corrupt in the flesh....

[danaman1]

well today I fell....and in a way that is common to to humankind.....I sinned.....I am still very carnally minded.....despite 18 years of "churchianity" and rituals lol which will never change me from the inside out. Repentance......I will be repenting for the rest of my life I know for sure.....I was washed and forgiven covered by his Grace at his death and resurrection.....the process of making me into his image is taking place (goldsmith) ....I get frustrated when I knowingly and willfully almost wantonly sin.... masturbation....lust...pornography....on line websites make it so easy for me to fall using pictures, stories, videos to which my flesh craves......even when I had not these things still the sin was in my heart......on my mind.....in my fantasies......I have not the power to master my sin as it crouches at the door eager to devour me.....(cuckoldry, feminizing, sissy, emasculation) types of my sin....mind you I am a virgin about to turn 40 as well......
For this reason I feel though God called me....and I know few are chosen.....I cannot possibly be of his elect.....this is not just a humble statement of me saying I am not worthy.....true repentance comes from within....and not by obeying and or trying to make myself better.....I will admit there have been a lot of changes within me that I cannot take credit for.....I smoked for 10 years from the age of 11-21 and I prayed that God would help me....for I confessed that I did not have the power to stop.....nor did I even want to....for I liked smoking.....but it was an addiction and I craved it from the flesh....but one might say well I crave food too, or sex, or this, or that, or whatever.....some of are benefit while others are for pleasure....but ALL have a purpose.....and a time.......although you would be hard pressed to get me to see the purpose of smoking or drug use.....yet those too are caused or allowed by our creator.....so ultimately his will......the desires of my life are put there by the Father....."some for noble purpose, and some for ignoble"......God created Satan.......Pharaoh......Caesar......Ivan the "terrible".....Hitler.....Osama Bin Laden.....Dana Hayes......L. Ray Smith......Saul......Judas.....and you!
mind you I feel bad when these things I do......but worldly sorrow leads to death while Godly sorrow leads to repentance.....at the very least my conscience is not seared....yet I am carnal.....I know the truth and still don't do what Christ says.....not just in this area....but this one gnaws at me enough to shame me.....and know that I cannot be elect.....hmmm I guess I need to forgive myself.....but how do I stop that which I don't even like yet continue to do of the flesh???

In Christ's love,
D. Patric Hayes

[Stevernator]

Hi Danaman,
With the instantaneous nature of the internet us men especially are susceptible to temptation. However we know that its not okay to sin because it is an insult to God.

It can be easy and is dangerous to get caught in a cycle of guilt for sinning and then resorting to sin to escape feeling unworthy. Consider this,

10For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
James Ch. 2

We have all been guilty of all.

15For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.

16If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good.

17Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.

18For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.

19For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.

20Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.

Rom 7

The Bible says we are all guilty of all and Paul says he has no good in his flesh. Yet Jesus came to save the lost. If we say we are too unworthy then its as if we are doubting God's grace. I believe we must come to the point where we realize apart from Christ we are wretched, lost sinners. But also we must trust God at His word about his agape love and forgiveness for all of us. If we continue in sin then maybe its the result of the stubborn refusal to trust in God's grace.

12Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.
James ch 1

Forgive me if my thoughts are not organized. It might seem hopeless now but imagine how you will feel after 3 days, a week, a month etc... of being clean from extreme lust.  And the longer you stay free from this stuff, the easier it will get to stay that way.

But I want to convey that once we realize our identity with Christ that its easier to realize that you are forgiven. Afterall,

7For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die.
8But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
9Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.
Rom 5:7-9

As for one of the things you said, I would like to counter with "who could have imagined that a coldhearted torturer of Christ's followers would be an elect?" So don't give up. Just be honest and humble with God in prayer and "ask and you shall receive".

Also try reading Ray's transcript on repentance if you haven't already.

God bless, I hope to hear some day of your success in mortifying the deeds of the flesh.

Your bro in Christ
-Steve
PS I too struggle sometimes in this area and I know its not easy. I am ashamed of some of the things I have done.


Philippians 4:4
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

[KristaD]

First He shows us our sin, then He gives us the desire not to sin, then He allows us to see that we CAN NOT stop sinning, then He gives us the strength to overcome our sin one sin at a time over and over until they are all gone. This is not a short or simple process by any means, it takes years. You are being truly humbled in what you are doing that is beyond your control and that is EXACTLY His purpose for it. He will pull you up out of that sin and all of the others eventually. Paul said that he was the chief of sinners and I have no doubt that he is one of the elect. I agree with Stevernator, the guilt is a vicious cycle, do not let satan use your sin to separate you from God. When you stumble you have to cry out to Him to change you and most of all THANK HIM because He has already FORGIVEN YOU for it. He will only let this go on as long as it needs to, do not be discouraged.

