> Off Topic Discussions
Let's Ask Longhorn
longhorn:
Samson
I just don't understand what it is that people of all ages see in this facebook thing. As for your wife's addiction, I think a deversion tactic might work best for you. The next time she log's on to facebook you need to stroll into the room in a Darth Vader mask wearing a pink tutu and pulling a little red wagon full of Captain Crunch cereal smothered in cream of mushroom soup all the while you're singing the umpa lumpa song from Willie Wonka. If this dosen't work send me a PM and we will try a more drastic approach.
Longhorn
longhorn:
Gena
The best isle to let one rip on is a personal choice. The important thing we have to remember is that we must at all times have the mindset of a skunk. We can't just go around spraying everything and everyone we think poses a threat to us, we must alway's keep a reserve of magic gas in place and ready for discharge at a moments notice...As for myself, I have a hair trigger bubble of nauseous fumes who's only purpose in life is to destroy anything within a 15 ft radius.
Gena In my opinion, there a basically 3 catagories of poot's.
1. The common everyday life sustaining poot. - These are the poot's that keep of from exploding. Not much detailed explaining needed here.
2. The accidental poot. - We've all experienced one of these at one time or another in our lives. I've had to say " whoa, excuse me " more than once.
3. The recreational poot. - This has to be my personal favorite. Social gathering, funeral, wedding, it don't matter. You'll always be the life of the party as long as you can crank a long wet sounding one out on demand.
Now to answer you're question, Iif you're in a grocery store, shopping mall, home depot, wherever, and the rumbblings start, I prefer to head to the frozen food section. Why? well, first of all if it's a good one you'll want to preserve it. Secondly, if you're the easily embarrased type, the humming from the cooling fans will render the poot virtually undetectable. Whatever isle you choose, the important thing to remember is that poots were not designed to stay inside the human body.....so get em outa there.
Longhorn
judith collier:
Longhorn, I'm going to puke if you keep this up!
But I have questions. Why is it men can fall asleep anywhere at any time? Really, are they tired, are they lazy, or are they faking????
And why , if men are supposed to be so smart can't they follow a woman's conversation if it has more than 1 verb and an adjective and 2 time periods???. OUR brains can handle multiples.
And why is it men never seem to know what is happening in the family??
Where do men get their arrogance and self rightiousness??
Why are men so gross?
Why are men so controlling?
God sure knew what he was doing when he made a woman for man. He must have known He blew it with the first model.
Why did God give men all that testosterone if He knew they would just start wars and be like rabbits? Just wondering. judy
jassy:
--- Quote from: musicman on August 05, 2010, 10:30:19 PM ---
I was at the zoo the other day. One of the elephants appeared to have some sort of evolutionary mutation going on.
I kid you not. It had five legs. Yes, five!!
Two in the front,
and three in the back.
Women and children were staring. What in God's name was that?
--- End quote ---
Musicman, I think Longhorn avoided your question because he seldom sees elephants behaviour. I, on the other hand come from Africa and can answer your question.
Its a common phenomenon among bull elephants. Its called the Tripodius effect. It happens when they get dizzy, and helps to keep them upright.
Girl elephants dont need it as they are stable and never dizzy but it has been shown that they are impressed by the bull elephants ability to remain upright when dizzy spells strike.
longhorn:
Musicman
What a silly answer Jassy just gave you. You probably know less about elephants now than you did before. No, Longhorn has not avoided you're question, on the contrary, My cousin works at the Dallas zoo in the Aviary of the Amazon display. He knows the supervisor of the Big Cat exhibit who's Sister is friends with the brother of a guy who's uncle rides to work with the man in charge of scooping up the doo balls in the Pachyderm exhibit, who's agreed to hide me in the doo dumpster for a couple of day's next week to persoanly analyze and thoroughly research this extra swinging pachyderm appendage. Look for my reply post next week.
Longhorn
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