My Story

[cjwood]

[I moved this post from another location to here. Dennis]

hello to you too duluthga.  i have a sister named janice.  spells is the same as you.  i am new to the forum but have been studying ray's teachings for the past 2 yrs.  i need your prayers and those from all my brothers and sisters on the forums because i am truly experiencing the trials / suffering on earth in my current situation.  i cannot blame my husband only.  i married him without asking more of the deeper questions regarding his belief in God and Jesus Christ.  he told me just enough to reel me in.  turns out he is a raging agnostic.  i take responsibility for that error on my part.  but, i always thought (via my "christian" mis-understanding) that if i lived a godly life i could be a "witness" of God's reality and love, but...we have been married 15 yrs. and were together 9 mths prior to the marriage.  i had been a single mother for 13yrs. (one daughter) when i met him.  i found out the day after Christmas ('06) that my husband was having an online webcam affair with a woman he met while he was working in Mauritania (west Africa).  he is in the oil industry.  works 28 days then home 28 days.  i actually walked in our computer room and caught him online with her.  i panicked at first because i have not been working for the past 5 yrs.  was laid off in a downsizing situation with the company i was with and my husband said i could stay home and not work because he was making a good living to support us.  in 2000 i had stage -0- breast cancer and had a lumpectomy and 8wks radiation.  we moved into a new home right as i was finishing up the radiation treatment.  i should have known our relationship was not what i thought it was during that stressful time because he didn't even go with me to my lumpectomy surgery.  i would go to radiation treatments before going to work each morning for 8 wks. and he couldn't understand why i was so wiped out when i would come home from work.  he was a teacher during those years.  he has only been back in the oil field work for the past 3 yrs.  had been in that kind of work before i met him in 1991.  in 2004 my daddy died unexpectedly and i went through a depression during that time due to his death and due to my fibromyalgia / degenerative disc disease flare ups.  my husband said that he just got tired of seeing me unable to wake up and pull myself up by my boot straps.  i am a go getter, and have always hit the floor running when i would wake up each day.  but, he could not even see that there was something very wrong going on with me, because i could not even wake up each morning before 11 am.  i ended up having a sleep study done and found that i never enter the deep restorative stage of sleep, but stay in the dream stage almost all night.  that is part of the fibromyalgia monster.  but, instead of support or compassion i got ridicule and resentment.  i still managed to have sex with him as often as i could, which was not a bad average considering the health issues i was experiencing.  but it was never enough.  he was getting heavier into porn online even though he promised me he would not.  once when he was overseas i had to take our laptop in for servicing because it became so infected with viruses from all the porn sites.  after i found out about the affair i tried to "accomodate" him in every way because fear had me by the neck.  but, then God opened my eyes and i started understanding that i had been in an emotional, spiritual prison that only Jesus had the keys to get me out of.  i had even quit studying ray's teachings after finding out about the affair because my being a believer was one of the things my husband had ridiculed me about to the other woman.  i cried out to God one night, when my husband had gone back over seas, and confessed that i had been such a fool and that i had been depending on my husband to meet my needs rather than Him.  i had always been confused how to work out respecting my husband as the head of our marriage, when he didn't even believe in God.  the scripture about unequally yoking myself to an unbeliever echoed in my mind many many times during our marriage, but, i thought it could still work.  i was so very wrong.  anyway, i repented of turning away from my first love, Jesus Christ, and asked God to guide me to do His will in my marriage.  i had never allowed myself to be angry at my husband for the infidelity, but little by little, the resentment and bitterness crept in and i knew it would destroy me if i didn't confront it.  my husband had even sent me an email about 2 mths after i found out about his affair, saying that he felt we should "cut our losses" and that he should ride that wave and see what was on the other side, because if he didn't get out of the marriage then that he might never do it.  of course, it was after i read that email that i started accomodating his every wish because i was so scared of loosing my financial support and all that involves.  believe it or not he said that by taking "baby steps" we could possibly stay together (and all because i was giving him sex when and where he wanted it).  the night i was crying out to God for help, i understood how superficial our marriage was because my husband based everything on the sex.  i realized that the marriage was a sham and that i was a fool for allowing myself to be treated with such disrespect.  