Sister,
As generic as it may seem, whenever a question arises concerning the role of the woman or wife in the household, my first inclination is to reference the 31st chapter of Proverbs.
Proverbs 31:10-12
10: A good wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.
11: The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
12: She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
10-13:
First and foremost, the responsibility of the woman in the household is to be a “good wife”… likewise, it is the responsibility of the man in the household to be a good husband. It is a balance.
1 Peter 3:7
7: Likewise you husbands, live considerately with your wives, bestowing honor on the woman as the weaker sex, since you are joint heirs of the grace of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered.
See also: Eph. 5:28 & Colossians 3:19
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Proverbs 31:13-15
13: She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.
14: She is like the ships of the merchant, she brings her food from afar.
15: She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and tasks for her maidens.
13-15:
But what makes a good wife? A woman who provides for her household! Whether you are a single mother, separated but working together with your ex or happily married, it is the responsibility of the parent or parents to provide for their family…. depending on your situation this may mean that it is necessary for the wife/mother to work outside of the home.
It should also be noted that “provision” is more then food and clothing, it’s also a plethora of emotional and spiritual needs that also must be met. Once again there is a balance here, working outside of the home may be necessary in providing for your family, but it is also necessary that you are there emotionally and spiritually for your family and their needs.
1 Timothy 5:8
8: If any one does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his own family, he has disowned the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Luke 12:42-44
42: And the Lord said, "Who then is the faithful and wise steward, whom his master will set over his household, to give them their portion of food at the proper time?
43: Blessed is that servant whom his master when he comes will find so doing.
44: Truly, I say to you, he will set him over all his possessions.
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Proverbs 31:16-18
16: She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17: She girds her loins with strength and makes her arms strong.
18: She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.
19: She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.
16-19:
Verse #18 is particularly interesting in light of the topic of the current thread… “she perceives that her merchandise is profitable.” This would seem to imply that even the virtuous woman not only worked, but had mastered her trade to the point of it being “profitable”… sometimes requiring her to work into the night hours.
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Proverbs 31:20
20: She opens her hand to the poor, and reaches out her hands to the needy.
This virtuous women not only cares for her husband and her household, but she even reaches out to those in her community who are in need.
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Proverbs 31:21-24
21: She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
22: She makes herself coverings; her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23: Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.
24: She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers girdles to the merchant.
Ah, again. Verse #24, “She makes linen garments AND SELLS THEM. Who does she sell them to? Merchants. Do these merchants live in her house? No, of course not. Here is scriptural proof that the virtuous woman can work outside of her own household in order to provide for her family.
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Proverbs 31:25-29
25: Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.
26: She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27: She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28: Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
29: "Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all."
In the end, I believe that this particular issue comes down to “what is the motive.”
What drives her desire to work? Necessary financial provision or self gain?
Likewise, what drives her desire not to work? Laziness, in spite of financial need or selfless abandonment of personal gain to provide emotionally and spiritually for her families needs.
It comes down to motive.
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Proverbs 31:30-31
30: Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31: Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
Within our culture, it is sometimes difficult for a woman to be “successful” in the work place and her job not be the defining element of her life. I believe the scriptures say let the work that God is doing in you be the defining element in your life and let that work trickle down into the rest of the areas of your life… starting with being a good wife, a partner in providing for your family and for others in need… perhaps a way that you can do all these things is by working outside of the home… but are those your motivations.
One last thing. ALL THINGS (including a woman working outside of the home) are pure to THE PURE.
Titus 1:15-16
15: To the pure all things are pure, but to the corrupt and unbelieving nothing is pure; their very minds and consciences are corrupted.
16: They profess to know God, but they deny him by their deeds; they are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good deed.
Hope this helps, but what do I know… I’m a guy (trying to apply these same principles to my life!)
Grace and Peace.
Josh