> Testimonies / Prayer Requests / Fellowship

confessing my anger

<< < (3/4) > >>

Deborah-Leigh:
Roland

I appreciate that you share such distressing times the Lord has taken you THROUGH. All evil comes to PASS. We go THROUGH such agonizing experiences that we do not believe we can endure and if fact cannot endure without His Spirit guiding, encouraging and loving us.

You say that
--- Quote ---You know what the first thing he said to me was. "I love you,
--- End quote ---

The distressing circumstances that you describe held a most powerful significance that only the darkness of contrast could inspire to remain in your heart, His words to you, that He loves you. It is good to see those words again. He loves you. He loves me. He loves us.

God can also talk to us right in the epicenter of our pain, past our most intense blindness and into our most deafening deafness. His Love Heals, Restores, Makes us whole and fulfills everything that is pleasing to Him and to His Father our God. We so desperately, pitifully and most vitally need Him.

God love you
Arc

Kat:

Hi lauri,

I keep in my mind what I believe to be a most profound truth, GOD IS SOVERIGN. When you truly understand this you know that ALL things come from God and you have to accept that evil ultimately come form Him too. That's why He is responsible for all things and will in the end have ALL things turned to good. 

Now as we are in the middle of all this wickedness going on around and to us, it is hard to be objective, because sometimes the pain we feel, physically or emotionally, is very great. It's like we can't see the forest for the tree, or we lose sight of the big picture. I look at this life and this world as the backdrop/experience of evil we all 'need' to know and have, because it will give us the beginning of understanding. Once we 'know' suffering and evil from pain/heartbreak/misery/sadness/hatred etc. we are then able to reeeaaally understand and appreciate love and goodness.

If everything was always happy and good all of our lives and we were brought into the kingdom after death, would we, could we really appreciate that?  Didn't we all receive the truth with such great exuberance because we had been through so much falsehood and even wickedness in the church? The darkness must come first before the light can shine through.

1Pe 2:9  But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light;

2Co 4:6  For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

mercy, peace and love
Kat

soberxp:
Hello Lauriellen,

I have the same feeling just as you, few days ago.

from what I have learned on the Forum and my Experience.I would tell you,we(you and I) are not such STRONG person of faith yet,I understand what's your feeling.not because we don't have faith,cuz we are Weak in heart,losing HOPE,losing Trust in GOD!Believe me!
don't give your sadness for any excuse,Wiped away tears, you can go ahead,donot think this way "god will leave you",he never leave you,cuz god has gave us all his trust for no reason,at this point trust god ,do it n not trust me,okay?

if you still feeling bad,try this,Pray to God:
"Request you who give me your will,and I put my will in your hands! Guide me!Cuz You have pointed out the direction for me!"

P.S: Heb 13:6  so that we confidently say, "THE LORD IS MY HELPER, I WILL NOT BE AFRAID. WHAT WILL MAN DO TO ME?"  (NASB)

mercy, peace and love
soberxp

daywalker:

