Taser

[Craig]

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Toni. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser.

The effects of the taser were suppose to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries,... right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting
little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long,
less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!"

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.....

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.... I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY COW, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION@!@$$!%!@*!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs.

The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!"

Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative.

SON-OF-A-.... that hurt like heck!!! A minute or so later (I can't be
sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they up get there???

My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face
felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.

I'm still looking for my testicles. I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return.

Still in shock,
Tommy

[arion]

I've read that one before.  I wouldn't volunteer for the experience.  You see cops sometimes using these things when they probably shouldn't but I think they all have to be tased as part of their training with the things so they should certainly know how powerful they are.  Amazing what power a few batteries can have when they go through a transformer several times and up the voltage.  Whowee!! 

[Roy Coates]

been there, done that, got the t-shirt with holes in it to prove it. I was a SWAT team leader for 14 years. When we were first to get issued tasers they required us to "ride the lightning" as I like to call it. I took two #8 fish hook barbed prongs to the back and sucked wind face down on the mat for 5 seconds, Wow what a ride. No I wouldn't do it again, but I got some test wires and taped them to the back of my 18 year old son and 2 of his toughest football buddies. Same results as me. They learned not to agitate the police that is armed with a taser.

[judith collier]

That was so funny!!!! Judy

[Astrapho]

Oh oh oh my gosh. I remember watching a tv show about this huge hulking guy getting taser'd. He just went stiff and flopped down to the ground, and it almost looked like no biggie... But seeing your description there made me change my mind. 

[ez2u]

    they should be illegal  nothing but torture method.   in Florida the police taser a 5, yes you hear me right a 5 year old black girl , for being out of control.  Its ungodly  How much more will the English people fall?  to use these kinds of methods  instead of teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ.  I understand about protection.  do ye understand how far we have falling.

[Roy Martin]

A friend of mine has had one of these for many years. I don't know that its the same type but he uses it for spider bites. It has two prongs on the end of it, and one, maybe 2, 9 volt batteries.
My daughter came to me and showed me a spot on her leg that was no doubt a fiddle back spider bite. The sore was on her thigh, red from her knee to her hip, swollen and extremely red. I called my friend to bring his taser. I had known about this treatment since 1986. He attached a wire to one prong and held it on the opposite side of the bite and touched the bite with the other prong. He gave her 5 jolts of which is gone by the time you can say ouch. The swelling and redness was almost gone within a few hours. Within 24 hours, it was nothing but a scab already starting to dry up.
 I saw my Jack Russel dog get bit by a mature copperhead snake. It bit her in the throat. She immediately showed signs that the bite was lethal. I didn't have a taser so I called the vet. He said that she was going to die very quickly according to her described reaction. I mentioned shocking her to the vet and he said he had nothing to help her and that her only chance was to shock her.
In a panic, I stripped the ends of an extension cord, rolled her up in a sheet and had my wife to hold her steady as I put one wire to the bite and slightly touched her on the other side. I did this 4 times.
Within a few minutes she started to settle down. Her neck never did swell. The next morning all I could see were puncture wounds that wasn't even red.
The friend of mine that has the taser has a friend that is a scientist that does research for the government. The scientist pr my friends request did some research on this and found no information, but said the remarkable thing is that it works, but warned my friend that he could be charged for practicing medicine w/o a license if they found out he was doing this for people.
To this day my friend still answers calls to neighbors and friends that has been spider or snake bitten. It works instantly every time.
A coil wire from a lawn mower or a car or boat has the same affect and will work as well as the taser.
A medical doctor I think is the one to discover this by accident.
Drug company's do not want us to know this. Go figure. Lots of stuff out there to debunk this treatment, but its not true.

Roy
 

[ez2u]

wow   Roy now that is good news  thanks  peggy

[Roy Coates]

Roy M that is cool thanks for sharing that. You never know when that kinda information can save a life. ill put that in my memory bank

[WalkingThePath]

...lawl?

[musicman]

 they should be illegal  nothing but torture method.   in Florida the police taser a 5, yes you hear me right a 5 year old black girl , for being out of control.  Its ungodly  How much more will the English people fall?  to use these kinds of methods  instead of teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ.  I understand about protection.  do ye understand how far we have falling.

