalm 22:

1 My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring?

2 O my God, I cry in the day time, but thou hearest not; and in the night season, and am not silent.

3 But thou art holy...

The same man who wrote that also wrote in Psalm 139:

Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
    to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you're there!
    If I go underground, you're there!
If I flew on morning's wings
    to the far western horizon,
You'd find me in a minute—
    you're already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
    At night I'm immersed in the light!"
It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you;
    night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you...

Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
    all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
    before I'd even lived one day.

I love what you wrote at the end of your post: But, not one day before You are ready to. Like the psalmist, you understand--despite your suffering and frustration--that God is holy and sovereign. And in the grand scheme of things, you know that He knows what He is doing...even if it doesn't "feel" right to you at this moment. That gives me cause to be thankful. Bless you, sister.

P.S. George and Virginia, I don't think the origins of Christmas have anything to do with Rose's plight. It is spending time with one's family--not what the day "means" or where it came from--that makes it special.

[lilitalienboi16]

Hi Patracia,

What loving and wise answers you've receive. There is not much for me to sat that you already haven't heard or don't know yourself.

You are in good company. Elijah prayed for death but God strengthened him that he should rise up to the Mountain of God. You too will rise to His mountain.

Job wish for death very often as Satan lay waste to everything he had, even his children too. But God delivered Him and in the end will deliver us all. The breath of life will consume death. It is but a matter of time. We shall all be together, even your child shall be with you and our mighty God.

God cannot lie and He has spoken marvelous and wonderous things to come. His promises are true and what promises they are!

Romans 8:15-21
15 For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
16 The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
17 And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.
18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
19 For the earnest expectation of the creation waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God.
20 For the creation was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope,
21 Because the creation itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God.

Love to you,
Alex

[Musterseed]

I understand your heavy heart Patricia. I too long for my children and grand babies.
I talk to Our Father and cry to Him and I remember what He went through for us and it breaks my heart but makes me stronger because He reminds me of the glory at the end. I imagine in my room of pictures and see the happiness and smiles on our children's faces, their hearts will be filled with Love and they will live in a most beautiful world. I thank Jesus and pray for that day to come soon. It's hard to be patient, waiting for that day my Love but it is a gift from God not only to us but to your family as well. I keep thinking about what's ahead and love them as best as I can a day at a time. The Lord loves your son and knows your heart. He knows. We love you Patricia.💐🌺🌻

[AwesomeSavior]

Hi octoberrose & virginia & musterseed:

I had a favorite uncle who cut himself off from our entire family. He wrote terrible vile letters to each family member, bringing up situations that had happened 30 years ago. For 2 years we didn't have any contact, until the day his wife called to let us know he had died in a hospital 2 days prior to her call. My mother and another uncle were very upset. Sad situation. He had battled depression for most of his life.

I pray that if it is God's will, there would be reunification in your lives.

Here is a powerful passage from 2nd Corinthians 1:3-9 --- (New English Translation)

3 Blessed is the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles so that we may be able to comfort those experiencing any trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For just as the sufferings of Christ overflow toward us, so also our comfort through Christ overflows to you. 6 But if we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort that you experience in your patient endurance of the same sufferings that we also suffer. 7 And our hope for you is steadfast because we know that as you share in our sufferings, so also you will share in our comfort. 8 For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers and sisters, regarding the affliction that happened to us in the province of Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of living. 9 Indeed we felt as if the sentence of death had been passed against us, so that we would not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead.

Dean

[Deblyn]

I am sorry for the pain you deal with. I have a daughter who cut us out of her life a number of years ago when she took a "road trip" to be with a guy she'd met online. Prior to that, we had a good relationship. She's now 30, and communicates via email on occasion, albeit rarely. People have asked over the years how I live with it. I am reminded of Job, who said, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him"..... I take comfort in knowing that she is in the Lord's hands-that He loves her even more than I do.

[cheekie3]

Dean -

The Scripture you have provided is very apt:

Hi octoberrose & virginia & musterseed:

I had a favorite uncle who cut himself off from our entire family. He wrote terrible vile letters to each family member, bringing up situations that had happened 30 years ago. For 2 years we didn't have any contact, until the day his wife called to let us know he had died in a hospital 2 days prior to her call. My mother and another uncle were very upset. Sad situation. He had battled depression for most of his life.

I pray that if it is God's will, there would be reunification in your lives.

Here is a powerful passage from 2nd Corinthians 1:3-9 --- (New English Translation)

3 Blessed is the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles so that we may be able to comfort those experiencing any trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For just as the sufferings of Christ overflow toward us, so also our comfort through Christ overflows to you. 6 But if we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort that you experience in your patient endurance of the same sufferings that we also suffer. 7 And our hope for you is steadfast because we know that as you share in our sufferings, so also you will share in our comfort. 8 For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers and sisters, regarding the affliction that happened to us in the province of Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of living. 9 Indeed we felt as if the sentence of death had been passed against us, so that we would not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead.

Dean

Warmest Regards.

George

[octoberose]

All,
❤️

[virginiabm]

Particia, I am so sorry I a made statement about Christmas. It had no place in here in your time of trouble, please forgive me. You have enough to think about without me saying something like that. I am sorry.  I love you my sister, my God smile down upon you and bring peace to your heart. Extrol is right, it is about family with some people.

       Your Sister in Christ Jesus,
          Virginia

[lauriellen]

I can so relate and emphathize with everything you are going thru. This year has also brought me thru the worst suffering I have ever been thru. At times it is truly unbearable. It is only thru Gods mercy that I am able to go on at all. In my darkest hours I find comfort in the word of God. It reminds me that there is a purpose being worked out, that circumstances are not out of control no matter how much they seem so. Sufferings have given me a clarity of what is and what is not important in this life. It has given me more empathy for others and their sufferings as well. I am reminded that I may loose everything I hold dear in this life, including my children, but God has given assurance to every man thru the resurrection of Jesus. Every problem in this present evil age that can rob us of our children or families will be resolved thru resurrection and judgment. This life is so hard, but it is just a vapor compared to immortality. Hang in there sister.