it was after i listened to one of ray's audio tapes on marriage and love that God truly opened up my eyes.  i had tried for 15 yrs to be a loving, affectionate, sensual wife, contributing to our fianancial situation for the first 11 yrs. and still trying to make a home for us.  the relationship between my husband and my daughter (from my previous marriage) is a whole other story.  my husband did not know how to be a father.  i had been pregnant with his child after the 2nd yr of our marriage but miscarried the baby.  he never ever spoke of the miscarriage or tried to show any support for the loss.  anyway, God started showing me that i needed to get honest with myself and admit that i was not happy with the marriage, especially in light of the affair and with my husband continuing the communication with the other woman after promising me he had stopped.  so after my husband came home from nigeria at the beginning of june i told him i was not happy.  the week before he came home, i had to be taken to the emergency room with a fever of 103.9.  turns out i was trying to pass a kidney stone which got lodged and wouldn't pass.  everything above the blockage started ballooning out and getting toxic.  i was in the hospital for 2 1/2 days and left with a stent in place.  they couldn't surgically try to remove the stone because of the infection that had built up.  (i never knew there was any pain worse than natural child birth, boy was i wrong!)  my sister emailed my husband who was still in africa to tell him what had happened.  he did call me the night before i left the hospital, but he appeared to be more affected by the fact that we couldn't have sex til the stent was removed, than he was about me even being in the hospital.  by this time you would think i wouldn't be surprised by his reaction, but i was.  i got out of the hospital late monday and he came home on thursday.  after 2 days had gone by with not so much as a hug or kiss from him i finally told him we needed to talk.  that was when i told him i had been doing a lot of thinking and that i was not happy.  i told him i was ready to give him the divorce he had wanted.  so, that is where we are at.  he went back to africa the beginning of july and will be coming back home the first of august.  i having been moving his stuff into the spare bedroom and have begun packing away his things.  he asked me to wait on filing for the divorce until we have paid off a couple of debts, which should be done by the end of this year.  my daughter is getting married this coming new year's eve.  i never ever thought that i would be filing for divorce the same year my daughter would be getting married.  but all in all, i see know that God had been working His plan for me all of these years.  He knew all along how my marriage would end up, and He knew i needed to be humbled and shown that i was turning my back on Him for a man that never truly loved me in the way that He set marriage up to be.  i should not be surprised by any of this really.  i mean, i married an unbeliever, what else should i have expected, right?  but i loved him, and i thought the Light in me could show him the Way.  but in studying ray's teachings i know understand that was not my responsiblity.  only God can draw my husband to Himself.  i asked my husband before he went back to africa last month if he ever thinks about God, especially now that he is getting older (he will turn 50 this coming january).  he said no, he never even thinks about Him.  never thinks about him at all.  that blows me away.  i cannot imagine living like that, never thinking about God.  during our marriage i had attended church pretty regularly and my husband even went with me a few times.  he even called me once from the rig he was working on to ask me to pray that he could figure out a major problem that was going on out there.  that made me so happy.  i actually thought maybe he was coming around to the truth of God and the power of prayer.  but it turned out he only asked me to pray for him because he new i had an ongoing dialogue with God and thought it couldn't hurt to ask.  but, all in all i know this is God's will.  once i finally stood strong in my faith in God and His love for me as His child, and repented of not looking to Him and staying true to my first love, Jesus Christ, the burden of fear started to fall away.  of course, some days i feel like i am on a roller coaster, but more and more i am getting stronger in my faith and understanding that God will take care of my needs, just like he always has, and always did when i was struggling as a single mom for all those years.  i feel His arms around me and His Spirit guiding me.   i smile now more than cry.  i have an opportunity to work with my daughter and her fiancee in their family business, and God is very,very good at taking care of details.  i can't believe i ever lost sight of that.  but then again, He knew i was coming back to Him.  and i can't even begin to thank Him enough for leading me to bible-truths and ray smith.  okay.  i know this post is way longer than i intended it to be.  and it is way past my bedtime. so, thank you for taking the time to read through all of this.  i look forward to learning more and more of the absolutely amazing truths in His scripture which He is showing us all through ray, and i look forward to meeting more and more of you on this forum.

