Don't Eat the Mushrooms

[Craig]

A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.

"How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."
"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died."
"Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."
"He died of a broken neck."
"A broken neck?"
"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."


And as a bonus

What do you get when you mix Prune Juice with Holy Water?

A religious movement.


And as a double bonus

Two cannibals are lunching on a clown. One cannibal says to the other,
"Does this taste funny to you?..."

[EKnight]

  Hilarious!!!

Eileen

[Ninny]

Craig, that's just gross!!  and  weird! (and pretty funny)
Kathy

[iris]

 


Iris

[OBrenda]

 
Brenda

[cjwood]

craig,
keeping us on the forum in line and in stitches! you are a very funny man. i hope to meet you one day in person.


claudia

[jg]

Joke time? Hope you don't mind if I chime in..

You've heard all the dumb blonde jokes (none of which are true, just incase you're blonde, )

But have you heard the only, existing MALE dumb blonde joke???

Three steel workers were working on the 32nd floor of a brand new high rise. When at lunch one afternoon, the first guy, a red head, opened his lunch box and pulled out a peanut butter sandwich.  He looked it over in disgust and said, "I hate peanut butter!  I'm telling you both, one more peanut butter sandwich in my lunch tomorrow and I'm jumping off this thing!

The second guy, bald by the way, pulled out a meatloaf sandwich and said, "Guys, I'm with you! If I get meatloaf tomorrow, I'm jumpin too!!!!"

The third guy, the blonde, pulled out a pastrami sandwich, looked it over a few times and said, "Yep, I'm right there with ya boys, one more pastrami sandwich and I'm right behind ya!!"

Well, wouldnt you know it, the very next day, the redhead pulls out yet another peanut butter sandwich and true to his word, he jumps!  The bald guy slowly opens his lunchbox, and sure enough, there's another meatloaf sandwich.  He waves goodbye to the blonde guy and hurls himself off the high rise!  The blonde guy opens his lunchbox and yep, there's another pastrami sandwich!  Over he goes too!

A few days later at the corporate funeral, the three wives were standing amongst all the flowers talking.  The red haired guys wife sobs, "If I'd have just known he hated peanut butter so much, I would've packed something else for him!"  The bald guys wife cried, "I know how you feel, if I'd have known he hated meatloaf so much I NEVER would've packed another meatloaf sandwich!" 

They both waited for the blonde guys wife to respond,,,,,She looked at them and said,, "Hey, don't look at me, he packed his OWN lunch!"

I'm pretty sure this is a true story...........

[Dave in Tenn]

rotfl, JG

[OBrenda]

[Ninny]

Oh jg! That is funny! Ahahahaha!!