Wow!
What a reveling week this has been. How did I miss T
he Depth of Satan-Who is Antipas? in the Lake of Fire series? I have been reading Ray's teaching for over 4 years now and the reality of that section just hit me this week. I know if I had understood it 3yrs ago I would not have joined back at a church. I have done my time in all types of religious establishments to realize that most of it is a bunch of crock. I even attend 2 semesters at a very reputable "bible college" and realized that its all setup. When I left that college over 10 years ago I swore by that horrible experience that I would never have anything to do with religion again, but here I am being duped. Pretty sneaking I must say... Satan used the very thing that is dear to me get me back into his control by luring me with my passion for music. For many years I have played with all kinds and types of bands both secular and christian. I was scared when I played in secular bands because I knew that I was using my talent to encourage sinners to sin more. Then I felt awkward playing in christian groups because it was too controlled. Everything had to be picture perfect depending on where or who you were playing for. I always felt that when praising God with your instrument that you should always be free to be yourself. I mean why act it out? God knows if you are sincere or not anyways.
So I got back into church by a musician friend whom had the same experiences that I had with the world & religion and invited me to attend a service. The first thing I notice was that the congregation was very friendly, you showed up as your are(which was good for me since I'm a tee-shirt & jean kind-of-guy),A very diverse crowd with people from all over the world represented,Tithing was not enforced or pressured but was an expression of worship or offering, I didn't hear any crazy rapture preaching and the Worship was just that... Worship. No set number of songs or type of songs just free Worship. You never knew how long worship service would be. Sometimes 20min, sometimes the whole service could be taken up. In those instances the pastor would dismiss those that had to leave and if they wanted to leave an offering he would just instruct those to leave in the back as they went out. To me at that time I had never experienced a church environment like it. So needless to say I joined in as a Bass player then later as a Drummer.
It was a quote from Dennis Vogel that really struck a nerve.
IMO it's all about emotions. I've walked out of many movies emotionally moved. But the movie did not happen to me.
Churches use music to set an emotional stage. They start out with lively music and slowly bring it down to slow, emotional music. Then they pass the hat.
Then it hit me!!! Ive been hoodwinked!!! All this time I was wondered why I never could make real money in the music business when Satan can use me for free as long a I though I was doing if for the Lord. Ouch
Do you have any idea how bad that stings? Please understand that I am a Virtuoso(highest level of musical awareness on can posses) at my instruments. I am literally a pied pipper!!! I know what notes & rhythms to play to invoke any type of emotion I want and I have been used for the past 2 1/2yrs as a puppet for Satan thinking I was doing it for God.
Anyways, again it has been a reveling week for me. Please keep me in prayer as the Lord directs me in a exit plan. This will not be easy since this has been the best church family I have ever encountered. These people have really watched out for me since I started attending. It will be difficult to explain why I will be leaving. Also I have completely lost the will to play again. I'm feeling like some cheap magician that uses smoke and mirrors to create illusions.
Thanks for the input Ya'll
roundbelly