--- Quote from: lauriellen on May 06, 2010, 05:48:27 PM ---hi to all:
i feel that i must ask you all for some help....although i have been a so called 'Christian' all my life, i was only lead to Ray's teaching a little over a year ago....at first, i was OVERWHELMED with gladness and thankfulness because of what i learned about Gods love, mercy and plan for the eventual salvation of all mankind...i have marveled at how my eyes have been opened to so many truths that were right there all along, but i could not see or understand....i felt so humbled that God would allow me to know Him more and more...i realize there is still SO MUCH i don't know, and i hunger to have more understanding...
but even while this great thing is going on with me, there is something dark (that i have been trying to suppress) happening at the same time. i have NEVER been one to be depressed, i always tried to look at the positive side of everything, and i was the classic "Christian" that Ray describes, always trying to get God 'off the hook' of being responsible for anything bad that happened. It was somehow easier believing that the 'devil' was responsible for the evil and God only gave us 'good gifts'... But with my new understanding that God is indeed responsible for ALL....i have been stuffing down feelings of anger and deep dression. i have been afraid & ashamed to admit that i even harbored these feelings. How could i feel angry toward my God who has given such hope & love to us? But today, i decided that since God knows how i feel anyway, i may as well admit my sin and deal with it. My anger grows as i look around & see SO MUCH sufferring around me.
Because of my sufferrring, those around me percieve that i am such a STRONG person of faith, because of the way i have conducted myself. I have tried to put on such a FRONT of strength, trust, faith & hope, because i would never want to cast doubt on God in anyone's eyes. And because people think that i am so strong, they bring to me  their problems & sorrows hoping that i can help them through or to learn of my so called 'secret' to being so strong.  I AM NOT STRONG. They don't see when i am on the floor crying out to God all of my doubts and fears & telling Him that i just can't make it through another day...my heart BREAKS daily for the sufferring i see people go through...there is so much evil in this world i just can't stand it sometimes. I just can't help but ask God how He could let this go on...i ask myself as a parent, would i ever put my child through such pain. Couldn't there have been another way?
Has anyone had these feelings and if so, how did you deal with them? I do love God with all my heart, and i do trust Him, i just don't understand Him nor His ways....i feel 'stuck'  until i can get past these feelings and mature in my understanding of God.
any help?
lauriellen

--- End quote ---

Hello Lauriellen,

You're not alone.

As someone who has gone [and is currently going] down a similar path, I can understand and emphasize with what you are going through. Truth is these feelings of 'anger' and 'depression' you are feeling in acknowledging God as the Ultimate Cause of all things, good and evil, were already deep inside you all along. Deep down you always knew that God alone is the sovereign entity of the universe and therefore everything begins and ends with Him. But you used religion to shadow that truth, and now that that cloud cover has been removed you are forced to deal with it.

You are going through a spiritual cleansing. This requires 'emptying your closet' of everything that has been crammed in there, and some of that stuff is ugly and smelly... It's okay to be angry with God; He can handle it. He understands why you feel what you feel, and He will deliver you from your dark hour when He has completed the task He is using it to perform in you. The best thing for you is to be open with Him and not attempt to hide it. Besides, as you said, He already knows everything about you anyway.


7 As for me, I look to the LORD for help.
    I wait confidently for God to save me,
      and my God will certainly hear me.
 8 Do not gloat over me, my enemies!
      For though I fall, I will rise again.
   Though I sit in darkness,
      the LORD will be my light.
 9 I will be patient as the LORD punishes me,
      for I have sinned against him.
   But after that, he will take up my case
      and give me justice for all I have suffered from my [Spiritual] enemies.
   The LORD will bring me into the light,
      and I will see his righteousness.

—Micah 7:7-9, New Living Translation


God is for you... Even when it appears He's against you.
God is with you... Even when it appears He's deserted you.

This isn't always easy to believe, but keep believing it anyway.  :D


Peace.

Daywalker  8)

Dave in Tenn:
Like the others, I have been and am where you are.  Some very cool scripture for you:

Gen 32:22-30  That same night Jacob got up, took his two wives, his two concubines, and his eleven children, and crossed the Jabbok River.  After he had sent them across, he also sent across all that he owned, but he stayed behind, alone.

Then a man came and wrestled with him until just before daybreak.  When the man saw that he was not winning the struggle, he hit Jacob on the hip, and it was thrown out of joint.

The man said, "Let me go; daylight is coming."

"I won't, unless you bless me," Jacob answered.
 
"What is your name?" the man asked.

"Jacob," he answered.

The man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob. You have struggled with God and with men, and you have won; so your name will be Israel."

Jacob said, "Now tell me your name."

But he answered, "Why do you want to know my name?" Then he blessed Jacob.

Jacob said, "I have seen God face-to-face, and I am still alive"; so he named the place Peniel.

Jacob is you.  You're sending all your spiritual possessions on ahead while you stay behind to take care of business.  You're wrestling hard against a God who is more determined and able to 'win' than you are.  You're seeing God face to face.  He will win, and you will live.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page