Please pray for my husband!!!!

[frecklegirl417]

      To all my sisters and brothers in Christ;

   I want to ask all of you to please pray for Samson. My dear loving husband  is going through a trying time with one of his ex-wife's and daughter. We do not have alot, but what we do have is because we save for it. His daughter Shannon always seems to think her father can and will buy her everything she asks. He will buy for her sometimes with in reason, and he tells her so. My husband pays his child support and tries to see her at least once a month since she lives over 4 hours away.
  Samson has tried several times to explain this to his daughter, but since she is 13 this is a concept beyond her thinking. Her mother goes to a streamline church and doesn't believe the way we do. Her belief is everyone has free will, and will go to hell and if things isn't done exactly her way then the devil did influence the situation. The woman doesn't work and expects Samson to come there more and give more then what he can. She has told him many times in my presence that Jesus will find her the perfect job, and Jesus will help her pay rent and everything else she needs.
  I am trying my best to help him but sometimes he needs alot more then I can give. The woman has even gone to lenghts has to email him a very negative email and threaten him with a restraining order. This all started because Samson wouldn't give his daughter $60 for a bible on top of bringing her sister and a friend to see her and take them to an amusement park. Plus, I guess it didn't help that against my husband's wishes I called and tried to help make amends. I know now that it was futile but all I wanted to do was help my husband, and all I did was make the situation worse. So, What I really am asking for is alot of prayers for him to help find peace with in himself during these very trying times with his daughter and her mother.

                                                                                    Thanks for listening,
                                                                                         Frecklegirl

[OBrenda]

Hi There FreckleGirl,
I hear your anguish, and I will certainly pray for Samson and Your whole family!
Allot of families are experiencing similar strife.  Shannon sounds very normal for her age.  Most teenagers are only aware of their needs, and are unable to see the Bigger picture.  They need to be validated in creative ways that don't involve possesions or money.  Mistakenly they interpret No you can't have that,...as I don't Love or Value You.

And then there is the brave one that tries to be a hero and stop the insanity, only to find you can't use reason with irrational people.  And that person that meant good, ends up the "Bad Guy"!  In my experience the more I try to resist people like this, (in the natural) the greater their power seems to becomes. 

But when on those very rare occasions when I remember...that we are to pray for our enemies....and Bless them that wrongfully persecute us.   (I am pretty sure this applies with ex-wives )  ...eventually that stronghold comes down.     

Stay Strong in the Lord, he will be your Hero!

[Kat]

Hi Frecklegirl,

I will pray that God will give you both wisdom and strength to deal with this difficult situation.

mercy, peace and love
Kat

[gmik]

Amen.  Thanks for sharing.  You are not going thru this alone!!

[Roy Monis]

Hi! Frecklegirl

Dear sister in Christ your request is on my list and will receive my every attention. have no fear everything will work out for the good, the Lord has said so and we can depend on it; "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?"  (Rom.8:28-31).

God bless you brother and sister in our joint walk in Christ.   

Love in Christ Jesus.

Roy UK     

[Samson]

Thakyou Kat, Gena, Roy and Brenda,

                                                  Your prayers and advice is much appreciated. This Ex-Wife referred to by Freckle Girl is most difficult to contend with. She is wants commonly called, a PERFECTIONIST, perfectionism is a disease, because one who is a perfectionist establishes their own righteousness and uses the Bible and their " relationship with Christ " as a hammer, exalting their so-called Holiness and looking upon others as Spiritually inferior. I've been advised by my wife and a Forum Member who converses with me by phone to not respond, thus far, I've applied the counsel. I can remember that Jesus remained silent when before the Sanhedrin, prior to being nailed to the cross. Their was nothing he could say, the weren't going to believe him anyway and would twist his words. I have to admit that this is hard for me to apply, because of the Judgement and attachs towards my Character. I say to myself, I've been divorced from this Woman for 7 years and separated for three years prior to that and she still needs to pass judgement and find fault with me. I don't want to blow a trumpet, but I know of no other male that would drive 220 miles one way, once per month for ten years to see their child, I've been doing this for ten years. I consistently pay my child support(Bi-weekly), give my EX-Wife extra money when she's desperate, her own Husband, who she's separated from, hardly does anything and is currently having an affair with another woman. Also, I spend extra money on my Daughter, beyond the child support. Some might respond by saying: You good for nothing slave, you only did what you should have.