I heard about a five year old girl handcuffed down here but I haven't heard about the tazer.  I do know for a fact that a six year old boy was tazered down here about 5 1/2 years ago.  I know this because he was a student at a school I had taught at back then (Kelsey Pharr Elementary).  I know this because he was in my music class that very day.  I know this because I'm the one that called security on his insane behind.  The kid stood on his chair and started saying "I don't need to do what you say".  I walked over to him and asked what he had said.  He repeated this several times when I took him to the door and called security.  The next week I heard that he had broken a picture frame in the office and they called the police after that incident in my room.  When they got there he had a piece of glass and threatened to cut that vane in the upper leg.  The really important one that if punctured, generally leads to death.  So they tazered him.  Obviously, any adult can handle a 6 year old.  But would anybody want to grab a bleeding kid in the spur of a few seconds?  It was blown way out of proportion.

I do have a problem with tazers though.  They can be used for the same things that guns are used for.  They can be used to hold people up for theft or even rape.  I think this will be an issue.  But I like the snake bite thing.  

[Ellie]

 :)Well there is something new for the first aid kit......

[indianabob]

Roy,
I don't know the implications but I believe that you will find that the live wire from the extension cord is quite different from a TASER which is low current and high voltage.  Usually a few milliamps at 50,000 volts.

What you did to the dog could have given a lethal dose of current up to 15 ampere at 120 volts from your house current if you slipped and the current went through her heart.  Another problem with any one else trying this method is that one would not know which was the hot wire and which the grounded Neutral.  Whereas the stun gun or a taser has been engineered for the purpose that one would use it.
Bob

In a panic, I stripped the ends of an extension cord, rolled her up in a sheet and had my wife to hold her steady as I put one wire to the bite and slightly touched her on the other side. I did this 4 times.
Within a few minutes she started to settle down. Her neck never did swell. The next morning all I could see were puncture wounds that wasn't even red.
The friend of mine that has the taser has a friend that is a scientist that does research for the government. The scientist pr my friends request did some research on this and found no information, but said the remarkable thing is that it works, but warned my friend that he could be charged for practicing medicine w/o a license if they found out he was doing this for people.
To this day my friend still answers calls to neighbors and friends that has been spider or snake bitten. It works instantly every time.
A coil wire from a lawn mower or a car or boat has the same affect and will work as well as the taser.
A medical doctor I think is the one to discover this by accident.
Drug company's do not want us to know this. Go figure. Lots of stuff out there to debunk this treatment, but its not true.

Roy
 

[Roy Martin]

Oh of course Bob, it is a wonder that 110 didn't kill the dog, but she was going to die if I didn't. I by no means suggested for anyone to try that on a human. Its all I had.
The point is that the taser or stun gun as some call it; works.
  Hope no one thought I was suggesting 110 volts.

Peace
Roy

[musicman]

Voltage, good!!  Amperage, Bad!!

[crystal]

I know I should not be laughing so hard, but I'm crying! " Holy cow, weapons of mass destruction" Your a funny story teller!!! Glad to hear your recovering! Sounds like your wife will be safe from muggers.

[smeacham]

I just read this to a room full of family and a friend.  There was enough convulsive laughter that it looked like we'd done tasers on ourselves!

Steve

[Daddysgirl]

Enjoyed this thread lots!

And wow Steve, that's the most beautiful pic of you and baby on your avatar..

[ez2u]

musicman    I saw this on t.v.  a while back  it was to my recollection a girl  a black girl in southern Florida.  She was out of control  crying for her mother.  This 61/2 childbaby, did you see  him grabbing a piece of glass and threatening to cut his main artery  in his back leg?  That sound a little made up   not by you i mean   but the police, in my personal experience the police,  lie!!!  its so bad because of the responsibility they have.  They cover up for their abusive behavior.  I know we are to kept our minds and hearts in Christ Jesus.  I can not bury my head in the sand  at what is going on in this country.  I do know God Will is being done.  When women and children are not protected and cared for it is a sign of a country going down a steep mountain fast.  reprobate.  Are we shielded, from such actions, or our family with no recourse.  think again.  in the hands of the police  the taser gun is abusive,  fair and square.  peggy

[musicman]

The principle and councilor were there, and others.  Kids with mental issues often threaten with self mutilation.  Now probably the kid doesn't know what happens when you cut your upper leg. OR, maybe he does.  Believe me, inner city kids are street smart and that includes getting their way by scaring adults.  I have little problem believing that story.  Especially with the witnesses involved.

I never said I like those things.  There is great potential for abuse.  But when you're a cop and have a tazer, you're gonna have to justify use or non use.