love in Christ,
claudia

[Kat]

Hi Claudia,

It is a long journey we must go on before we come to have a real understanding.  I am so glad to see that you have come so far towards seeing what is real life, Jesus Christ   
All of these fleshly ways are what we have to experience before we can really get a good understanding of the truth.  though it is a hard thing to endure. 
I hope you will fellowship with us here, and hopefully we can help you with this difficult life adjustments you will be going through.

mercy, peace, and love
Kat

[okjohnson]

Hi Claudia

I think you should have laid a 2x4 across this guys skull a long time ago. Not a literal 2x4 .

Your condoning his actions probably made him more brave in what he did.

My wife has fibermyalgia , and it does the same thing to her sleep.

I am sure you will be much better off now.
Praying for you.

   Orlando

[cjwood]

thank you all for your love and support.  as i was writing "my story" i started thinking about many more things that had happened during our marriage that were red flags and i sat amazed at how weak i had become.  how could i ever have expected my husband to see God's Light in me when i was covering that Light with a bushel, so to speak.  God is so good.  i am so thankful that He never gave up on me, but instead just kept loving me more and more, leading me to the real truth of His love.

i had been reading the forum for several months, during all of my personal turmoils, but never knew when or where to jump in, but, last night (rather EARLY this am), His Spirit guided me to jump in the deep end.  and here i am.  right where i was wanting to be for so long.

thank you for your prayers and concern.  i look forward to meeting more of you.

sincerely,
claudia


p.s.   thank you DENNIS (not craig as i posted originally) for placing my posting in a more apporpriate section on the forum.

[carol70]

Hi Claudia and welcome.

I am so sorry for your marriage and health troubles.  God has also used my marriage as a spiritual prison and some days I wonder if he'll ever unlock the doors!  But I know that through every trial He is dragging me closer to Him and I wouldn't trade that for anything, in spite of the turmoil and hard times.

Take care and God bless,
Carol

[pylady]

Hi Claudia,

It sounds like you tried for a very long time to please your husband and make your marriage work.  I pray now God will give you some peace.  As you know in His hands is the best place to be.

And welcome to the forum!  Glad you decided to dive right in!   

With Christian Love,

                          Cindy

         

[gmik]

Oh dear Claudia.  Thank you for bearing your soul to us.  Believe me this group of people will be praying for you.  So many know where of you speak!

I hope it helped you write it out, see it in black and white and see it for what it is.  God and you- and this is the journey that He used to drag you to Him.

I will be thinking and praying for you, him, and your daughter.

PS

I know of at least 4 "christian" men who dabbled in internet porn and lost their marriages.  i believe this is probably a big problem not dealt w/ in most homes or churches.

[DuluthGA]

May God bless you dear woman, Claudia, and it is apparent He has already been blessing you, and for quite some time wink wink in His odd and strange ways.  I am solemn in reading your story, yet your remarks reveal, over a long long history of a marriage that is not in sync (to say the least) that there is no real anger nor too much bitterness nor rage on your part... God has blessed you dear woman!!  You are more than half way to victory!  In Him, Christ our Savior!

My oh my but you've been through so much in your life, and you are probably about my age, early/mid 50s.  So you've been studying Ray (the best thing since sliced bread  ) and need prayers.  You got it sister!  Day by day!  I too have learned much from the Scriptures through Ray, and it all checks out, and I HANG ON TO THESE TRUTHS!!!  Hang on to these simple, basic teachings sister!!  You will do good, no doubt.  No worries on this aspect, and you seem to KNOW, which is good!!  A good time to focus on the basics of God's Word.  What else do we have?  Foo foo??   

I concur.  I am thankful I was led to BT a year and a half ago.  It means a lot!  I also agree there are "ABSOLUTELY AMAZING TRUTHS IN GOD'S SCRIPTURES" and that Ray has been spiritually led to reveal them.  It's hard to beat the best.

I am, however, questioning your take on sleep stages.  Dream-sleep with the R.E.M. stage is the best for a good night's rest.  You must get good sleep girl, or throw it all in the basket.  You must get good dream sleep!  Ho!  Somehow!

How dreadful it must've felt to have "FEAR HAVE YOU BY THE NECK".... losing the financial floor from underneath you, actually undulating with the circumstances so as not to lose it... no matter what.  Righto dear Claudia that Christ was meeting your needs along the way.  You finally got honest with the situation, the total lack of happiness, lack of marital fulfillment, confronting the affair... yes! I think this was God's plan to bring you out of your wilderness.