                 I will give you an example of her self-righteousness; She was a JW for twenty years like and followed the letter of their Law, except in area's where it was inconvenient for her, upon leaving that Religion and thereafter for reasons relating to the flaws of others, she eventually goes through approximately 5 different churches eventually ending up with a Non-denominational Born again type Church and is legalistic as ever. This Church goes so far as to tell their members which movies,T.V. and music is acceptable. My Daughter used to like Harry Potter Movies, Now I'm not advocating these movies, I don't even like them, but I asked her why it was okay to watch them a year ago and not now. Her response was that we are Christians now and weren't then. Poppycock, my Ex-Wife believed she was a Christian long before that. Prior to joining this Forum, my wife and I lived together without getting legally married, we felt we didn't need Man's certificate to prove we were Married with God. We did get Married legally on 4/17/07 and after listening to Ray's talk on Marriage and learning that the Greek word Gamos translated Marriage in the New Testament literally means Nuptials, we realized we did the right thing. My wife and I decided for the time being that we wouldn't tell anyone. My attitude was that it's none of anyone's business, except God's. I never read in the Bible that it was necessary to report our personal business to others. Finally, we told my Daughters that we were legally married, one of my Ex-Wives, the one being discussed in this post, asked me what the greek word was for liar(Sarcastically) in one of her E-mails, of course I didn't respond. I Didn't know it was my job to report her or anyone that I was Marrried and how long. The Bible indicates as Ray proved, that you should be legally married when living together, which we did, where in the Bible does it say we have to report these things to Ex-wives, especially ones that will use it against us. A Forum member suggested to me in private that I should let them know, because of an appearance of Evil(living together) and so I did. I just feel like the nerve that puny humans made out of dust like me, think they need to know my business. Sometimes the less your enemies know about you, the better off you are. Well, enough said, I'm on a roll.

                         Anyone that dares to venture with a comment, I'm all ears

                                       Your Brother, Samson.

[rk12201960]

Hi Samson,
First let me start with this.

You are blessed with a good wife.
I know its hard but give thanks for the good things, first we give thanks.
I might be wrong but I think this will draw you guys closer.

Kids will be kids but I would think her mom would know better.
We can't make people do things we want. (as get a life outside of yours) but God can.( NO FEE WILL)

Our God is in control and will walk with you and Pam.
I on my part I will ask for peace and mercy for my brother and sister.

Its good to witness two become one.

Gods blessings and peace.

Randy

[Samson]

Thankyou Randy,

                         I appreciate that and thanks for the reminder about the good wife, I have now. Satan really knows how to stick it to us, even in Ex-wife female form.

                                        Your Brother, Samson.

[Dave in Tenn]

Jesus and the Apostles left us many comments about marriage and how we are to relate to each other (and to Him) in it.  As with everything, these are parables and must be spiritually discerned and applied.  You may be right that is no place in the Bible that teaches us explicitly how to deal with ex-wives, but that doesn't mean there isn't wisdom in the scripture for your situation.

Look to the Old Covenant where men--at least those able to afford it--took more than one wife and see if there is wisdom you can learn, discern, and obey.  Despite the laws of most 'civilized' nations and men, you may not be as 'unmarried' to this woman as you think.  I'm sure when these crises flare that you don't 'feel' unmarried!

I know that you want this tornado to end, but as in everything recognize that you are at least partially accountable for the storm.  Praise God that He is responsible, however.  He not only is, but was, and will be responsible and is able use it to mold you into the image of Christ.

