Great thread!
Good point Darren. To take it even further, I think it is near impossible as a human being to forget completely what someone has done to you. God will one day remember our sins no more, I think when all is accomplished and He is all in all. But in the meantime we learn from our own mistakes and those of others, and while we are mortal it is likely necessary that we remember some things.
There are definitely small things I have forgotten in my life which people have done. I know because in some close and deep discussions with loved ones they've asked for forgiveness for something which I've clean forgotten about (again usually small things).
As a small child I was sexually abused by my biological father and even way before I became a Christian I wanted to be the better person and forgive him. Instead I cut him off from my life, trying to forget about
him entirely, acting as if he didn't exist. Obviously that wasn't forgiveness.
When I became a Christian I wanted to forgive the Godly way, but I still don't know to this day if I truly have. I've put it behind me, I think that I don't hold it against him. I certainly don't see myself as "better" than him, especially after learning all that I have in these last months. (see Ray's talk on All being guilty of All).
But here's the thing, we still do not communicate. Neither of us tries to. He has never attempted an apology. Now, if he were to show up on my doorstep begging for forgiveness, would I forgive and let him in? Yes, I think I would. Certainly. Would I let him babysit my 3 year old daughter....NOT A CHANCE!!!! NOT EVER!!! See what I mean?? I can forgive, but I would think myself foolish to forget what this man was once capable of, and after all these years, what assurance do I have other than words that he's really changed? I would never put my daughter in jeopardy.
Now if he were to show up on my doorstep and act like nothing has ever happened and just want to be "dad" again (like he ever was), would I still let him in and silently forgive him?? Well certainly it seems that's what Jesus would do. "Father forgive them for they know not what they do..." This he prayed, before anyone even thought to repent....Oh to have the heart and mind of Jesus. I pray I will someday.
But the best I can do right now, is pray for my biological sperm donor...that's what I like to call him
...that he comes to a knowledge of Christ. I know that God will chastise him in His own time and on His own terms. I don't know if this is true forgiveness, but at least it's a step towards it?? (I hope).
Peace,
Diana