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[cjwood]

Hi Alex, and welcome back! I've often thought of you and prayed for you since you left. I will most definitely continue to pray for you. It's good to have you here again.

george, i was thinking the same thing when i saw our lil italien boi's post.  i have missed your posts alex. i will surely pray for you.  it is an honor to pray for our brothers and sisters in Christ.  i too still experience the feelings of my fingers on the bars of my own prisons, shaking at them to break open so i can be free. prisons brought on by the lusts of the flesh.  it is a very HARD thing to die to the pulls of this flesh.  surely it is part of our gehenna fire.  alex, i know that feeling guilt about our inadequacies when we miss the mark is a good thing, in that it causes us to know we are helpless to overcome this beast on our own, this beast which must surely die.  guilt causes us to seek His counsel.  to turn, and repent. and, i know you know, we can't even come to that point until He causes us to.  but, we are to always seek His higher calling.  the higher ground.  being on His potter's wheel can be a stressful experience as He molds us into His image of righteousness.  but, He knows what is needed in His work.  we are in His most able hands.  


claudia

[judith collier]

Alex, you are still afraid. Do the best you can and don't worry if you fail. Not too many times does one conquer a biggy like this one all at once. My dad always said everyone would be a saint if they lived long enough. Usually it's little by little. By nature we are physically like the animals. The more you focus on this the worse it gets, when you hate something your focus is tuned into it. Forget about it, the raging war you are spearheading is for nothing. Surrender to the fact you can't do anything and then maybe at least you won't be hating yourself. More things are conquered by love than by striving. The more you love God, not the more you hate yourself  because of the nature he has set in you, it will get easier. Like anything, drugs, alchohol, pick the sin, it's all sin. Only a deepening sense of the beauty and holiness of God will make choices a bit less difficult and this due to the grace and mercy of a understanding God. Eventually like any overcoming you will pick yourself up quicker, ask for forgiveness, accept it and move on knowing you are like the rest of us always and at all times suffering ourselves.
God's mercy and understanding is so much more than your "sin" We are nothing and God deigns to look on us. Of course we are going to act like beasts. We are. Have a little more faith in God's love and when you are forgiven over and over times a million and you appreciate this love more and more and you want with all your heart to love Him worthily, then your sin is no longer the issue, He is. This is repentance by love alone, not disgust, wanting perfection, shame, pride or whatever.
His goodness is our cross. love, judy 

[grapehound]

Judy,
There aren't many posts I cut and paste to my journal, but this one of yours is a nugget.
For me, these words God gas given you are straight from the 'Throne Room'. They hit me like a 'Stop Press'! Awesome clarity and understanding of His love.
Thank you dear Sister for sharing that precious gift.

And thank you for this thread Alex, your courage and honesty have seeded some wonderful replies and I'm sure have opened the doors to many 'cells'. This is fellowship at it's best.
Just as Ray teaches we need ' all them Good words', so we need all the members of His body to share His loving and tender care.

Keep posting and praying guys, especially those that don't think anyone would be interested in their view. God called you here for His own good reason. Take courage, silent beloved; you too have a voice.

Blessings to y'all   

Grape

[Deborah-Leigh]

Judy!

You have been HEARING HIM!... Your King and Lord ~ you are sharing with us what HE has said. Oh how very wonderful.

Grief dwells in the dark but Joy is the countenance of His Glory and has to be shared!  

THANK YOU for sharing HIM with US dear sister!

Grape…I loved the “Stop Press!…” Translation ~ Shabat Press..  "Shabat" [Strong's #7673: To rest (x11), to cease (47x) to stop, to end.]  

…. the Voice of The Shepherd our King….is that tender whisper to the “silent beloved”…that is sharing His Love with the gentle loving deliberation of His Heart.

Alex this is a fine Thread dear brother!

Shabat  & Shalom
Deborah

[judith collier]

