Kids are quick

[all4love]

 Kids are quick

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign..
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday ! you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have to day that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right.... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
               tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father
               didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same
               as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
               are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.

[Brett]

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
               tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father
               didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.

I love it!

Brett

[gmik]

Hey.  I are a teeeeechurrrr!!

Them wuz funeee.

I will print these out for my class.  They will love em.

Thanks for the laughs
gena

[SandyFla]

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

That reminds me of my first job. I was a teachers aid for the kindergarten/1st grade teacher.

I took a 5-year-old boy to a corner of the room and told him I want to see if he knows his numbers. He assured me that he knew them. I held up the cards one at a time and asked him what numbers were on them. Each time he shrugged his shoulders.

I said, "I thought you said you knew your numbers."

Without missing a beat, he replied, "Those aren't MY numbers -- they're YOUR numbers!" 

[hillsbororiver]

While working as a mall Santa, I had many children ask for electric trains. "If you get a train," I would tell each one, "you know your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that okay?"
    The usual answer was a quick yes, but after I asked one boy this question, he became very quiet. Trying to move the conversation along, I asked what else he would like Santa to bring him. He promptly replied, "Another train."

[hebrewroots98]

When I was a 3rd grade (Sunday School) teacher, I had the children memorize the "Lords' Prayer"; you know;

"our Father who art in Heaven...

(a child said) HOW WILL YOU BE MY NAME?"

ANOTHER SAID:  'GIVE US THIS DAY, OUR DAILY BREAD AND FORGIVE US OF OUR 'DEBITS' (RATHER THAN DEBTS.)  He just couldn't leave that "B" out of the word debts.

 

[John9362]

Hey Joe, your story is nowhere as funny as your first sentence.........While working as a mall Santa....Hehehe...Thanks for the giggle !! 

[hillsbororiver]

  John, Sorry I cannot take credit for anything in that story other than cutting and pasting it. When I was a kid there was a family down the street even more bizarre than mine, when the boy (about my age) who was 9 or 10 at the time got a beautiful HO scale train set (lighted buildings, functional drawbridges, landscaping etc.) it was his father who set it up and played engineer, his son got to watch and say "oh boy" and wow."

We weren't very close friends so I am not sure exactly when he was handed over the controls, probably when he graduated high school.

His Peace to you,

Joe

[rrammfcitktturjsp]

  In the second grade I was asked to lead the Pledge of Allegiance for all the school. Proudly I began to recite it, yet it all derailed when I got to "For which it stands".  I said, "For Richard stands, one nation...."   What was even sadder, I had just been naturalized as a United States citizen ealier that year.   

  Sincerely,



  Anne C. McGuire