disheartened

[mari_et_pere]

Hello all. Long time no talk. I haven't been on bible truths for months and months! I came back to it today and the only thing I can think of is how disheartened I am. Disenchanted with everything under the sun. Aside from my wife and kids, I just don't care about anything else. Life is stressful. Financially I'm sunk beyond sunk, mostly because of long ago past mistakes and my current living arrangement. I don't even know how to explain what I feel lately. I tried to talk to my wife about it and didn't even know where to begin, where to go, or where to end. I think she's in pretty much the same boat anyway. I'm not sad, not angry, not happy. Numb I suppose? Numb's a good word. I feel unfeelings. Non-feelings. Like nothingness sort of. Maybe that's why people cling to their silly little religions? Makes them feel as if they have a purpose? I dunno. Something that seems very exciting to someone makes me nod off. Some horrendous event that makes people tremble with fear or cry with sorrow just makes me feel.....nothing really. Pope's in America, everyone's talking about it. So what? Election this election that. Who cares. War. Yep and? I dunno. Dog pooped on the floor a while ago. Don't care yet. I gotta work 12 hours tonight, need a nap cuz I've been up since 7:30. I don't care. I'll be tired as heck in the morning and guess what, I don't care. Now I'm just rambling and whining. Don't wanna sound like a whiner so........

[Deborah-Leigh]

I get your drift and I recall all the problems you were going through. Numb is the word for being punch drunk which is what it sounds like you are well into now. That so what, big deal, what do I care sensation. I get the drift. Personally I have not been there in your particular circumstances but I have wanted to stop breathing and begged God to be merciful and let me simply expire! I have been there and still enjoy the feeling of peaceful sleep that I am blessed to receive each night even though my circumstances are and have been far from pain free.

I can empathise with you that is for sure. All I can say is that this experience you have found words to describe is not in vain. It has a purpose even though at present it evades you. If you knew what the purpose was, your faith would no longer be built up. You'd be like the Thomas who only after seeing the wounds, fell to the ground and said, My God.

You are on the ground perhaps unable to say anything. That's okay. You are exactly where God has purposed you to be and it is not due to your circumstances but to God who is training you in righteousness and understanding that will be most valuable to others as you have to share in your strength's somewhere some day.

Peace to you and yours brother. BTW where there is no Mercy there is Judgment. I do not judge you.

Arc.

[gmik]

I am so glad you checked in Brother.  I have missed you.

Some years ago, I felt similar (you describe it so well).  Since prayer, church, etc wasn't helping I went and got on anti-anxiety and anti depressants.  Sorry to those of you out there that don't believe in this stuff, but it sure helped me.

Hon, I am not saying that is the answer for you, but just saying it has helped me get out of the fog.

PM me if you want more details.  I do feel your pain, and no one "gets" it if they have never experienced it.

[Matt]

I have been through a similar situation before.  Debt coming out of my ears, not enough money to pay the bills, but enough for a cheap case of beer, oh yeah, I have to tell my wife today that I am deploying again for a few months, ahhhhhhh     I remember the hopelessness and never being able to see a way out of it.  I took my numbness to the brink of divorce and ruin.  It took many years for me to get my life on track, and many more to understand and appreciate it.

It will not be easy, but if you stay the course and remain strong, this will pass and happiness will return to every area of your life.  I look back and I can see how the Lord used those "bad times" to strengthen me.  My life is much better now for having made it through the storm.  Circumstances from the past that would have shaken me are almost laughable now.  This may sound weird, but now I can see God in all areas of my life, especially the tough times (no more devil with a pitchfork messing up God's plans!).  

I pray for peace to return to you brother,
Stay strong

Matt  

[Samson]

    Sorry to hear about your plight and your unwanted stress, I wish that everything turns out better soon for you. I'd like to tell that it will soon be okay in your life, but I don't know exactly God's plan for you, so I'll just leave it in God's mighty Loving hand.

                               I will say that I've experienced those feelings of hopelessness, a who cares numb feeling. When things aren't going well in life, who cares about these different events, that you mentioned in your post. Just want to let you know that I'll be thinking about you and praying for your situation to improve, hoping you'll get some relief soon.

                                            Your Brother in Christ, Samson

[Robin]

Go have your thyroid checked. I didn't know if I was dead or alive and didn't care about anything because I didn't have the energy to care. I feel much better on my thyroid medication. I'm still not great because the trials continue, but at least I can tell I'm still alive.

I've also taken an anti depressant when my depression was too severe to bring myself out of it. I believe God causes all the trials that drive us to let go of the idols of our heart, but sometimes it seems like too much. It's really hard to care about anything. You are not alone.

[hillsbororiver]

Hi Brother,

You have been missed.