Arcturus and Grape, if you only knew. In order to encourage others to post I am willing to reveal myself who, by the way, is a very proud person.
When i write something I hope you will never know the agony that i endure afterwards. i am not a person of confidence when speaking without scripture to back me up or having experienced something deeply because i know how easy it is for Satan to enter. I always second guess myself and pray i do no harm. I believe more and more when one speaks out for God, Satan, the accuser of the brethren, attacks with viciousness those whose weaknesses are fueled by rejection and shame. Satan is a coward who preys on the insecure.
I really never know for sure if God is using me or i am just a full blown egotist. But, for the sake of others in whom i spot the same rejection of self =(who is made in the image of God Himself and where all beauty lies but has been wounded, belittled, rejected, abused and forgotten) I will in the face of Satan himself come to their side. Erring on the side of mercy can do no harm. (one must trust their instincts or be humble in the face of hatred because it can be dangerous by themselves)Theologically, i let others do the teaching of the ways of God.
This is where each voice is so important, no one is good at ALL of God but everyone knows something of Him, even the worldly know they have beauty, but not knowing the root, attribute it to themselves. i think this is why we love newbys because we know we are going to hear either falsehoods or truth, and if by the grace of God it is truth, then we all see a new facet of His beauty. (or correct the heck out of them, (funny) Our Lord is a diamond whether rough or polished. He is the Crown Jewel, the Lover, the Lifter of our Heads.
Dear God look what a little appreciation has wrought! And to think i was afraid to say what i did. How much we all need God's love. Thanks, judy (and now the agonizing begins anew, will I never, dear God, be rid of this old man or old woman (chuckle) Heaven has got to be a total annihiliation of our earthly selves and then we will no longer be looking at God through these murky little mirrors.
Ok, got a question, what i just wrote, i think I now understand what Arcturus has said more than a few times. This is for me too, isn't it?? This is as much for me as it is for others. I could never see it before.  Right?? 

[grapehound]

Judy,
I can't speak for Arc, but I think you got that right on the button! 
I love the thoughtfulness of your posts and the 'no nonsense' approach you bring here.
Now I understand a little of the 'why' !

Bless you dear sister,

Always in my prayers

Grape

[Deborah-Leigh]

Judy,
I can't speak for Arc, but I think you got that right on the button!   
I love the thoughtfulness of your posts and the 'no nonsense' approach you bring here.
Now I understand a little of the 'why' !

Bless you dear sister,

Always in my prayers

Grape

Hi Judy,
Our Brother Grape identifies your “thoughtfulness”. Many of us have this attribute that has been produced, or is still being produced and increased in the crucible of great human suffering.

 

Thoughtfulness  doesn't blossom without the sting of winter, the grief of pain, humiliation and finally, endurance. It is like a tree that has to mature through the seasons of God causing it to grow into a fruitful tree under which  others can find rest and shade under another person's THOUGHTFULNESS.



The second blessing you have is that  “no nonsense” approach that Grape identifies. This is a wonderful attribute that gets to the point and cuts through excess like pruning off dead wood.

 
 
What matters is the heart.

i think I now understand what Arcturus has said more than a few times. This is for me too, isn't it?? This is as much for me as it is for others. I could never see it before.  Right?? 

YES YES YES!!!!! ...YES...



Erring on the side of mercy can do no harm. Deciding to err on the side of mercy is a very noble decision.  I read this today....
.~  every man should have a large cemetery to bury the faults of our friends!~

: will I never, dear God, be rid of this old man or old woman (chuckle)...

THAT chuckle ability  is exactly what shone through Paul and Silos and then burst into song to God! THAT is a GREAT gift tip toeing from within your heart Judy! It is delightful to see! .



Act 16:23  And when they had laid many stripes upon them, (Paul and Silos) they cast them into prison, charging the jailor to keep them safely:
Act 16:24  Who, having received such a charge, thrust them into the inner prison, and made their feet fast in the stocks.
Act 16:25  And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them.
Act 16:26  And suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken: and immediately all the doors were opened, and every one's bands were loosed.
Act 16:27  And the keeper of the prison awaking out of his sleep, (LOL...ROFL!) and seeing the prison doors open(  Oh NO...ROFL...Ha Ha lol...it gets better!), he drew out his sword, and would have killed himself (WE KNOW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT ...so we can laugh hysterically ), supposing that the prisoners had fled. (Can you picture it? ROFL....)
Act 16:28  But Paul cried with a loud voice, saying, Do thyself no harm: for we are all here.



 Mercy activated is Gods Spirit emancipated!



Blessings
Arc

[lilitalienboi16]

I'm not neglecting this thread, just stalking it silently. So many replies, so little brain power. What to say...

I just wanted to let you know Judy i appreciate your care and post! I too am proud, but not in myself... i am ashamed of the beast within however, i take great PRIDE in MY FATHER who is MIGHTY. I have confidence because of Him.