[Dave in Tenn]

Hi again.  You are aware, I'm sure, that AL Gore invented the internet so man would have easier access to porn, aren't you?   

I hope you know that God is not finished with you yet!  What you have been and are is not what you will be.

Luk 5:32  (ISV)  I have not come to call righteous people, but sinners, to repentance.

Luk 14:21  (ISV)  "So the servant went back and reported this to his master. Then the master of the house became angry and told his servant, 'Go quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring back the poor, the crippled, the blind, and the lame.'


You may not be old enough to remember Nancy Reagan and her 'just say no' statement regarding kids and drugs.  A lot of people made fun of her...I did too.  How can you simplify a solution to a problem that has so many strands of difficulty to over come, from social, to genetics, to psychology, to physiology?  Well, poor Nancy actually had the germ of the right idea.  What is 'denying self' if not saying 'NO'.  Isn't taking up the cross and dying to self the ultimate NO?

Brother, clear your cache, dump those bookmarks.  This will lessen the easiness of the occasion to sin.  Spend every available moment in the Word renewing your mind.  You may find some things beginning to fade away.

2Co 5:14  (ISV)  The love of Christ controls us, for we are convinced of this: that one person died for all people; therefore, all people have died.

Lastly, from your testimony, check this out:  Though I can't find the scripture (and forgive me if it doesn't exist), it has been the grace of God which has kept you from sinning more than you have.  Trust that same Grace to love, chasten, and/or scourge you to put the very Mind of Christ in you.

Brother, I NEED this as much as you do.  So I will pray and covet your prayers as well.







 

[danaman1]

yes thank you for your support all of you.....I indeed am NOT in control.....yet I long for this to pass.....I am wondering what will be the next "thorn" in my flesh.....or maybe this too will be like Paul's which God allowed to remain to show him his grace is sufficient for him, and the humility which stops all boasting of the flesh.....lust certainly keeps me humble.....but I hate this!!! LOL why cant my stumbling block be something like um idk, well I cant think of anything that I want to struggle with but overcoming this hurdle would allow me to focus on what I see as spiritual meat and not babies milk.....does that make any sense?
Past:
Well at the age of 11 or 12 I was molested by one of my brother's whom I found out later was molested by yet another older brother(some of this shaped my view of sexuality and women....wanting them to control me, dominate, humiliate, and emasculate me etc.) and this was more then likely the biggest influence over my thoughts and fantasies still today.....
Lets see I went to college for a year studying electromechanical engineering(joined the Cincinnati Church of Christ, got baptized Jan. 28Th 1990, during the superbowl LOL: funny part is I love football, yet the 49er's were playing the Broncos....a year early the Bengals my home team lost to the niners the year before, so I was mad enough not to watch it anyway)....started working in warehouses and restaurants....then tried to take my own life at 25 I suffered major depression for 4 years(25-29).....not going out of the house or taking a shower and staying with my family, who for the life of me I have no Idea how they endured me at that time....destroying my tibia bone soon after as I began to piece back my life....my bone was  shattered and turned to "dust" the Doctor told me who operated and put screws and coral back where the bone had been in my right leg under the knee.....physical therapy for a few months to learn to walk again....wheelchair, walker, cane and now I have a noticeable limp and my leg will not straighten out, but there is no pain....the Dr. promised me arthritis in my future and when the pain and pressure gets to be too much he says he will fuse it stiff LOL.....meaning I would be like a peg leg I suppose not being able to bend the knee to relieve pressure....and said I would never run again and be lucky to walk.....well by the Grace of God I can not only walk, but I can run....though just like a white man(slow) being as I am 39 and not a professional athlete this is not all that important however(LOL I know God too was breaking me for he knew what still had to be done.....Losing the love of my life(at 31) a woman whom I wanted to marry(the church was counseling us on our relationship and helping with this process), then a close friend of mine passing away....my dad, uncle as well around that same time....then I bought a house 2002 and was working 2 jobs making 50K a year then lost both jobs....home foreclosed(2005)....new car reposed....piling up debt....losing everything I had moving in with some friends for a while til I got a Job with stability where I could get an apt. and start over....sold my Guitar!!!!.....so broke now that I cant even file for bankruptcy LOL ....things to me seemed not fair yet I knew God was and is in control of all that happen .....
Presently:
I live a simple live(I don't make much money, few friends, no exotic tastes really) but I tell myself all the time that I live like a king.....I know in America things are not rough for me....for fun I play video games (madden football, Grand turismo final fantasy, on line), listen to music(anything guitar driven) blues, rock, classic rock, some metal, jazz, classical(I used to play the guitar from the age of 16-25 like a madman).
Now I have a beat up old car, two cats (spot and klingon).....I work with MRDD men in a group home....8 men in all.....I enjoy the job as I feel I make a difference where others "work" with these guys....I interact....love and help to meet their needs so as to make their live a joy......they cant communicate so well with me.....yet I talk to them all the time.....and I tell them that they will be able to talk and we will be together in a better place......and I tell them I love them. They range from 35-57 in age.....and lived most of their lives in an institution til about 20 years ago. Well I digress
But.....anyway
God truly is in control
I will pray and beg him to take what I have no control over away.....
to do his will in my life.....
refining me as gold or silver is, and will always be his goal into the image of his Son!