I especially admire you for thirteen years of being a single mother even before all that!!  Double WOW!  You've been given a strong and solid backbone to bear all this for quite some time.  Is this not another presence of Him interwoven in your life?  Leading you, pursuing you?  Following you?  God bless your daughter, how old is she now?

Righto, only God can draw a person.  You read and study well... KEEP IT UP... MORE TREASURES AWAIT YOU!!!  Among them, God WILL take care of your needs, just as He always has and always did.  I don't know your work situation now, you mentioned not working for five years. 

I pray God you continue to think lightly on your feet, make somewhat light of this dismal tragedy and move on.  You've got the potential to do this and not wallow in it.  Make a move, dear sister, make a move.  Let His spirit lead you.  You are still young and have quite a productive future ahead!!  GOODIE!!  

Hint:  NOTHING (GOOD) IS EVER EASY.   

Much joy always in Christ, Janice

[GODSown1]

Thank U Claudia & Welcum,
                                  Im also goin thru marriage issues (plez 4giv me 4 jus calln dem issues), But! @ dis time its about U, I jus Pray GOD comforts U sister in CHRIST, I Pray HE givz U all da strength u'l need & bringZ U understanding in HIS time, Thank U so much 4 sharing, Keep strong in the FAITH, thru xsperience dis is so da PlacE 2 b (Forum.bible-Truths.com) 4 u will feel! da LOVE! moSt! defintly thru da fellowship shared hea, GODBLESS! U Claudia. GOD is GOOD & is so "in Control" xOx
                                   much muchLOVE!! Pera
                                   

[skydreamers]

Wow Claudia, you've come through quite a bit, to say the least.  Thank you for being so brave and sharing your experiences with such honesty.  It is humbling and a blessing for us to have a glimpse of each other's burdens and trials.  It keeps our own lives in perspective.  I'll be praying for you.

God's peace and love to you,
Diana

[cjwood]

May God bless you dear woman, Claudia, and it is apparent He has already been blessing you, and for quite some time wink wink in His odd and strange ways.  I am solemn in reading your story, yet your remarks reveal, over a long long history of a marriage that is not in sync (to say the least) that there is no real anger nor too much bitterness nor rage on your part... God has blessed you dear woman!!  You are more than half way to victory!  In Him, Christ our Savior!

My oh my but you've been through so much in your life, and you are probably about my age, early/mid 50s.  So you've been studying Ray (the best thing since sliced bread  ) and need prayers.  You got it sister!  Day by day!  I too have learned much from the Scriptures through Ray, and it all checks out, and I HANG ON TO THESE TRUTHS!!!  Hang on to these simple, basic teachings sister!!  You will do good, no doubt.  No worries on this aspect, and you seem to KNOW, which is good!!  A good time to focus on the basics of God's Word.  What else do we have?  Foo foo??   

I concur.  I am thankful I was led to BT a year and a half ago.  It means a lot!  I also agree there are "ABSOLUTELY AMAZING TRUTHS IN GOD'S SCRIPTURES" and that Ray has been spiritually led to reveal them.  It's hard to beat the best.

I am, however, questioning your take on sleep stages.  Dream-sleep with the R.E.M. stage is the best for a good night's rest.  You must get good sleep girl, or throw it all in the basket.  You must get good dream sleep!  Ho!  Somehow!

How dreadful it must've felt to have "FEAR HAVE YOU BY THE NECK".... losing the financial floor from underneath you, actually undulating with the circumstances so as not to lose it... no matter what.  Righto dear Claudia that Christ was meeting your needs along the way.  You finally got honest with the situation, the total lack of happiness, lack of marital fulfillment, confronting the affair... yes! I think this was God's plan to bring you out of your wilderness.

I especially admire you for thirteen years of being a single mother even before all that!!  Double WOW!  You've been given a strong and solid backbone to bear all this for quite some time.  Is this not another presence of Him interwoven in your life?  Leading you, pursuing you?  Following you?  God bless your daughter, how old is she now?

Righto, only God can draw a person.  You read and study well... KEEP IT UP... MORE TREASURES AWAIT YOU!!!  Among them, God WILL take care of your needs, just as He always has and always did.  I don't know your work situation now, you mentioned not working for five years. 

