Rick,
I love that you have read and reading the series on "no free will". That is definitely one of the biggest earth quake shattering events done within our heavens. Coming to the understanding and knowledge of this unseated me (that beast) on the throne.
Like you Rick, I asked the Father in earnest, to "please show me the truth, I don't care the cost. I just want to understand. Please show me!" And I got what I asked for... Little did I know that I, that first Adam in me, was about to be destroyed and is being destroyed (I die daily).
As Pierdut was saying, I got angry at God at first... angry at the church, angry at the world. HULK came out of me and did NOT want to let go of "free will". He was there putting up quite a battle for a while. I went absolutely crazy. I understood and agreed with the concept of "no free will", but I just had to live it out... But as Truth grew in me, hulk subsided. I wasn't angry anymore.
And Pierdut, I know exactly what you mean... I've done all those similar things you speak of. I honestly believe that's all part of the walk we are to endure. We all lose and leave our first love, and thank God He drags us back. It's all part of the walk. Your in good hands Pierdut
All of this (trial/tribulation) is for us, to develop the fruits of the spirit in us. Why does God desire us to be patient or thankful? Why does He command us to be thankful in all things?... always? Because that brings about a fruit of the spirit... it also makes us feel happy. Someone forgiven of murder is elated and extremely happy to know he has been forgiven... but given enough time and circumstances, that feeling or sense of "well being" subsides. But when we think about the wonderful works of God and are THANKFUL for them, we are putting ourselves back into that frame of thought and a sense of happyness "well being" resurfaces.
I've recently been reading some psychology books and documentaries on "happyness". It's an attitude just like any other feeling. A mindset. Scientists have discovered that when basic needs are met.. i.e. food, clothing, shelter.... that everyone has the same level of happyness or lack of happyness. A 5 billion dollar rich man can be just as happy or sad as a person who lives in the slums in India. THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE. Granted there are major events that happen in our lives that can leave us sad or happy for a brief period, but it subsides. It's easy to get complacent, not want to serve, the flesh is right here with us... but being thankful, thanking God, that changes our mindset to match His mindset and creates a sense of well being and feeling of happyness within us.
Shall we not receive both good and evil from God? Of course! But in all things we are thankful for it, because it's for our admonition, for our benefit. Learning to be content in all things. And this doesn't happen overnight, it takes time to develop the fruits of the spirit. There needs to be opposition in order to go THROUGH the trial and endure to the end. To develop the fruits of the spirit, which is what God is doing in the elect right now, it takes time, heat, and pressure. We are the one's being taught to live comfortably in the fire! NOW is judgement on the house of God, it's simply Grace teaching (chastening/judging/loving) us to forsake all ungodlyness and worldly lusts.
Before God showed me Truth, I was just ignorant. I was Blessed, the sun rose and fell on me too, but I was just dang ignorant (not being judged) and thought I knew God... BUT HAD NO CLUE! Thank God He has mercy on me in my ignorance.
It's all God's work. All of this. He's working it all! And I'm so thankful that He opened our eyes and ears to see and hear the Truth! TO KNOW HIM! That is life for the aion!
And because it's all Him and none of us....
Phil 1:6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
You can take that to the bank. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Because it's going to happen, if it hasn't happened/is happening in your life now. I believe everyone here has and is experienceing the "day of Christ", it's judgement day.
I LOVE IT!!!
I hope this was uplifting for everyone