Clearly you are obeying God by keeping your commitment.  Your daughter is your daughter, though, and despite her age needs to understand that 1.  You love her.  2.  You cannot always express that love with baubles and beads, and 3. You love her.  I believe she'll 'get it.'  That's what kids really want.

All I can add is concerning your ex-wife.  Consider this...she has already gone through the wringer of (at least) one divorce and her current marriage is failing.  She has the primary accountability for raising the daughter made by your union.  She is living in fear.  That's one major thing Babylon produces and cultivates, and she clearly is in bondage.  Love your enemies and pray for those that despitefully use you.

Brother, if I was talking to HER, I'd have different things to say.  But she's not here to read this forum.  You are.  And you asked.  I wish I could do better, leading you to appropriate scripture.  I will pray for you, and have. 

 

[gmik]

Brad, you and Pam are blessed.  I just was reading her post to pray for YOU.  My hubby and I both are believers and that is rare.  Just read the forum and see how many don't have this luxury!

I know it is still hard dealing w/ crap tho.

This is puny in comparison but here is what I did this weekend.  Coming back from Chicago Sunday, I started crying, I couldn't believe it!!  We had stayed in a million dollar house w/ all the furnishings/toys etc and I guess I was jealous- really jealous.  Why couldn't God have had my life be this???  This is what I want! Why why why why, I boo hooed and my poor hubby didn't know what to say!  Yes, I know it is Gods Will for my life, but I didn't like it!!!  Why all our mistakes?  Why?  Oh I was a mess!!

I grabbed some of Ray's papers I have printed out, and got my sanity restored!

Rom 9.  How dare I (the clay) tell the Potter anything!!!

We are all learning as we walk this walk.  We all have trials of some kind or another.  I am trying to be content where God has me!

Ray says start thanking God for your pillow, shirt, food, house, fridge, ..etc.... cuz there is always someone out there that is worse off than you!

[Roy Monis]

Hi! Frecklegirl Pam

I'm going to let you into a secret and you must promise not to tell anyone else because I'm so very protective of it.

When I left the army in 1945 at war end, I was broke except for the army civie outfit and a paltry discharge pay. Well to cut a long story short, my dear Alice and I couldn't wait to get wed, so we braved it.We couldn't afford a ring of gold though we cast envious eyes on them, so we settled for Woolworth's store where they sold wedding rings for 1 shilling and nine pence - about one tenth of a US dollar. It looked like gold but I believe it was brass and if I'm not mistaken a curtain ring.

Well, the minister looked at it with amazement but he blessed it and I put it on her finger and it remained there till the day the Lord decided to take her from me. As the world became more prosperous, I was in a position to buy her a real gold one at last. It's one of the rare occasions when I've seen her really angry, "This is not coming off, as for that thing it can stay where it is." and that was the end of that. If pictures were allowed I'd post a picture of it, because it hangs on her framed photo to this very day. 57 years of blissful memories. What price love! Praise the Lord and all glory to Him.

My prayers are with you and Brad and may God bless your union as abundantly as He did mine.

God bless you brother and sister in our joint walk in Christ. 

Love in Christ Jesus.     

Roy UK                      So child of God, listen, there will be an end,
                                    Just trust Him for His Word is true,
                             Be patient and wait, for in His own good time
                                  He'll measure.and bring you through.
             

[Vangie]

I hope things are going better now with the hubby's exwife, Mrs. Freckle Girl Pam!  That whole scenario is a just plain tough.  I'm glad God has given you two each other to help each other deal with this difficult situation.  It's so neat that when I looked on this board, both yours and Samson's posts for prayer were right next to one another.      We're praying for you both!

Roy, your post brought me to tears.  Your wife sounds like a truly lovely lady.  The wonderful remembrances you have of her are very inspiring.  You had the proverbial match made in heaven it seems and I thank you for that beautiful story. 

Love in Christ,
Vangie