There are certainly some very good answers posted already but I thought I would add my perspective as I recently had a wilderness experience myself where I did not feel numb exactly but more like a paralyzed confusion. My mind wandering, thoughts difficult to articulate and unable to concentrate on a matter sufficiently. I also had thoughts that seemed to rise out of the pits of darkness that I had hoped were behind me, this came right on the heels of some great discovery and fellowship which made it all the more frustrating.

As I prayed about it I was led to James Chapter 1, a few verses really spoke to me (the whole chapter is relevant though);

Jam 1:2  My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; (Much easier said than done)

Jam 1:3  Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. (This gave a glimmer of hope, the proverbial "light" at the end of the tunnel))

Jam 1:8  A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. (This one smacked me right between the eyes)

In meditating on this it came to me that this quest for knowledge and all the other gifts of the Spirit I had neglected a very primary directive, obedience. The commands of our Lord to selflessness, to help others, to be a small light in a dark world.

I got caught up in my own wants and worries forgetting the precious gift we have been given. We have a better perspective on Who our God really is than the great majority of the world does, He has given this knowledge to us freely, we did not earn it nor do we deserve it. With that knowledge comes responsibilty to others, we have an example of the most selfless Man who ever walked the earth and if we faithfully follow these commands He will take care of us in the here and now. 

Mat 11:28  Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Mat 11:29  Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

Mat 11:30  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

I also find Matthew Chapter 6 to be very helpful in times of distress, disenchantment or lethargy;

Mat 6:25 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?

Mat 6:26 Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?

Mat 6:27 Which of you by taking thought (worrying, concern) can add one cubit unto his stature?

Mat 6:28 And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:

Mat 6:29 And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

Mat:630 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?

Mat 6:31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?

Mat 6:32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.

Mat 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Mat 6:34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil (trouble) thereof.

Do you know anyone who is lonely and could use a visit, even a phone call? How about an elderly or sick person that could use a hand with a chore or two? Is there a local volunteer group you could give a little time to? Things like this please the Lord exceedingly, we are sharing His yoke when we do selfless things and sharing His Light through our actions (not necessarily words).

I will close with the last verse in James Chapter 1;

Jam 1:27  Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.

His Peace and Wisdom to you, (you and yours are in my prayers)

Joe

[Robin]

Thank you Joe.

[eggi]

Hi Matt!

So good to see you back! I'm sorry to hear of your problems. Life can be hard, and it's certainly difficult to not feel very much. We can get tired and then we sort of "hibernate". Hang in there, the future is bright! The joy will come in the morning!

For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favor is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. (Psa 30:5 KJV)

God loves you, and so do we!
Eirik

[pylady]

Hi Matt,

You've taken an important first step just by talking about how you're feeling.
Get yourself to a doctor.  As MG pointed out your lethargy and depression could be caused by a physical problem.  Of course, our physical, mental, and emotional life are all intertwined and affect each other.  You'll be surprised how one small step can lead to another step and the cloud will start to lift gradually.

Of course pray, trusting in our Lord (sometimes our trust must be blind trust, and we might not feel it in our hearts), and reminding ourselves over and over that this life  is a mere blink of the eye, while the wonderful future we have been guaranteed in Christ Jesus is forever will bring us to a more positive and hopeful frame of mind.

I say these things to remind myself too.  We all need reminding. 

My prayers are with you, dear brother.


Joe,

Lately, in my bible reading, I keep running across the phrase "good works" and that we will be judged by our works, and have been praying that God show me what good works I should be doing.  Looking at my life it didn't seem to me I had much opportunity to do "good works" that would win His approval. 

After reading your post I see I've been looking at this all wrong.  The good works come not from focusing on myself  and what I can do to win God's favour, but good works come from focusing on others and their needs.  Isn't that the example Jesus gave us, focusing on His Fathers will and helping others?

Sometimes this ego "beast" gets in the way even when we're trying to do "good".  No wonder Jesus said no one was good but the Father!

Thanks for your post, Joe.  Very thought provoking as always.  I would say you are being very articulate.   

Your sister in Christ,

     Cindy

[Matt]

Plady,

After reading your post I see I've been looking at this all wrong.  The good works come not from focusing on myself  and what I can do to win God's favour, but good works come from focusing on others and their needs.  Isn't that the example Jesus gave us, focusing on His Fathers will and helping others?

Good point!  It is amazing how much we really do look for self satisfaction when we do a good work.  Just when I think I have it licked, I find myself craving a pat on the back or some other kind of recognition (don't you know what I just did for you  ) instead of just giving selflessly

Thanks for reminding me!
Matt

[lorrie]

I know what you are going through your are numb not because you really dont care it is because our father is streching your faith and testing you, he wants you to cling to him-not what the world has to offer.
He wants you to understand like solomon the things of the world are trivial compared to the glorious things you will overcome in the future.Remember he loves you no matter what.
Peace&Love Lorrie

[Little Joe]

Hello Brother Matt,

Sounds like stress and exaustion to me.   I've experienced those same types of emotional numbness when I was just too overwhelmed by everything, I think our mind goes into some kind of defense mechanism.  I've been going through some pretty hairy stress myself, but how it is affecting me is somewhat different.  The anwer for me has beed to spend more "alone time" with God, and maybe letting some of the less important things slide a little bit.  Just a thouht.