Its funny because last night it really HIT ME while i was trying to sleep. I had once again given into the temptations and lust that accompony this cursed body! ugh.. and after having doing so, was greatly ashamed and sorrowed by my actions to which i began thinking. Why is it that its always AFTER i do WHAT I DONT WANT TO DO, that i realize i don't want to do this anymore? It seems like it always takes my own willingness to sin to turn me around and say, wait a minute.. i didn't want to do that! Then.. into my head... "THERE IS NONE GOOD, NO NOT ONE!" and our Beloved Lords words "Why do you call me good? There is none good SAVE GOD."

Oh how true... their is not one once in this body that wants to do good.. all goood things are truly from above. It takes God putting that desire into my heart to want to do whats good. And to think.. had I not known God.. i would never even think what i'm doing is wrong because this desire to do whats right is not coming from me.. its coming from My Father. Had He never called on me.. i'd be perfectly okay with this sinning machine that i am.

How strange. It took all this to see that, i mean.. i KNEW that only one is good, and thats God but it really really hit me last night that, WAKE UP ALEX, you think this desire to serve God is your owns? Remember, their is none good, that includes YOU alex. And so, now i'm thankful, that AT THE LEAST i have this desire from God to want to please Him. I only wish it would consume me so as to leave no room for sin!

FOR WHAT HAVE YOU THAT YOU DID NOT RECIEVE? Oh so true...

God bless,

Alex

[grapehound]

Profoundly mature sentiments Alex.
He's moving you on.
Just you keep a tight hold of that Holy Hem.

May He Bless you, Richly


Grape x

[judith collier]

llllboi16, it is good we do not have confidence in ourselves. It shows we know what and who we are. And thank you, I am not going to worry (fear) about this aspect of my personality anymore. So what if i make a mistake, how else do we learn.
Secret keeping is no more than keeping things in the dark and i do like to keep in the dark if i don't think i measure up! Too many years of comparing myself to the "good' people. Try revealing some of your sins to the "good" people! I've shocked more than a few and sometimes just for the shock value because i didn't see their understanding or compassion. (like it is their fault, but really they just don't know) (I usually attack if hurt)
One thing i remember from long ago (and thank God it was from long ago or i wouldn't remember it) is something i read, 'if God has called you keep yourself in good regard, not because you are of good regard but because He called you" And here i have been trying with all my might at times to measure up.
Hey world if you don't like me, tell God about it! I'm just a mirror for you and what God is trying to tell you. Sounds a bit harsh but at this time I need to be diligent about this attitude.
Hopefully, this will become a time of more peace for us in the emotions.
Love, judy
 

[judith collier]

Arc and Grape, thank you so much for your responses. It is a scary thing to lay oneself out there but everyone on this thread has given me courage to look a bit deeper into my own darkness.
Filled out my funeral arrangements and CHANGED my church affiliation. It is now L. Ray Smith. com  Got to give credit where credit is due.
love, judy

[Deborah-Leigh]

Why is it that its always AFTER i do WHAT I DONT WANT TO DO, that i realize i don't want to do this anymore?

That is how the Holy Spirit within you is leading you. You  ARE following the path through which Jesus Christ HIMSELF leads you.


Your sorrow and agony ARE the way of The Lord. Sin is the way of the Beast. The Beast within IS being conquered by the Spirit of God within.


We ALL must go where we do not want to go.
 

The sweeter half of suffering lies ahead  where the Devil leaves and messengers come and minister!


 The time will come when the joy of the flesh is killed from the very centre of its existence. You are journeying to that very centre. Christ IS leading!


The emergence of your soul into the Trust of Christ, is OF Christ.   


Laying down your life  is not an agreement, fellowship or submission to the Beast. Despising the shame of it, is the increase within, of the overcoming Spirit of Christ Who has overcome the world.

 
Blessings
Arc

[Deborah-Leigh]

Hey Judy

It is an absolute pleasure that you appreciate the responses you are receiving!
Credit all due to the Spirit of God.

Blessings to you dear sister
Arc

[grapehound]

Amen Arc.
Thanks for your encouragement. 


Grape

[EKnight]

Once again I sign on to the forum to find such articulate posting and so very timely.  Judy, you inspire me.  God is certainly working through you in beautiful ways.

I too am experiencing pull of the flesh and it's tearing me up inside.  I've lost about 3 pounds in a week and have not slept well either. 

I don't know where God is going with this but where He leads, I will follow.

Eileen

[octoberose]

 I go to this site for a lot of things, but helping with my husbands chronic tiredness and as he says, "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak" is not what I was seeking tonight! So, I'm just saying Dennis, this post didn't go where I expected, but thank you!
  Alex, you are so thoughtful and you are so right. If you were not being drawn to Him, you would be happily sinning and not having a second thought about it. He is surely doing a mighty work in you- even though you may not always see the path he's laying out for you.