In Christ's love....
D. Patric Hayes

[jakfr0s]

  My how the Lord works in mysterious ways! I was feeling and thinking just about the same thing as you today. I was just gonna give up, this time for real even. I remembered someone posting something about prayers not being answered and I hope not to offend but I thought to myself wheres the faith? Please forgive me, I can be such a hypocryte. Then when I needed Him the most I fell, hard. I mean I begged and cried then swore and blasphemed at Him. I thought if He wants me to be and do evil, so be it! Im gonna be as evil as I can. But then our great Driver hit the breaks and changed direction on me. So much shame on me now, He never really let me down, i see that now. I started thinking that I too was unworthy and that God never intended for me to be what we all seem to hope for, to be The Elect, The Chosen, The Firstfruits etc.... I thought so what who cares, we are all gonna be saved sooner or later anyway right? Seems the best I could do today was wake up and feed my baby. But when awoke I asked for help and guidence, right then God reminded me of a verse, out of nowhere seemingly, in Scriptures of which I dont know the numbers to, but I had read it here or from my own bible, which was something like "a man who falls down 7 times and gets up again" is all I can remember now. After such a bad day (of which I thanked Him for all day, even if I didnt want to)  I remembered this and so "decided" to not give up. Coming here and reading the posts really helped cause it seemed like God was talking to me and others more or less about the same things. The Scriptures really help, just to let you all know. Not that you didnt know. Keep em coming!

  Forgive my rambling, I just wanted you to know you are not alone in your struggles, me and your struggles are almost the same. Im sure everyone here is struggling with sin, I hope im not being too presumptuous with that statement. It seems that we cannot escape it fully until He decides we have had enough with a particular sin, or until we leave our flesh. Like someone someone said "one sin at a time".

  I too dont feel like ive changed much either, but something has changed. I can feel it, I just dont know how to describe it. Dont get me wrong, there is still alot of doubt in me and I dont know whats gonna happen tomorrow, and it still scares me I might fall and not get up again (shows how much faith I have ) So all I can do is trust Him.

  The people here will help you and teach you through the grace of God, He has helped me alot through them.

  George D. 
 

[Robin]

If I had a nickle for every time I asked "How" I'd be rich. How can I stop sinning? How can I change? How can I be what God wants me to be? I finally realized it's not "How" and it's not "I", but "Who". Christ in me, the hope of Glory. He must become greater; I must become less.

John 3
27To this John replied, "A man can receive only what is given him from heaven. 28You yourselves can testify that I said, 'I am not the Christ but am sent ahead of him.' 29The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom's voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete. 30He must become greater; I must become less.

Hebrews 12
1Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,
2fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

3For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.


Galatians 2:20
"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.


Colossians 1
25Of this church I was made a minister according to the stewardship from God bestowed on me for your benefit, so that I might fully carry out the preaching of the word of God,

26that is, the mystery which has been hidden from the past ages and generations, but has now been manifested to His saints,

27to whom God willed to make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.

28We proclaim Him, admonishing every man and teaching every man with all wisdom, so that we may present every man complete in Christ.

[Roy Monis]