Peace In Christ,

Joe

[hillsbororiver]

You are welcome M.G.

Joe,

Lately, in my bible reading, I keep running across the phrase "good works" and that we will be judged by our works, and have been praying that God show me what good works I should be doing.  Looking at my life it didn't seem to me I had much opportunity to do "good works" that would win His approval. 

After reading your post I see I've been looking at this all wrong.  The good works come not from focusing on myself  and what I can do to win God's favour, but good works come from focusing on others and their needs.  Isn't that the example Jesus gave us, focusing on His Fathers will and helping others?

Sometimes this ego "beast" gets in the way even when we're trying to do "good".  No wonder Jesus said no one was good but the Father!

Thanks for your post, Joe.  Very thought provoking as always.  I would say you are being very articulate.   

Your sister in Christ,

     Cindy

Hi Cindy,

Thank you for the kind words, a series of events had led me to some real soul searching in regard to where and what I was lacking in. To be almost continually in a study mode or only associating and communicating with family, friends and those who I tend to naturally get along with is not the example that Christ gave me.

He was selfless and actually sought out the unfortunate and those who were suffering so He could heal and comfort them, of course I am not talking about any of us doing the miraculous things He did, at least not at this time as I believe the "greater works than these" prophecy [John 14:12] comes in to play in the next age, but in the present we can do the little things that can brighten another person's day. Someone who is not in a position to favor us with anything other than a smile or perhaps gratitude (but not necessarily even that), perhaps then we can share a little about Him, His true nature and the Source of our inspiration.

Have you heard of the "butterfly effect phrase and/or theory?"

The phrase refers to the idea that a butterfly's wings might create tiny changes in the atmosphere that ultimately cause a tornado to appear (or prevent a tornado from appearing). The flapping wing represents a small change in the initial condition of the system, which causes a chain of events leading to large-scale phenomena. Had the butterfly not flapped its wings, the trajectory of the system might have been vastly different.

I like to think that we, just like the butterfly can do little things for others that will have results far and above what anyone could really imagine if we do them out of love for and service to our Lord.

His Peace and Wisdom to you Sister,

Joe

[gmik]

Joe the first part of that verse, helping widows, fatherless in times of their affliction is very easy to get, black and white, no greys.  Got it!!

The second part...keeping the worlds' spots off us.....too grey for me...what do you suppose  SPECIFICALLY w/ DETAILS  that means!!

[Beloved]

I think that is the difference between babylon and here...everything there is about prosperity and blessings, not that we do not have these but we also have these dark times...these times ....where we feel forsaken...but are not....I am presently waiting to start back at my old job after two jobs fell through, I will only be working part time. Things will be tight.

I know that it is hardest to "rest" in God when you feel you are running out of steam but you have to...there is no Plan 2 ....God knows what he is doing and why.

God took me down to a total of $200.00 in Total assests a few years back , I had no place to live and no job.  Now I had a real tendency to think that I was in control and I sent out resumes and letters to places I was more than qualified for...guess what...nothing.....when I stopped all my activity.....and just volunteered a door opened up without my trying...I had already laid everything on the altar.

I was able to stay in my rental house a few months post lease until I could move closer to my new job.

God knows your need, you on the other hand may be struggling with your wants..... Read the email to Ray called Hypocrite that recently posted...and reread the article that Ray wrote on prayer...Perhaps in this numb state .....you are now ready.... for God to work in you


beloved

[hillsbororiver]

Joe the first part of that verse, helping widows, fatherless in times of their affliction is very easy to get, black and white, no greys.  Got it!!

The second part...keeping the worlds' spots off us.....too grey for me...what do you suppose  SPECIFICALLY w/ DETAILS  that means!!

Hi Gena,

In a nutshell it means do not become tainted with the cares of this world or become ensnared into the ways of the world, to focus on and follow Christ and the example He set for His own.

Jam 1:27  Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted784 from the world.

G784

ἄσπιλος
aspilos
as'-pee-los
From G1 (as a negative particle) and G4695; unblemished (physically or morally): - without spot, unspotted.

In keeping with what we have been taught about scripture interpreting scripture here are a few witnesses;

Eph 5:27  That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

Heb 9:14  How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?

1Pe 1:19  But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot:

2Pe 3:14  Wherefore, beloved, seeing that ye look for such things, be diligent that ye may be found of him in peace, without spot, and blameless.

His Peace and Wisdom to you,

Joe