I pray God you continue to think lightly on your feet, make somewhat light of this dismal tragedy and move on.  You've got the potential to do this and not wallow in it.  Make a move, dear sister, make a move.  Let His spirit lead you.  You are still young and have quite a productive future ahead!!  GOODIE!!  

Hint:  NOTHING (GOOD) IS EVER EASY.   

Much joy always in Christ, Janice

thank you bunches and bunches for the wonderful words of kindness and support.  i knew in my heart i would feel the burden of this time lifting more and more once i posted it on forums.  it just took me a little while to get the courage to expose it in black and white because i knew it would make it that much more real.  but, courage came with a loving push by the loving comforting Spirit of God.  with regards to the sleep disorder stuff, i had the sleep study done and they seemed to be concerned that of all the stages of sleep, i got stuck in the stage where you start to dream, but never would go on into the deeper stage of dreaming.  they said i never got into the restorative stage of sleep.  but that has all changed nowadays.  i fall right to sleep and stay asleep (well that is until that gotta get up and pee moment comes, like clock work but then right back to sound sleep).  God knows how much i needed to get there with my sleep pattern so i could start getting stronger each day.  however, sometimes it seems it is such a battle to remember that life is always better once you get up and get moving.  i started packing away my husbands books and pictures and nick nacks and came across an antique bottle i had been keeping the dried rose petals in from my little wedding bouquet and i took the lid off and let them slide into the trash bin.  that was hard.  they've been in that bottle for 15 yrs.  but i had to remind myself "first the physical, then the spiritual".  but each day God is showing me that because of the weak spiritual condition of my marriage, that this is His will for me.  if i give in to the physical and try to back out of the divorce, i will forfeit my spiritual path to Him and i will never ever ever ever do that again.  he is my Abba Father and that is that.

thank you (and everyone else who has responded to my post) for girding me with strength and love.
claudia

[DuluthGA]

My entire countenance is filled with absolute GLEE in hearing all your news CLAUDIA!!!

PRAISE GOD!!  I PRAISE AND GIVE HIM GLORY!!

I want to get this happy message to you, and will send this now as I have had computer problems tonight and do not wish to be sabotaged to let you know "I hear ya girl!!  BIG TIME!!  WOOHOO!!

More very soon, I've gotta get this out quick...

Thanks and love, Janice

[DuluthGA]

Hi again Claudia,

I'm so very happy to hear from you!  I'm especially glad you are sleeping well now, how wonderful!  I now understand what you meant about your sleep study.  And you are getting stronger physically and spiritually every day!!  Praise God for His spirit-led change in about a WEEK!  You are favored, dear sister, that He is showing you the way!  You truly ARE moving in life and spirit!!

I often acknowledge my Lord's "loving pushes" too, often to where I do not want to go.  But pushed I am nevertheless.  ABBA KNOWS BEST!!  Ha ha!  It is miraculous how He works all around and through us.  I liked your line "first the physical then the spiritual,"  Ho!  Righty-o!  You are strong, smart, and brave.  I give you a HUG!!

Never think that you are alone in your sufferings.  Each of us has our own.  But it is my prayer for you that you reach more stable and healthful 'ground' to grow even more.

I celebrate you on your new path!  My prayers for your successful journey will not stop.  Just keep doing the ENERGIZER BUNNY THING girl... and rest your head on our Savior's shoulder...

Yours in His peace,
Janice

[cjwood]

Hi again Claudia,

I'm so very happy to hear from you!  I'm especially glad you are sleeping well now, how wonderful!  I now understand what you meant about your sleep study.  And you are getting stronger physically and spiritually every day!!  Praise God for His spirit-led change in about a WEEK!  You are favored, dear sister, that He is showing you the way!  You truly ARE moving in life and spirit!!

I often acknowledge my Lord's "loving pushes" too, often to where I do not want to go.  But pushed I am nevertheless.  ABBA KNOWS BEST!!  Ha ha!  It is miraculous how He works all around and through us.  I liked your line "first the physical then the spiritual,"  Ho!  Righty-o!  You are strong, smart, and brave.  I give you a HUG!!

Never think that you are alone in your sufferings.  Each of us has our own.  But it is my prayer for you that you reach more stable and healthful 'ground' to grow even more.

I celebrate you on your new path!  My prayers for your successful journey will not stop.  Just keep doing the ENERGIZER BUNNY THING girl... and rest your head on our Savior's shoulder...