well today I fell....and in a way that is common to to humankind.....I sinned.....I am still very carnally minded.....despite 18 years of "churchianity" and rituals lol which will never change me from the inside out. Repentance......I will be repenting for the rest of my life I know for sure.....I was washed and forgiven covered by his Grace at his death and resurrection.....the process of making me into his image is taking place (goldsmith) ....I get frustrated when I knowingly and willfully almost wantonly sin.... masturbation....lust...pornography....on line websites make it so easy for me to fall using pictures, stories, videos to which my flesh craves......even when I had not these things still the sin was in my heart......on my mind.....in my fantasies......I have not the power to master my sin as it crouches at the door eager to devour me.....(cuckoldry, feminizing, sissy, emasculation) types of my sin....mind you I am a virgin about to turn 40 as well......
For this reason I feel though God called me....and I know few are chosen.....I cannot possibly be of his elect.....this is not just a humble statement of me saying I am not worthy.....true repentance comes from within....and not by obeying and or trying to make myself better.....I will admit there have been a lot of changes within me that I cannot take credit for.....I smoked for 10 years from the age of 11-21 and I prayed that God would help me....for I confessed that I did not have the power to stop.....nor did I even want to....for I liked smoking.....but it was an addiction and I craved it from the flesh....but one might say well I crave food too, or sex, or this, or that, or whatever.....some of are benefit while others are for pleasure....but ALL have a purpose.....and a time.......although you would be hard pressed to get me to see the purpose of smoking or drug use.....yet those too are caused or allowed by our creator.....so ultimately his will......the desires of my life are put there by the Father....."some for noble purpose, and some for ignoble"......God created Satan.......Pharaoh......Caesar......Ivan the "terrible".....Hitler.....Osama Bin Laden.....Dana Hayes......L. Ray Smith......Saul......Judas.....and you!
mind you I feel bad when these things I do......but worldly sorrow leads to death while Godly sorrow leads to repentance.....at the very least my conscience is not seared....yet I am carnal.....I know the truth and still don't do what Christ says.....not just in this area....but this one gnaws at me enough to shame me.....and know that I cannot be elect.....hmmm I guess I need to forgive myself.....but how do I stop that which I don't even like yet continue to do of the flesh???

In Christ's love,
D. Patric Hayes

Hello! Patric

Temptation is a monster that's very difficult to be rid of in an instant, it takes time, patience, resolve, faith and love, which means total reliance in God who is LOVE.

For a start there is a thing on every television known as a switch. ON for what, if anything, is edifying and OFF for everything else. The same applies to your computer which is no different to mine, they all have the same facilities. For unsolicited pornography there is a convenient receptacle known as a "Thrash Bin" with a lid that extends an open welcome to filth, use it. The newsagents should keep filth out of sight of children, if they don't report them to the authorities. Avoid live entertainment that portrays filth, you'll save money for better use.

Now I give an example from my own experience. This testimony has been posted elsewhere so I won't go into the full story again. Suffice it to say that I was a very heavy smoker and my lungs were in such bad condition that I was given 6 months to live some 40 to 50 years ago and I'm 87 now. So how did this happen? Was it imagined will power? Was it a miracle? I will never know. All I know is that after I had my last passing out do, yes, I forgot to mention it, I had such a bad cough that on occasion I used to pass out with not being able to inhale a fresh breath of air.

When I finally came round all I can remember is saying "Lord Jesus Please Help Me"[/u]. That was it, but it was a commitment in HIS NAME at the same time for that help. Now every temptation is followed with that cry to God for help, because I cannot handle it myself. Satan is much too powerful. From the darkness within he must be brought into the light, as quite a number of posters, I have noticed, are presently doing.

There is no stronger weapon than prayer, trust and the Love of God. Keep the faith and waver not. "What use is it, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but he has no works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and be filled," and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself." (Jas.2:14-17)

The works required of you are the use the use of the provided switches and good use of the Thrash Bin. That's all, you can leave the rest to the Lord as I have done these past long years to my advantage. My prayers for you accompany this posting and will continue. Amen!

God bless you brother in our joint walk in Christ. 

Love in Christ Jesus.

Roy UK     



       

[indianabob]

Men and Ladies,

It takes some kind of spiritual pressure on our hearts to confess willingly and it takes courage.

We all have hidden lives we are ashamed of, but God already knows ALL about it.
What He wants is for us to look into the mirror and examine ourselves carefully
and then go to Him for a good scrubbing.  However the scrubbing may last only until the next day.

So we need to examine ourselves once again to see if perhaps God removed some of the dirt
for us and to encourage us to keep on keeping on.

In the final analysis, we need to beg forgiveness every day and have the assurance that it IS granted.

God gave us the desire to seek HIM.  God gave us the desire to be in His family.
What we can do then is trust that we will be there, we will be the elect of God.
What we don't know is how hard the scrubbing will be and how many times we will have to repent and continue along the path set before us.

Is God sovereign?  Can God drag us toward Himself even when we lose interest?  Certainly.

If God has begun a good work in us, God will complete it.

Bob

[winner08]

danaman 1 As I was reading your post all I could think about was Job. How bad Job had it. How sad it was to loose everything he owned or loved. I wonder if he felt like ending it all. I doubt it, His faith in the Lord saw to that. I guess that is what faith is all about. The lord does not put us through these things unless it is to learn. to teach. to give us wisdom. Even though we can not see it just yet we will one day when He is ready for us to see. Just remember this one thing This too shall pass. Evertime I get upset or feeling down I think of this phrase. It can be really hard at times but it will Pass. After it passes you will be stronger. God is building character,which takes a life time. As someone said keep on keeping on.


                                     Darren