[octoberose]

Virginia, it's ok.  You have always been so kind to me and we understand where we both are. I will pray for Bobby and I know you will pray for mine. Your sweet shoulders can't carry all this . We both go to the same well for living water- because the water of this world is bitter.
  And Lauriellen - I almost didn't write anything because I know you have suffered so much. The three of us and our sons- it makes me wonder about God putting us all here in this little forum together.  For me, it's a kindness having you here. God's Spirit does show up in kindness in difficult days, doesn't He?  It's not unusual for me to remember your son at night before I go to sleep and you being a warrior mama taking care of him.
I was just reading this in I Peter 5.."And after you have suffered a little while, The God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you. "
We're all going to be more than fine, and so will our sons. Thanks for the reminder.

[cheekie3]

octoberose -

Virginia, it's ok.  You have always been so kind to me and we understand where we both are. I will pray for Bobby and I know you will pray for mine. Your sweet shoulders can't carry all this . We both go to the same well for living water- because the water of this world is bitter.
  And Lauriellen - I almost didn't write anything because I know you have suffered so much. The three of us and our sons- it makes me wonder about God putting us all here in this little forum together.  For me, it's a kindness having you here. God's Spirit does show up in kindness in difficult days, doesn't He?  It's not unusual for me to remember your son at night before I go to sleep and you being a warrior mama taking care of him.
I was just reading this in I Peter 5.."And after you have suffered a little while, The God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you. "
We're all going to be more than fine, and so will our sons. Thanks for the reminder.

Words fail me.

Wow.

Warmest Regards.

George

[Musterseed]

I handed my children over to God , I knew they would be safer with Him. Once I did that, all the
Animosity between us began to fade. It was difficult because I was always the one who enabled them and bailed them out of their troubles. And with my daughter it was an ongoing nightmare right up to this present day. When The Lord showed me I had no control, I let go of them. I told the Lord no matter what the outcome I believe you. I know you Love them and have more patience than I. It was a burden lifted from me and from them as well as I no longer try to control their lives. Knowing I do not have free will has changed my life and given me peace from many fears.
I still cry and long for my children and support them as much as possible, they too are suffering from their fabled free will choices and will have to learn the hard way. God is good.
Here is a prayer for you.
Father,
Just as Job continually burnt offerings to you for the forgiveness of his children, I am praying for the forgiveness of mine. Lord only you know what they have done,and sinned against you. I pray that you would forgive them.i pray that they would seek repentance and make things right with you.
Lord if there is any sin that needs to be forgiven, I pray that you would soften their hearts and bring them safely into your arms of Grace and Mercy. I Thankyou for your unlimited Love for us.
       In Jesus name I Pray. Thy will be done. 🙏🏼. Amen
We all feel each other's pain here and Thank God for this gift of fellowship. Great is Our God,
He is our refuge, our strength, our helper and our friend.He is everything. He will do what's best for your son Patricia. God Bless You        Pamela

[cheekie3]

Pamela -

I handed my children over to God , I knew they would be safer with Him. Once I did that, all the
Animosity between us began to fade. It was difficult because I was always the one who enabled them and bailed them out of their troubles. And with my daughter it was an ongoing nightmare right up to this present day. When The Lord showed me I had no control, I let go of them. I told the Lord no matter what the outcome I believe you. I know you Love them and have more patience than I. It was a burden lifted from me and from them as well as I no longer try to control their lives. Knowing I do not have free will has changed my life and given me peace from many fears.
I still cry and long for my children and support them as much as possible, they too are suffering from their fabled free will choices and will have to learn the hard way. God is good.
Here is a prayer for you.
Father,
Just as Job continually burnt offerings to you for the forgiveness of his children, I am praying for the forgiveness of mine. Lord only you know what they have done,and sinned against you. I pray that you would forgive them.i pray that they would seek repentance and make things right with you.
Lord if there is any sin that needs to be forgiven, I pray that you would soften their hearts and bring them safely into your arms of Grace and Mercy. I Thankyou for your unlimited Love for us.
       In Jesus name I Pray. Thy will be done. 🙏🏼. Amen
We all feel each other's pain here and Thank God for this gift of fellowship. Great is Our God,
He is our refuge, our strength, our helper and our friend.He is everything. He will do what's best for your son Patricia. God Bless You        Pamela

These are very Beautiful words from your heart.

Warmest Regards.

George

[jingle52]

Sooo Much suffering and such wise and kind responses. May God in His mercy and grace give us all peace in the knowledge that He is in control of all our lives and that this will give us strength and hope in all our individual suffering in our health problems, family problems and loss of our loved ones. May God bless us all. Amen

Jingle

[cjwood]

hi rose.  i am way behind on reading the forum threads.  i am sorry sweet sister for the turmoil in your heart for your son.  i too have wondered sometimes if i love this, or that, family member more than God because i don't think i could bear life without them.  but then i realize that i could not bear life without God in it.  in my heart.  i can't even love my earthly family, friends, spiritual family, as much as i do without God.  i can do nothing good without Him.  not one thing.

but, He is the One that i could not life without.
He is ever faithful.
He is ever strong.
He is ever present.
He made the universe
and He is inside me.  and you.
and you and you...

i will pray that God, our Father, will cause the circumstances to be such that your prodigal son comes home to you again.

love in Christ,
claudia

[octoberose]

❤️ Thank you - that means so much.