I guess I am Kind of Lucky in this way.
My mom cannot take it in her heart that God would do that to any of his creations.
My wife is pretty much of the same thought. Most of my family reject the thought of God doing that to anyone. My mom told me that my grandmother always said that hell is here on earth. And in a way she was correct since we have fiery trials on earth. NOT that there is any Hell, but I think you kind of get what I am saying.
As to the other issue. I used to "Church hop" when I was single after becoming a "Born Again" believer. My Mom is Catholic and I used to go with her from time to time. But then I had my own Christian Church that I would Go to on a regular basis. Then there was a problem with that church and it's pastor. I didn't want to get mixed up in the scandal and it's politics. So I found another church.
When I got married (My wife being a Catholic in name only) , I ended up going to Catholic Church once again.
The same one in fact, that I attended from my childhood. I, My wife, mother and son all went to church there every Sunday.
After coming to the realization about the falsehood of Hell. I felt a little funny about attending the Catholic church, but what I felt more uncomfortable about was giving money to them.
SO,...to make a long story short. I still go there most every Sunday with my family. But we sit in the Cry Room. It is there that we listen to the Gospel of Christ, but I ignore the rest. Most of it is watered down kneeling and sitting and standing. They don't do much other than sing slow, slow songs anyway. And we have formed a bond with the other parents in the room. We talk and share our love for our children, we wish each other well and that kind of thing. But there isn't much Dogma spoken or heard. The speaker in the room really stinks, so you cannot really hear the mass anyway.
And I don't really feel God tugging on my heart to get out of there.
I have solved the problem of the "Money Issue" by putting all that I have in the poor box, which goes only to the Poor and is in no way helping the church itself.
I am now starting to formulate a plan to find a way to get the money to the poor on my own terms.
I plan on finding a part of town where the homeless hang out (Which is not hard), and just hand the first person I see the sum of money that I have in mind. And then just drive away.
I know that many may not agree with my methods, but until God moves on my heart, I do not feel the need to do things any other way.
I read the Word of God on a regular basis. I visit this and other sites of like mind often and I contemplate the word of God almost CONSTANTLY. My wife gets sick of hearing my theories of God at times. She wouldn't admit it, but I can tell she does. I cannot really blame her, the poor things is trying to watch TV and all of a sudden, I come bursting into the room and yell, "Hey Honey,...listen to this,..what if God,....Etc,..Etc,...!
Well, that probably was not a help to anyone, but I felt the need to share.
I will be praying for you mharrell08 and your situation.
God will see you through all this and as Ray says as he quotes the scriptures: "This to shall pass".
God bless, and I will keep you in my prayers. I promise!!
Dante
PS This may be a bit of peace to you though.
I get hammered on a regular basis with proposals to go church with friends of mine.
They tell me that their church is AWESOME and how wonderful their Pastor is, and I have to state the whole "Deal" as to why I do not wish to attend their church and how I feel that they are in error.
Sometimes they understand and sometimes it seems as thought their nose gets pushed out of joint.
What are you going to do,.. Ya know.
This is your life. Do with it as you will, not as someone else states that you should. Follow your heart always in love and you cannot go wrong.
I think that your problem stems much from Geography (As you stated). Here in the Northeast, MOST people go to church because it gives them something to do as a family (It only lasts about 45 minutes anyway). After that Most go out to eat and then home to watch the football games or whatever. Church around here is more a social event than a way of life. Not many people listen to the mass anyway. Go figure!