HERE ARE A FEW OF LIFE'S GREAT TRUTHS
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED
~No matter how hard you try, you can't bath a cats.
~When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
~If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
~Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
~You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
~School lunches stick to the wall.
~Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
~Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
~Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
~You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
~Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
~The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED
~Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
~Life is not fair - - get used to it!
~If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.
~Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
~Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
~Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
~If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
~If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
~It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
~Never buy a car you can't push.
~Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don't have a leg to stand on.
~Forgive your enemies but remember their names
~The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
~When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
~Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.
~If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
~You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
~Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.
~A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
~Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
~Families are like fudge . . . mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
~Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
~Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
~Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
~We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors; but they all have to learn to live in the same box.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
~You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
~Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
~Wrinkles don't hurt.
~Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
~When you stoop to tie your shoes, do everything you can while you're down there.
~Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but he/she can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.
~If you hang something in your closet for a while, it shrinks two sizes.
~My mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely.
~Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
~Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
~It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.