> Off Topic Discussions
Misleading marketing
musicman:
Hi folks. I am starting a new company. No, not the Pet Seminary or Pet Cemetery thing. I'm still cleaning up from those disasters. I'm offering to sell what nobody actually has. Now make no mistake. The churchies think we already have it. But God never gave it to us. But now, Musicman's Oils of The Serpent Inc. can sell it to you. That's right forum members. You will now be able to be whatever you want to be. Say you want to be an Olympic athlete? You can be one. Say you want to be a pantie model or a rich gypsy that knows all? It can be yours. Or suppose you were born a psychotic A-hole and you want to be a saint so you can go to heaven and avoid the eternal burning? Done!! What is this gift that no man or beast has ever had?
A Free Will!!!
It's quite simple. Just call 1-800-NeedfulThings, and I will personally perform a ritual that will give you the ability to change your circumstances, heart and mind. Oh, and also your history. Because you can't have a free will if you can't control where u came from. This is an exciting opportunity and will last only until the Bureau of Misleading Marketing catches up with me (don't worry, they just want their free will for. . . . . .free. Ain't gonna happen). So call now. Because the more people tell you about god, the more eligible you become for eternal blow torch treatment.
bluzman:
Hey Musicman, have you got Stephen King signed up yet?
Bluzman Tried to insert a smiley con but it ain't happenin'.
Maybe I need some of that kool-aid your drinkin' buddy!!
deftarchangel:
I called that number, and was told it would cost me $3.00 for the first minute, and $1.50 for each additional minute to talk to a sexy, lonely lady in a bikini. I had already paid fifteen bucks before she let it slip that she was neither in a bikini, nor lonely, nor even a lady (say, that wasn't you talkin' to me then, was it musicman???)! Change my circumstances indeed.......I'm out fifteen bucks now!!!! I trust Oils of The Serpent Inc. is a reputable and honourable company that will mail me my refund within 5-7 business days.....right??? ;) :D
Ninny:
Musicman, will you promise this one thing?? Please DO NOT USE THE SNAKE OIL ON YOURSELF!! Oh my gosh, if YOU ever changed, things around here would never be the same!! :o :D
Kathy ;)
musicman:
--- Quote from: deftarchangel on July 22, 2009, 09:23:13 PM ---I called that number, and was told it would cost me $3.00 for the first minute, and $1.50 for each additional minute to talk to a sexy, lonely lady in a bikini. I had already paid fifteen bucks before she let it slip that she was neither in a bikini, nor lonely, nor even a lady (say, that wasn't you talkin' to me then, was it musicman???)! Change my circumstances indeed.......I'm out fifteen bucks now!!!! I trust Oils of The Serpent Inc. is a reputable and honourable company that will mail me my refund within 5-7 business days.....right??? ;) :D
--- End quote ---
I already performed the ritual on you. You actually wanted to talk to a bikini model on the phone. Next she will knock on your door. Aaaaaaaahhhh, It'll really be a bikini model, I promise. She may weigh 500 pounds but with Oils Of The Serpent Inc., your free will brings more than you ever asked for. Much more!!
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