[lilitalienboi16]

I go to this site for a lot of things, but helping with my husbands chronic tiredness and as he says, "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak" is not what I was seeking tonight! So, I'm just saying Dennis, this post didn't go where I expected, but thank you!
  Alex, you are so thoughtful and you are so right. If you were not being drawn to Him, you would be happily sinning and not having a second thought about it. He is surely doing a mighty work in you- even though you may not always see the path he's laying out for you.

Thank you october, i actually needed to hear those words right now. This struggle is so tiring and it seems never ending. I'm trusting some of the words from the older men here that it gets easier with age.. I sure hope it does. I was hoping the pulls of the flesh would just die and rot in a grave somewhere where nobody cares about it but eh.. I guess ill settle for a slightly less stronger and less frequent pulling of this carnal lust >.> lol

[cjwood]

... I had once again given into the temptations and lust that accompony this cursed body! ugh.. and after having doing so, was greatly ashamed and sorrowed by my actions to which i began thinking. Why is it that its always AFTER i do WHAT I DONT WANT TO DO, that i realize i don't want to do this anymore? It seems like it always takes my own willingness to sin to turn me around and say, wait a minute.. i didn't want to do that! Then.. into my head... "THERE IS NONE GOOD, NO NOT ONE!" and our Beloved Lords words "Why do you call me good? There is none good SAVE GOD."

Oh how true... their is not one once in this body that wants to do good.. all goood things are truly from above. It takes God putting that desire into my heart to want to do whats good. And to think.. had I not known God.. i would never even think what i'm doing is wrong because this desire to do whats right is not coming from me.. its coming from My Father. Had He never called on me.. i'd be perfectly okay with this sinning machine that i am.

How strange. It took all this to see that, i mean.. i KNEW that only one is good, and thats God but it really really hit me last night that, WAKE UP ALEX, you think this desire to serve God is your owns? Remember, their is none good, that includes YOU alex. And so, now i'm thankful, that AT THE LEAST i have this desire from God to want to please Him. I only wish it would consume me so as to leave no room for sin!

FOR WHAT HAVE YOU THAT YOU DID NOT RECIEVE? Oh so true...

alex, the words you posted above are almost like you have a mirror up to my heart/mind, reflecting back the same understandings being revealed to you through the Spirit of Jesus Christ.  the blue highlighted part is surely the heartfelt cry to our LORD we each have made as we walk this path He has made for us.

it is a joy to my heart to witness the growth in believing and understanding that He is working in your life little bra.   

claudia

[lostANDfound]

i haven't had time to read through every response yet so forgive me if i'm repeating.  but i was just talking to my husband about this last week or so.  how did Jesus not lust?  of course it was his Father not allowing him.  but how?  i think perhaps it was in how Jesus saw people.  He was probably so aware of our future state that it coloured what he was looking at.  we see "fresh flesh", He sees rotting organic matter housing lost souls.  we see a fancy car, He sees a future pile of rubble and rust that enslaves mens lusts.
i don't pretend to understand what you're going through, i think women are more enslaved to vanity.  but i think you can apply the same idea.  women spend a lot of time dressing up their rotting flesh, without regard for their souls getting uglier and uglier.  we on this forum know which is more important to beautify.  it might help to start trying to focus more on seeing things the way our Lord and Saviour probably did.
hope this helps.

with God all things are possible.

[daywalker]

Hey, I was hoping I could get some prayer from anyone who doesn't feel burdened remembering me anytime at all. I'm dealing with great struggles against the flesh, and I mean those struggles a man deals with... when his hormones rage like their is no tomorrow. I can't stand it, I know its not who I want to be, I know its not me, but I am absolutely powerless and even thats an understatement. I've tried time and time again, i'm constantly overcome. I've prayed for hours upon end, for months and months, years now. I feel like I've been thrown into a spiritual prison by the Lord. I want out.

Absolutely tired and tired of this, tired of wanting it one moment, then hating myself for having wanted it or done it the next. I feel like i'm absolutely bent and twisted upside down inside, the only thing that makes sense are pauls words... That which I want, I do not do and that which I do , I do not want... Ugh.. what a contradictive mess of desires I am!

I can't stand it, in my heart of hearts I want the Lord to reign over this temple and destroy this beast yet I find myself embracing the flesh at every temptation of it...

Prayers please.... Thank you.

That dang testosterone!!! Yea, thanks a lot, God! (JK  )

Christopher

ROMANS 7