Yours in His peace,
Janice

thank you janice for your words of His wisdom.  yesterday was my daughter's birthday, she turned 28.  oh my, how did she grow up so fast.  she will be getting married this coming new year's eve in san miguel, mexico.  but you know what, she called me the other night to tell me goodnight (she still does that almost every night) and she said that she was thinking about me being at home by myself and she wanted to be 4 yrs old again and be with me at home.  i was so blessed to have a child that loves me that much, but, i told her that i wasn't alone because God was with me and He and i were getting closer and closer, and i told her that if she was 4 again she and i would have to go through all the heartache again that we both went through during those early years when i was a single momma.  but i told her she blessed my heart so much by calling me and thinking about me, especially when she has so many other things going on in her life.  i am sure God caused her to even pick up the phone to call me, and He once again showed me how very special my girl is to me and to Him.  everytime i think about the fact that i was pregnant 5 times in my life and she was the only one He brought forth, i am reminded of how very special she is to Him and of course to me and my family and to her fiancee.  i named her jessica without even knowing that her name means "the rich one".  rich in love with such a tender heart.  when i looked up the meaning of my name (claudia) it shows the meaning of my name as "the lame one", but i found in another baby name book that my name also translates as "gracious".  so i will carrry my name with no shame as the lame, gracious one.  God knows my true name is "His child".  thank you for your kind words janice, and your prayers.  my husband will be coming back from africa on 8/6 and he will be coming to our home because we still live in the same house, just in seperate rooms now.  he will spend some of his days back home visiting his parents out of town.  we are still working on the living arrangements because he works overseas for 28 days then home for 28 days.  the divorce is a sure thing, but we both have agreed to pay off some debts first so that we don't have them when we (i) actually file for the divorce.  hopefully that will be done by december this year.  ironic how my daughter will be starting her marriage as i will be filing for the end of mine, but, God knows what He is doing.  i am so glad because most days i have no clue...i will keep the vision of the energizer bunny in my mind.  i feel for the most part that i am getting healthier, but, i do in fact have a good amount of nerve damage and chronic pain, and i do have to use prescription meds regularly, but, i thank God for making available a way for me to get through each day, and i know use less pain meds than i have had to in the past 5 yrs.  i just remind myself that He is my greatest Physician.  my pain management doc is a christian, and he even prayed with me in his office at the end of one of my dr appts one day after i told him about my husband.  of course my christian doc is still wondering around in babylon but i thank God for him.  i have never ever in my life had a doc ask me if i would mind if he prayed with me during a doc visit.  i was blown away and cried all the way home thanking God for my docs kindness of heart.

okay, i better go for now.  again, thank you so very much for thinking of me and lifting me up in prayer.

your sister in Him
claudia

[Shmeggly]

claudia....wow. 

You've had a tough go during your life.  And still in the midst of it.  I just want to say Hi to you, and to encourage you to continue seeing what God wants for your life.  So many days it seems hopeless, until we consider Him. 

I pray God makes a way for you and your family, where there seems to be no way.  I have seen miracles in people's marriages, but I am not God. 

You seem pretty strong for having gone through some very difficult things, and I commend you for that.  I just would want the best for you; for what God wants in your life.  I am kind of going through something similar, and it all has to do with changing our hearts, minds, attitudes, to line up with Him. 

Anyway....take care and I pray for peace for your family....James

[ez2u]

Hi claudia  thank you for sharing your story I know it will help other people going through the firer.  I to have fibromyaglia and this is what I did to get better.  Which I want to tell you I was bed ridden at times.  I got alot of stress out of my life by leting go of attitudes and certain relationship that were unhealthy.  Next I did alot of colon cleansing, this was the major help and changed my diet to a more raw and natural diet.  I than startd exercising but not until I felt much better.  Exercising at the ymca has gving me back strength and endurance.  Now for the big surprizes last year one of my sons' and I walk 9 miles up the approach trail in the Applaccian trail.  It took me two days but he was great and help me out, I  did it.  My health is so much better by doing those three things I don't take medication now.  God Bless you  peggy

[GODSown1]

GODBLESS! U! Peggy,
                           Amen sister muchLOVE!! Pera

[cjwood]

