Job at the FBI

Started by John9362, March 17, 2009, 04:35:08 PM

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John9362


The FBI had an opening for an assassin.

After all the background checks, interviews
and testing were done, there were 3 finalists;
two men and a woman.



For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed
him a gun.


"We must know that you will follow your Instructions no matter what the circumstances.

Inside the room you will find your wife sitting In a chair .. . . Kill her!!'

The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could Never shoot my wife.'

The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.'

The second man was given the same instructions.
He took the gun and went into the room. All was
Quiet for about 5 minutes.
The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried,   But I can't kill my wife.'
The agent said, 'You don't  have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.'

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the
gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another.  They heard screaming, crashing,
banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the
woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.



'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said.  'I had to beat him to death with the chair.'

:D ;D :D ;D :D ;D ;D...........and I really don't care if Musicman heard it before  ;)

Love you guys !!....John



 

gmik

 ;D ;D ;D

I had no idea what the punch line would be!! Too funny!!

cjwood

now that's funny!!!!  :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D

i truly enjoyed it. ahhh women. aren't we just wonderful  :o

thanks for the giggles,
claudia

aqrinc


musicman

Quote from: John9362 on March 17, 2009, 04:35:08 PM

The FBI had an opening for an assassin.

After all the background checks, interviews
and testing were done, there were 3 finalists;
two men and a woman.



For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed
him a gun.


"We must know that you will follow your Instructions no matter what the circumstances.

Inside the room you will find your wife sitting In a chair .. . . Kill her!!'

The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could Never shoot my wife.'

The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.'

The second man was given the same instructions.
He took the gun and went into the room. All was
Quiet for about 5 minutes.
The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried,   But I can't kill my wife.'
The agent said, 'You don't  have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.'

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the
gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another.  They heard screaming, crashing,
banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the
woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.



'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said.  'I had to beat him to death with the chair.'

:D ;D :D ;D :D ;D ;D...........and I really don't care if Musicman heard it before  ;)

Love you guys !!....John



 


Killer joke!!!!!!

daywalker

I've heard this one a few times before.. But it stills makes me LOL every time!

- Daywalker.

Roy Martin

Wow! Daywalker,  I never did know what LOL meant for 2 years. I didn't want to sound stupid and ask.
Learn something here every day.

Roy ;D LOL

Kat


Hi Roy,

FYI here are a few more, HTH.  But OTOH you way not be interested, W/E  ;D


Common acronyms and their meanings:

These are all abbreviations for specific phrases commonly used in informal written computer correspondence.

AFAIC       As far as I'm concerned 
AFAIK       As far as I know 
AFK          Away from keyboard 
BRB          Be right back 
BTDT        Been there, done that  
BTW         By the way 
C/C          Comments and criticism 
EOM         End of message 
FAQ          Frequently Asked Question
FWIW        For what it's worth 
FYI           For your information 
HTH          Hope this helps 
IIRC          If I recall correctly 
IMHO         In my humble opinion 
IMO           In my opinion 
IOW          In other words  
LOL           Laughing out loud 
MOTOS      Member of the opposite sex 
MOTSS      Member of the same sex 
OMG          Oh my God 
OTOH        On the other hand 
RL             Real Life, as opposed to the Internet   
ROFL         Rolling on the floor laughing 
SO            Significant other
TTYL         Talk to you later 
W/E           Whatever 


musicman

There are a few more that I know but they are crass.

daywalker


Don't forget these two:

IDK  I Don't Know
JK    Just Kidding

I use those alot.. LOL  :D

Daywalker.


Quote from: Kat on March 18, 2009, 06:50:18 PM

Hi Roy,

FYI here are a few more, HTH.  But OTOH you way not be interested, W/E  ;D


Common acronyms and their meanings:

These are all abbreviations for specific phrases commonly used in informal written computer correspondence.

AFAIC       As far as I'm concerned 
AFAIK       As far as I know 
AFK          Away from keyboard 
BRB          Be right back 
BTDT        Been there, done that  
BTW         By the way 
C/C          Comments and criticism 
EOM         End of message 
FAQ          Frequently Asked Question
FWIW        For what it's worth 
FYI           For your information 
HTH          Hope this helps 
IIRC          If I recall correctly 
IMHO         In my humble opinion 
IMO           In my opinion 
IOW          In other words  
LOL           Laughing out loud 
MOTOS      Member of the opposite sex 
MOTSS      Member of the same sex 
OMG          Oh my God 
OTOH        On the other hand 
RL             Real Life, as opposed to the Internet   
ROFL         Rolling on the floor laughing 
SO            Significant other
TTYL         Talk to you later 
W/E           Whatever 


Ninny

John! I just got a look at the joke Ahahaha! funny! definitely funny!! Oh, did she get the job?? ;D ;D ;D
Kathy ;)

musicman

Quote from: Ninny link=topic=9578.msg81143#msg81143 date=12375 <br />Oh, did she get the job?? ;D ;D ;D<br />Kathy ;)<br />/quote]

No, but she received offers for employment from many other wives.


Kat


Okay Daywalker those were good ones too.  I added them to the list  :)

mercy, peace and love
Kat

Ninny

MusicMan, thanks for the info!! ;D ;D ;D
Kathy :D

Deborah-Leigh