Hi claudia  thank you for sharing your story I know it will help other people going through the firer.  I to have fibromyaglia and this is what I did to get better.  Which I want to tell you I was bed ridden at times.  I got alot of stress out of my life by leting go of attitudes and certain relationship that were unhealthy.  Next I did alot of colon cleansing, this was the major help and changed my diet to a more raw and natural diet.  I than startd exercising but not until I felt much better.  Exercising at the ymca has gving me back strength and endurance.  Now for the big surprizes last year one of my sons' and I walk 9 miles up the approach trail in the Applaccian trail.  It took me two days but he was great and help me out, I  did it.  My health is so much better by doing those three things I don't take medication now.  God Bless you  peggy

thank you peggy for your help.  i have found that exercise is such a big part of recovering from fibromyalgia.  actually just going outside in my backyard and sitting in the sun, or working in the flower beds, or just sitting on the back step looking at God's wonderful creation does wonders for me too.  i have done some cleansing of the colon, but have to be more diligent in the diet dept.  my nerve damage / degenerative disc disease matters seem to affect me more than the fibro.  but all in all i find that the absolute best thing i can do (after seeking God's truths) is just to get out of the bed and get moving.  of course, some days it is the just getting out of bed part that is hard for anyone with fibromyalgia, but on those days i remind myself that if i give in to the physical it will destroy me.  thank you again for your kind words, and thanks so much to everyone who has replied to my posts.  i am working daily on changing my focus from physical matters to spiritual what matters.  i cannot give enough praise to God for leading me here.

claudia

[DuluthGA]

HI again Claudia, 

I just wanted to touch base with you a little bit again... so good to hear of your wonderful and PRECIOUS 28-year-old daughter whom God had selected out of five pregnancies and who calls you daily.  What irony indeed on her marriage and your divorce thing!  Ho!  It truly doesn't get more ironic that that!  I'm so happy for her and (ironically) so happy for you!!  HA!  I know you've been going through a lot of heavy-duty stuff lately with the packing away and disposal of some stuff.  A churning of emotions I'm sure.  HUG again!!

I'm so glad you've been reading and checking in with the forum for a few months before this.   I had not!  I just jumped in a month and a half ago after getting the bulk of Ray's material under my belt.  It's much more dynamic to talk about it than read it.  HO!!!!!!  I live and learn, we all do.

I think it's cool and a blessing that you have a Christian doc... complete with bowing your heads in prayer.  Super cool!  I pray for your arthritis and fibromyalgia Claudia.

It's good to see you around the forum, and Claudia, take it from a small, wee small soul whom God has given to spiritually see a few great things through His Scriptures and theologian L. Ray Smith... and quite a few of the servants of God's Word at this forum...

GOD WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON YOU!

May God continue to bless,

With joyfulness, Janice

[cjwood]

hello again janice (and everyone out there who has followed this thread),
i just wanted to share a little thing that happened (by God of course) yesterday as we were driving home from a family wedding.  our drive to the wedding was 8 hrs each way, but thankfully we had a couple of days before we made the long journey back home.  anyway, we were driving through a section of texas known as tornado alley and drove into a major thunderstorm.  i could only drive 30-40 mphs from the regular 70 mph allowed because the rain was so hard and we were on a back roads highway which was double laned thankfully.  water was starting to pool on the highway so hydroplaning became a concern.  my daughter started to become scared because the dark storms clouds on our right side were the multiple layered kind with jagged edges and there were some funnel shaped ones, which turned out to break apart instead of starting to circulate.  on the left side of the highway there was a bright rainbow because the sun was starting to break through the clouds on that side.  although the stress level in the car rose because of the storm and the driving conditions, i told my daughter to quit looking at the scary clouds on the right side and to focus looking at the beautiful rainbow on the left side.  she then said, you know momma, this is exactly how her and my life were (me in the early days of divorce proceedings and her in the wedding planning stages).  we both know that we need to focus on the rainbow, but we are so tempted to keep looking at the scary dark clouds, all while motoring through the storms.  now don't tell me that whole situation was not God doing what only He can do best.   teaching us through everyday situations.  we just need to stay aware of His being the one who is putting us exactly where we are supposed to be to learn what He is showing us.  needless to say the stress went away when we passed through the storm, but we had to go through it to get out of it.  amazing.

love to all,
claudia